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Girlfriend has depression and has pushed away. Need advice/support

M

MK9866

New member
Joined
Feb 4, 2021
Messages
2
Location
UK
I am looking for some advice or support in how to deal with my girlfriend who has depression. I will try and explain what is going on.

My girlfriend has suffered from mental health problems for a lot of her life and had previously been diagnosed with depression at one point. She told me that she had been in therapy when she was 14 (she's now 22) but never what for. She also mentioned she had self harmed but never how. Anyway, in the last week (or maybe longer as I fear she hid it from me for a while) she became very depressed. She would stay in bed most of the day, would barely eat, didn't shower, had no energy, showed no interest in me or anything etc.

She said she was tired of being sad all the time so I encouraged her to seek help. She ended up calling 111 and was put in touch with a doctor who prescribed her Sertraline. At this point she was still in our shared university accommodation along with our other housemates. However, last Sunday we had a conversation and she told me she wanted to go home to focus on herself and fight her depression with help from her parents. She also said that our relationship would need to be put on 'pause' while she did this because it was the thing in her life that she could control at the moment. She also said she didn't feel the same about me as she once did. Obviously, I was heartbroken but I agreed this was the right choice.

Now a few days later, I sent her a message to check in on her and she replied that she was resting and that she had spoken to her doctor once more and now has a therapy supporter as well which shows she is moving in the right direction. That is the situation so far.

I guess I am looking for some advice and support. I have so many questions which of course she is in no shape to answer due to her situation. I am giving her all the space that she needs but will check in on her from time to time to let her know I'm here as a friend if she needs. I have also accepted that for now, our relationship is on hold which I think has been the hardest part to accept. However, I am encouraged that she is helping herself and that her parents are there for her. How can I help her at the moment from afar and is there hope for us in the future once she gets over this?
 
MoonShapedPool

MoonShapedPool

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Feb 1, 2021
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Hi 👋
I applaud this girl 👏 I really do!!She has taken herself out of the situation,
& gone off to sort her head/life out for her own Mental Health.
If that`s what she needs to do,then let her (I know you have accepted it)
as she will/should come back a much better,stronger version of herself.
I think you are doing all the right things tbh.
Respected her need for space & not bugging her too much.
That will go a long way with her in the future.
She`ll remember you respected her boundaries.
Keep doing what you`re doing,it`ll pay off in the long run.

She knows you are there,just distract with hobbies until she`s ready.
Hope she comes back to you,it`s rare to find someone so Empathetic

& patient 🙏
 
M

MK9866

New member
Joined
Feb 4, 2021
Messages
2
Location
UK
Hi 👋
I applaud this girl 👏 I really do!!She has taken herself out of the situation,
& gone off to sort her head/life out for her own Mental Health.
If that`s what she needs to do,then let her (I know you have accepted it)
as she will/should come back a much better,stronger version of herself.
I think you are doing all the right things tbh.
Respected her need for space & not bugging her too much.
That will go a long way with her in the future.
She`ll remember you respected her boundaries.
Keep doing what you`re doing,it`ll pay off in the long run.

She knows you are there,just distract with hobbies until she`s ready.
Hope she comes back to you,it`s rare to find someone so Empathetic

& patient 🙏
This really helps to hear that I am doing the right thing. I think it's because it's still quite fresh at the moment and it happened so suddenly that I am finding it so difficult. Thanks for your reply
 
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