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Getting triggered by my sister :(



New member
Oct 13, 2020
I am 21 and have been struggling with eating disorders since I was in primary school. The last year of my life (up until these couple of weeks) I’ve probably been at the best place I’ve been in a long time. However, during lockdown here I noticed my older sister doing a lot of what I used to do (lying about food, skipping meals, exercising without eating/after eating, eating very low cal foods, suddenly drinking lots of coffee/green tea) all these things I notice because they’re things I’ve done for years. I find myself wanting to be healthy now but constantly constantly getting triggered by her. I’m not close enough to her really to say anything and when I do try to say something people think I’m shifting focus from myself and my ED. It’s only getting worse and I can’t help constantly thinking about it/feeling so triggered when I am about to eat, seeing that she is eating little to nothing. She has only started doing this in the last couple of months. I find that i am thinking about this all the time and feeling upset/frustrated. Please help me, I don’t know what to do or who to turn to now (I also don’t have a therapist for those wondering!). Thanks 💓🥺


May 25, 2020
Hello and welcome to the forum. I totally understand how triggering it is to see your sister do the things you used to. I would tell your parents your concerns and point out all the behaviours you mentioned. Then it is in their hands to sort out. You say you do not have a therapist. Is that something you would consider? I think it would help you such a lot. Well done for being in a good place now. You must have worked so hard to get here.
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Apr 9, 2011
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi welcome x
its hard when we are in a better place to see others struggle as we did/do ,i found it very hard to come to terms with some of my sisters BPD behaviour after suffering from it so long myself
how do you feel about opening up to her and telling her you find her behaviour triggering?
im glad you are in a better place it is important you stay there x please keep posting on the forum for support
you are very welcome here ,i hope you will find this place useful Lu x


Well-known member
May 19, 2020
Los angeles
I may be projecting, but it seems like the people around you aren't very aware or supportive. My brother, he lives far away from me, is going through restricting. And my mother and step sister tell me I need to talk to him. But, I get upset simply because they look to me to remedy the situation, and don't think about how they contribute or ignore, in your case, the situation. Bringing it to their attention, doesn't seem to be helping. Have you been one on one with her, without their input, about how your disorder came about? It is difficult to be honest about your own ED to someone else in your family, perhaps doing so can help her. Not just say don't do this and I know what your doing. But being vulnerable about your own feelings about yourself can help her feel less alone?
I do not know if you have done this, however.


Jan 13, 2021
Ur 21 and she is older right. So ur both old enough to be able to talk about it together without parents getting involved yet I would think.
It’s definitely a tough situation. But maybe u both could even help each other by keeping each other accountable to be healthy.
If that’s definitely not an option... hm u could try to put more focus on your own health. Bc at some point she will realize she can’t keep up what she’s doing to herself right? Then hopefully she will come to a better place with her diet the way you have. Maybe u can be an example to her that u can be happy and healthy and active while still feeding ur body what’s it needs.

Good luck

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