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Getting tired of the urges coming back

  • Thread starter ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad
  • Start date
ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

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Nov 25, 2019
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Pinecone island of happiness
I'm just so exhausted and done, like I've been doing a good job of fighting off the urges to harm. It's been a couple months since I last did it, I did stumble a bit about a week or two ago but only a little. Got back up and kept fighting off the urges.

And my family and boyfriend are so supporting and letting me know I'm loved. And I just dont want to let them down. But I'm surrounded by negative people right now. My friends are fighting and they dont feel safe living together cause they're concerned they'll hurt themselves. And I tried to help. I listened to them and I tried to calm them down enough so they could talk to each other but it just didn't work.

So I'm taking a step back, I'm removing myself from the issue. They both feel alone, and neither is talking and I just want my mates to be okay.

It's just, idk. I'm not going to get involved, its messing my mental health and I dont want to harm.

But god do I have the urge to do it.
 
M

Mal84

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Jan 15, 2020
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Hovering in the Atlantic
You are doing the right thing in stepping back. You need to look after yourself more than anyone else.

What distractions have you got around you at the moment?
 
ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
85
Location
Pinecone island of happiness
You are doing the right thing in stepping back. You need to look after yourself more than anyone else.

What distractions have you got around you at the moment?
I'm trying, I love them I do, but I'm no use to them if I cant take care of myself I know that much.

I'm running myself a hot bath, so that I will hopefully relax, I'll put cold in it so I dont burn myself but just hot enough so it gives that tingle of feeling I think that will help though I am in a half panic state and overly aware because that urge is so strong right now.

I was watching a movie last night that I didn't finish so I think I will try to finish it after the bath and hopefully the urge will have passed by then
 
CatLord

CatLord

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Jan 12, 2020
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Hey Pine !

I read in here in this post that drawing with pen in that area on could help, because you can "postpone it" and maybe realize, you really dont want it.

Hope that helps a little :/
 
ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
85
Location
Pinecone island of happiness
Hey Pine !

I read in here in this post that drawing with pen in that area on could help, because you can "postpone it" and maybe realize, you really dont want it.

Hope that helps a little :/
Hey cat, thankyou, I do usually use red pen, as it lasts a while and sometimes helps me feel better. I've also found using red paint (acrylic or body paint, cause it washes off easy enough) is very useful. It's usually a bright red and is good for those really intense urges.

I had a hot bath though and the urges left as soon as I got in. I'm out now but just feeling sad and low. Probably the rebound from all the crazy emotions and thoughts that were just going through my head
 
CatLord

CatLord

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Messages
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Location
Europe
Hey cat, thankyou, I do usually use red pen, as it lasts a while and sometimes helps me feel better. I've also found using red paint (acrylic or body paint, cause it washes off easy enough) is very useful. It's usually a bright red and is good for those really intense urges.

I had a hot bath though and the urges left as soon as I got in. I'm out now but just feeling sad and low. Probably the rebound from all the crazy emotions and thoughts that were just going through my head
Oh thats awesome, glad it went away !
You've probably found a nice solution for it :)

I know how it feels being sad, but its at least without the urges. How do you feel today ?
 
ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

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Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
85
Location
Pinecone island of happiness
Oh thats awesome, glad it went away !
You've probably found a nice solution for it :)

I know how it feels being sad, but its at least without the urges. How do you feel today ?
for that moment it worked, but i think next time i will have to find a different way of getting through it, thankfully theres enough alternatives in the thread at the top of the self harm forum, so i'm glad for that.

today(tuesday) was good, felt sad still, woke up at 7am went back to bed until about 10am but didn't get out of bed until about 2pm?

my only issue now is that yesterday(monday) i'd only eaten breakfast and seeing as i fell asleep straight after my bath i didn't have lunch or dinner and then today i ate at 2/3pm? so i went a very long time (i think like 28 hours?) without eating anything. which is a thing that happens when my urges are bad and i feel low. but i had breakfast and dinner today which was good. i let one of my friends know my urges were bad so she could maybe act as a destraction during a wave. but also i spent time with another friend to make us both happy. which was good.

so tomorrow(wednesday) i am gonna go into uni, i dont have any classes but plenty of work to do, so i'm going to try and focus on that for now. Thankyou for checking up on me by the way, i really appreciate it <3
 
ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

ThisIsOnlyABumpInTheRoad

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Joined
Nov 25, 2019
Messages
85
Location
Pinecone island of happiness
I, unfortunately, gave in to the urges, but am taking care of the aftermath as safely as i can. To anyone reading, who may have given in to the urges or are thinking of doing so. Though it's not a good way of dealing with your emotions or situation and by no means do i agree with sh as a coping mechanism.

I understand that's it hard, and though it sucks that it happened, you just have to take care of the harms, pick yourself back up and keep moving forward. The harms happened, don't beat yourself up for doing them. Just take care of them so they heal well and keep fighting for tomorrow.
 
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