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Getting Banned, On The Internet

Chris Walken

Chris Walken

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2014
Messages
495
Location
Eire
Yeah; She's actually what passes ~ in Eire ~ for a " Jack Russel ". They like them that way, here. Practically pint sized and with stumpy legs. Has got rather buggy eyes too, hasn't she? I, literally, just looked down at her, sitting here staring at me, and noticed that.

Bit of a mess of a Dog, really. But, so what? She won't take shit from anything, and is hilarious ~ in real life ~ in so many ways :)


Regards ye apparent notion that I think PT should be my get out of jail free card? Not at all. I believe I'd already disavowed that notion? (Forgive me; Talking, on here, and to the person in PM? It's a job to remember exactly what and where)

No. Having been banned from practically everything from 'Pipe and Slippers Affectionados' fora, to 'They're Gonna Fukkin Get It! ~ Football Hooligans Fight Planning' fora? I just raised the question of 'WTF Is Wrong With Me?!' here, because this is a place I can safely expose and discuss a major aspect of myself.

Frankly? I'm really interested in the, above, simple loss of 'social skills', due to lack of usage, notion. I have a handle on that, now, that I might like to examine, later. And, I'd like to record; I'm beating this thing as much for others, as for myself. The next person with this question on their mind stands to find a pretty comprehensive discussion of the phenomena here.


Finally ~ before I go horizontal in the Dog Pile for a bit? Don't I fucking go on?!? :rolleyes: Relevant point though! Hermit. Can't shut the fuck up? I had an old friend who ~ forgive me, I don't know how to 'translate' these very english terms so you'd better understand them. But, he worked for the Forestry Commission and was one of their top Vermin Trappers.

He used to run day courses, instructing Gamekeepers on various matters. He once said to me; 'The worst thing about trying to instruct a bunch of Gamekeepers is that they just won't Shut Up!!! Working completely alone, deep in the woods, for three hundred and fifty odd days of the year? Put them together and they just absolutely gush with a torrent of stored up chatter!'

Me, see?! Don't get to chat to any bastard! Head absolutely chock full of thoughts I can't express to anyone but the Dogs and horses. Give me a platform and I'll give even Tolstoy a run for his money! :D


(Remember, kids; No one's Making ye read this shit!)
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
10,565
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
I agree with you about cucumber, Chris, what is the actual point of cucumbers? they are basically crunchy water, you might as well chew on an ice cube and that would taste better????????

cute dog though :) my cat has turned her back now cause she don't like dogs :LOL:
 
R

Ramson mash

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
3,007
Location
Uk
They are good to munch on and are quite popular maybe for other reasons.
I have four spaces for cucumber in my shop so they're a big seller. When i notice a nice looking lady grasp a big one, i can just imagine whats gunna happen.:D
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
2,319
Location
USA
Yeah; She's actually what passes ~ in Eire ~ for a " Jack Russel ". They like them that way, here. Practically pint sized and with stumpy legs. Has got rather buggy eyes too, hasn't she? I, literally, just looked down at her, sitting here staring at me, and noticed that.

Bit of a mess of a Dog, really. But, so what? She won't take shit from anything, and is hilarious ~ in real life ~ in so many ways :)


Regards ye apparent notion that I think PT should be my get out of jail free card? Not at all. I believe I'd already disavowed that notion? (Forgive me; Talking, on here, and to the person in PM? It's a job to remember exactly what and where)

No. Having been banned from practically everything from 'Pipe and Slippers Affectionados' fora, to 'They're Gonna Fukkin Get It! ~ Football Hooligans Fight Planning' fora? I just raised the question of 'WTF Is Wrong With Me?!' here, because this is a place I can safely expose and discuss a major aspect of myself.

Frankly? I'm really interested in the, above, simple loss of 'social skills', due to lack of usage, notion. I have a handle on that, now, that I might like to examine, later. And, I'd like to record; I'm beating this thing as much for others, as for myself. The next person with this question on their mind stands to find a pretty comprehensive discussion of the phenomena here.


