It's been a bumpy few days but since being free of medication I'm slowly getting to a better place . Today is the most consistent day I have had in a very long time and dare I say it actually felt happy , talkative and outgoing . Been getting lots of fresh air and spending time with my other half in public places which is a good step forward too . I'm looking to the future for the first time and no more suicidal thoughts which I have had since my teens . Having seen so many different psychiatrists over a short space of time has helped no end . I feel I can live a full life so i'm striving foward . Going to see the CPN for the first time in a fews and going to be signingnup for a lecture course on anxiety will be signing up to a CBT therapy group immersing myself with literature . Along with healthy living and the support of some great family and friends i'm getting my life back .