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Getting help for body dysmorphic disorder?

S

SelfSilent

New member
Joined
Dec 11, 2009
Messages
3
Hi guys and girls.
I have a problem and I'm not quite sure how to go about solving it. It's not what you think either.

Earlier in the year I briefly dated an astonishingly beautiful 34 year old woman, things were going really well for 2 weeks then out of the blue I got an email saying she couldn't see me any more. 2 weeks later she wanted me back, 2 weeks after that she didn't even want to be my friend, 2 weeks after that she wanted to meet which we did and got on really well again. 2 weeks later she said that "we" just wouldn't work.

In the time I knew her she had already told me about her OCD's and her fear of interviews, fireworks, balloons, party poppers, scary films etc.

Initially I thought it was a hormonal imbalance because of the 2 week intervals, then I thought she may be bi-polar but on further research and speaking to her Mum I have concluded that she has B.D.D. with the accompanying OCD and anxiety about sudden loud noises.

It is affecting her social life really badly. She would often tell me that she had bad skin, came out in spots and rashes but when she had these episodes she would lock herself away for days on end, usually making ridiculous excuses why she can't come out. I'd never seen her bad skin and nor has her own mother which seals the diagnosis for me.

The wikipedia article for BDD is scarily accurate for about 80% of it.

The problem is that this disorder is the same as anorexia in that she doesn't know or believe she has it. So my question is this, how do I get her help?

She is stubborn so won't listen if I try to explain it to her and I can hardly trick her into going to a psychologist. I want to see her well again for her own sake as she is such a lovely and caring lady.

Any thoughts would be greatly received.
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
I feel for your girlfriend I suffered this for many yearsin silence because I didnt even know it exsisted. I was 33 when I only just liked a part of my body. I have diffciutly with body image now for different reasons because I have an ileostomy but at least I belive that I am gorgeous because thats whot I have been told through out my life I just didnt hear it.

I dont know how anyone deals with it I couldnt even look in the mirror for loads of years it is crippling,You can only be there for your girlfriend and hope it ends for her soon.
The sad thing is she is proberly beautiful because I have seen some photos recently from when I was 21 n I could of been a model thats the sad part
Godbless JD
 
KP1

KP1

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
1,500
My thoughts are I don't think I would like a new boyfriend to be diagnosing me with mental health problems. Try taking a step back any enjoy the relationship first.
KP
 
S

SelfSilent

New member
Joined
Dec 11, 2009
Messages
3
My thoughts are I don't think I would like a new boyfriend to be diagnosing me with mental health problems. Try taking a step back any enjoy the relationship first.
KP
I think you misread the post, I'm not with her. I only dated her for a fortnight back in August. It was only very recently that I worked out the problem.
If I was with her it would be fairly easy as I'd be able to talk to her but she has got a lot worse recently, locks herself in her room, doesn't answer emails or texts.

Frankly I'm surprised and disappointed in your reply KP1, for a long standing member like yourself to suggest ignoring a mental health problem astounds me.
 
P

philmriv

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2009
Messages
52
Location
Hawaii
Is body dysmorphic disorder a form of social anxiety? I have always wondered about that... Does anybody know?
 
S

SelfSilent

New member
Joined
Dec 11, 2009
Messages
3
Of course. They are anxious that people will see their apparent fault and think they are ugly because of it.
 
P

philmriv

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2009
Messages
52
Location
Hawaii
Thanks for clarifying!

I have Social Anxiety too, although not the body dysmorphic kind. I can see how that would work though, in terms of being socially anxious.
 
K

kb2

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2010
Messages
4
Hi,

I dont know a whole lot about BDD, but i suffered from anorexia.

I know you really want to help this girl, but to do this it will take alot of taking to her because shes going to have to come to a realisation (even a small one) that shes not ugly and theres nothing wrong with her. Your probably thinking theres no way she will.

This can be a very long process, i know it took a long time and alot of people telling me I wasnt overweight etc for me to pay attention. You should try and become a person she can confide in, try talking to her about why she thinks she not beautiful and keep reassuring her that she is. But remember at the same time, although you are very frustrated because you just want to help and you can see she is astonishingly beautiful...she truely believes she isnt and its gonna take some time before she changes her way of thinking. Just take baby steps.

Maybe after gaining her confidence you could bring up the subject, when you feel its the right time, that she should maybe go talk to a professional. It doesnt even have to be a doctor to begin with, maybe a counseller trained in this area. Im sure there are some places that do free services of this type, though im sorry i dont know any off hand! Also know that it would be quite hard for a doctor to treat your friend if she insists theres nothing wrong with her (which it sounds like she would) thats why you need to try to help her help herself.

I'm no expert but i hope this helps a bit and i hope your friend gets the help she needs, its must be awful for her, her family and yourself.
 
P

philmriv

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 30, 2009
Messages
52
Location
Hawaii
You know I didn't realize but Social Anxiety Anonymous (where I call into telephone support groups for my social anxiety problems) also helps people with Body Dysmorphic Disorder (which can be another type of social anxiety).

Anyway those telephone support groups are free: http://www.healsocialanxiety.com

They've helped me a lot. Although forums help me too...
 
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