Finally ~ before I go horizontal in the Dog Pile for a bit? Don't I fucking go on?!?:rolleyes: Relevant point though! Hermit. Can't shut the fuck up? I had an old friend who ~ forgive me, I don't know how to 'translate' these very english terms so you'd better understand them. But, he worked for the Forestry Commission and was one of their top Vermin Trappers.

He used to run day courses, instructing Gamekeepers on various matters. He once said to me; 'The worst thing about trying to instruct a bunch of Gamekeepers is that they just won't Shut Up!!! Working completely alone, deep in the woods, for three hundred and fifty odd days of the year? Put them together and they just absolutely gush with a torrent of stored up chatter!'

Me, see?! Don't get to chat to any bastard! Head absolutely chock full of thoughts I can't express to anyone but the Dogs and horses. Give me a platform and I'll give even Tolstoy a run for his money! :D




(Remember, kids; No one's Making ye read this shit!)

I had a Jack Russel for 11 years until she got sick and I had to put her down.I loved her so much and still miss her even though it's been like 12 years she's been gone.They're very hyper dogs and very territorial.Yours is very cute,btw.

It wasn't me that you conversed with via PM.But I'm sorry if I offended you by anything I said,especially about using PTSD as an excuse for anything.My point is/was that it doesn't really matter if we do have and struggle with PTSD,forums aren't going to be lenient with us because of it.Mostly meaning myself though.

It could be that you have lost some of your ability to socialize due to being so isolated and your 'use it or lose it' theory.IDK.For me I know it's because I am so easily triggered by things that I read and I need to manage myself better.I get an instant surge through my body like my blood is boiling,my heart starts pounding and then I react without thinking.I do that IRL too,not just on forums.And then I feel like such shit about myself afterwards for it.

I was in a grocery store once,I had got 2 donuts,took them to the cashier and I thought for sure she said "who did you have in your bed last night" and I instantly reacted,giving her shit for it.Turned out she had asked what was in the bag I had,how many,what type of donuts.I was humilated by it.I hate how easily I react to people and situations.I have learned so many things through trauma therapy,have so many tools and skills I can use to help myself yet it's so hard to stop and think before I react.But at least I am not violent with people like I used to be.I used to be a hair trigger and ready to fight,physically fight,on the drop of a dime.But that was before I knew I had PTSD and before therapy for it.But I still do have inappropriate reactions often.Sometimes I feel I am better off isolating and staying away from the world,but that only makes me feel worse really.

Sorry you don't get to chat to anyone.I'm glad you are here though,I'm actually enjoying it.It's kinda nice to know someone else suffers with chronic PTSD.Actually,even after all the years of therapy I had my therapist said I still have 'constant' PTSD.I am just trying to live a somewhat meaningful life despite it.It's hard and gets depressing though.
 
Chris Walken

Chris Walken

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2014
Messages
495
Location
Eire
Yeah, the 'Therapies' they tried on me got no where. Even though they were practically lining up to have a go.

How about this?! One shrink took a look at me. Said, " Ah, yes. We'll have ye right as rain in no time! ". I dunno what it was. Something about him. His face? His voice? Hit utter and simple confidence that I wasn't a problem? Dunno.

Three days later, on a quiet night out with friends; Fucker dropped stone dead!!! :eek: I got told that when I turned up for my following appointment with him! Ye couldn't possibly make this shit up!

Anyway, yeah. I allowed their system to do with me what ever they wanted. Attended my appointments. Took my drugs. Accepted being sectioned without complaint.

Nothing was happening. As I always tried to explain it, to laymen? I'd say; " It's like my Adrenalin valve has cracked open. Now, my system's being constantly flooded with it. " It's bloody horrible!

Anyway ..... I promised myself a night off, tonight. Kay's at her mums, so she won't be calling. I'm planning to get my boots off and binge watch a load of netflix. One entire thesis of introspection is quite enough for one weekend! :unsure:
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
10,565
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
Yeah, the 'Therapies' they tried on me got no where. Even though they were practically lining up to have a go.

How about this?! One shrink took a look at me. Said, " Ah, yes. We'll have ye right as rain in no time! ". I dunno what it was. Something about him. His face? His voice? Hit utter and simple confidence that I wasn't a problem? Dunno.

Three days later, on a quiet night out with friends; Fucker dropped stone dead!!! :eek: I got told that when I turned up for my following appointment with him! Ye couldn't possibly make this shit up!

Anyway, yeah. I allowed their system to do with me what ever they wanted. Attended my appointments. Took my drugs. Accepted being sectioned without complaint.

Nothing was happening. As I always tried to explain it, to laymen? I'd say; " It's like my Adrenalin valve has cracked open. Now, my system's being constantly flooded with it. " It's bloody horrible!

Anyway ..... I promised myself a night off, tonight. Kay's at her mums, so she won't be calling. I'm planning to get my boots off and binge watch a load of netflix. One entire thesis of introspection is quite enough for one weekend! :unsure:
He just dropped dead??????/ And nobody contacted you before the appointment to tell you they had to change it or cancel???????? :confused:
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
10,565
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
Nowadays I'd complain if they sectioned me cause I'd be worried about whether my cats (Tigger and Willow) would be okay without me.
 
Chris Walken

Chris Walken

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2014
Messages
495
Location
Eire
Yep. Seems he was actually standing in a bar. Having a drink with a couple of mates. Went down like a sack of shit, without a murmur. Cardiac arrest. Often happens like that. Medics call the classic 'Clutcher' a Holywood Heart attack.

I guess no one bothered me because I was new into the system and I'd only had the introductory meeting with the guy. Never forgotten the absolute confidence he instilled in me though. Every other one I met was just earning their pay.
 
Chris Walken

Chris Walken

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2014
Messages
495
Location
Eire
Sectioned? Quite 'funny' actually. On top of everything else; The best Dog I ever had died on me, right then. Just a pup.

Well, I was in such a state, a mate lent me one of his. Pit Bull. I can't be without a Dog at the best of times.

Every day I went to meet this bloke, on the hill ~ can't even remember who or what the hell he was now ~ I had the bitch with me. He'd ask if I'd be willing to go into hospital. I'd say I had absolutely no problems with the prospect. But, that I had this bitch.

So, one night, I'm taking Bitchling down the put with me. She's on an old rope lead. I'm on ..... Oh, what was it? Starts with a P. Anti Psychotic / sedative sort of Chlorapromazine! That was it! Head was practically wobbling.

There was this cat that always sat on a particular, low wall. It would sit there. Dog would jump at it. I'd jerk the Dog back. One we'd go. We were all used to it.

So, this night, cat says," Evening, Chris. Dog. " Dog says, " Evening, cat. Excuse me while I just react naturally. " Cat says, " Sure. Fine. "

Dog leaps. I jerk the lead. Fucking thing snaps clean in two and all hell let loose!!! :eek:

Don't worry. No one got hurt. But, I called my mate to explain and we agreed the Dog should disappear. Gavvers should come knocking? The bitch had ran away. So, he took her back.

I turned up on the hill, next day. Matey said, " Ye have no Dog. How about the nut house? " I, still in a Chloro' daze, sort of looked at my wrist. Realised there was no lead on it and said I'd get the bus.

Got there. They started giving me god knows what. One evening, I saw some patients go out the doors at the end. Bloke in whites sat there, on a chair. Figured I'd go for a zombie like shuffle myself.

Got to the doors. Bloke said, " Sorry, Chris. Ye can't go out there. " I just sort of thought, " Oh. " Turned and shuffled back to the smoking room.

It actually never once entered my head, for Months; Bastards has bloody Sectioned me!!!:scared: Cheeky sods! Bloke on the hill had never mentioned That bit!
 
H

harsh-reality

Well-known member
Joined
May 31, 2016
Messages
273
Location
England
sorry to hear your troubles chris

it sounds like you want know people in real life but some troublesome interactions on the internet has caused you increased paranoia of all people's motives and its knocked on into your everyday life away from the net...

not all of us are a holes - however it works I hope you find your place both on the net and in your everyday living also....
 
Chris Walken

Chris Walken

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2014
Messages
495
Location
Eire
Harsh; Thanks for the reply.

Did ye read all the above?(!) Only, I was really aware, myself, how my last post was so much more laid back than how I started.

Wasn't staged that way. Just me. Nothing's roused me, today, or yesterday. Hence, less of the 'Anger Swearing'.

Out of interest ~ at least to me! ~ That's a point. I'll quietly swear, during the most gentle and laid back conversations. Even with a nun. That's the way I naturally talk.

On fora where only " F**k it! " is allowed? I'm pretty much able to, naturally, fall into the Typing manner where by I adopt that rule. I guess it takes me long enough, to type the sentence in my head, that, by the time I get to the expletive? I'm ready for it.

Here, we're allowed to swear. Thank god! Be a bit tricky, half of us lot being able to express ourselves, in Full Blown mode, and being told to 'keep it down'?! :eek: Like having a major episode in a library, and every idiot going, " SHHHhhhhhh!!!! :mad: ". That would end terribly well, wouldn't it?!

I don't know, mate. Perhaps I'm focusing a bit too much on the simple swearing aspect? We can swear freely here ~ Believe me! I checked That before joining! Two requirements: Had to be 'English' and allow swearing! Total waste of time otherwise! Obviously!

But, I've been slung off fora where we could swear. I've been slung without swearing, in any way, shape or form, where it was forbidden.

Frankly? Every minute I spend here. Most posts I make. Every time I get an email from this place? I think; " Oh, aye. Here we go! " I feel like I have bloody great target on my back. And it's just a matter of time. 'Paranoia'? Or a learned reflex? Maybe ask me in a week or two ..... :rolleyes:

I actually have the private email of a mod, on a forum I was slung from. No rhyme or reason given. Just couldn't log in, one day. This Mod' actually Told me, They were out to get me. But, this Mod liked me and was sticking up for me.

All for nothing. My mod was out numbered and over ruled. They told me so, in email. I got slung, without explanation. WTF is That all about?! I'm So tempted to write and as them!

Maybe it's not Me ....?
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
10,565
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
Harsh; Thanks for the reply.

Did ye read all the above?(!) Only, I was really aware, myself, how my last post was so much more laid back than how I started.

Wasn't staged that way. Just me. Nothing's roused me, today, or yesterday. Hence, less of the 'Anger Swearing'.

Out of interest ~ at least to me! ~ That's a point. I'll quietly swear, during the most gentle and laid back conversations. Even with a nun. That's the way I naturally talk.

On fora where only " F**k it! " is allowed? I'm pretty much able to, naturally, fall into the Typing manner where by I adopt that rule. I guess it takes me long enough, to type the sentence in my head, that, by the time I get to the expletive? I'm ready for it.

Here, we're allowed to swear. Thank god! Be a bit tricky, half of us lot being able to express ourselves, in Full Blown mode, and being told to 'keep it down'?! :eek: Like having a major episode in a library, and every idiot going, " SHHHhhhhhh!!!! :mad:". That would end terribly well, wouldn't it?!

I don't know, mate. Perhaps I'm focusing a bit too much on the simple swearing aspect? We can swear freely here ~ Believe me! I checked That before joining! Two requirements: Had to be 'English' and allow swearing! Total waste of time otherwise! Obviously!

But, I've been slung off fora where we could swear. I've been slung without swearing, in any way, shape or form, where it was forbidden.

Frankly? Every minute I spend here. Most posts I make. Every time I get an email from this place? I think; " Oh, aye. Here we go! " I feel like I have bloody great target on my back. And it's just a matter of time. 'Paranoia'? Or a learned reflex? Maybe ask me in a week or two ..... :rolleyes:

I actually have the private email of a mod, on a forum I was slung from. No rhyme or reason given. Just couldn't log in, one day. This Mod' actually Told me, They were out to get me. But, this Mod liked me and was sticking up for me.

All for nothing. My mod was out numbered and over ruled. They told me so, in email. I got slung, without explanation. WTF is That all about?! I'm So tempted to write and as them!

Maybe it's not Me ....?
To be honest, Chris, fuckem :hug:

those forums sound like the internet version of big stinky turds, like a couple i was on :hug:
 
G

GuitarAsTherapy

Member
Joined
Apr 17, 2019
Messages
21
Location
Kansas City, MO
Chris: I was hoping to get to the point in your postings where you tell us that you are a writer.

I write myself--songs and lyrics, and have had some success ($$$).

But I'll tell you one thing, I don't have 1/10 the talent that you have!
 
Chris Walken

Chris Walken

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 28, 2014
Messages
495
Location
Eire
Heh. 'Thanks', GAS. Ye wouldn't be the first to have said similar :redface:

As it happens, this sort of brings us full circle now.

See; I started this thread asking how come I get banned from practically every forum I open my mouth on. Right?

Well, last night, I was talking to a guy who's half my age and has known me a dozen years, and who's spent plenty of time in my company. I asked him, flat out; " WTF is wrong with the way I talk? "

He was edgy as hell about it. Twisting and squirming. Obviously feeling dreadfully conflicted about simply answering a straight question from ~ what I'd hope he considered ~ a friend.

I told him to just spit it out. I was looking for a truth not a line of bullshit!

And, finally, with much agonising and hesitation, he blurted out; " Well ... You are very Direct. Ye tend to say exactly what ye thinking. "

Hold that thought ..... So, I'm 'Direct' and say what I'm thinking? Fucked for a career in politics then! I couldn't bullshit, lie and twist shit if I fucking tried! As he said; " Ye DO rather call a spade a spade. " :eek: No Fucking Shit, Sherlock!!! The fuck am I supposed to call it, these days?!

Jesus christ; I have a Spade in my shed. Right next to my Shovel. I know the difference. I know which to use for what. I've used them all my life. These days? Show a shovel and a spade to most of these kids; Say, " Take ye pick. " They'd have a fucking melt down and demand their 'Safe Space'!

I had a Labrador Dog. Melanin rich coated type. I named him after Guy Gibson of Scampton's Dog. Receptionist, at the vet's asked me his name. I told her. I thought I'd better call medical assistance! She looked like she was having a fucking seizure!

But, there it is. There I am. What they used to call an " Unreconstructed Male " I.e; A Normal bloke who doesn't use fucking moisturisor on his face! Who will look you in the eye, if ye start. Whose further exposure of his simple, normal, working class instilled beliefs, today, would probably see him gone from this place before ye even get a chance to read this!

And, That ~ it seems ~ is exactly where I get shit wrong. The only place I've Ever bowed, on entering, in my entire life has been a DoJo.

Online fora? I like to read a ton of one. Check the stated rules and reg's. Try to get the vibe of the place. Then, if I think it looks the sort of place I'd like being in? I join.

And, Boosh! There I am. New kid on the block. Straight in with the craic. Talking to absolutely everyone like we're old mates. No hesitation. Happy go lucky. And ye can fucking Hear the backs arch and the tails bristle!!!

Happens every time! I'm chatting away. Savage craic with the lads. Diving into every subject. Getting the complimentary PM's from ladies who seem delighted to have found a bloke who don't wear skinny jeans and take longer, getting ready to go out, than her.

Yet, there's always that quiet, background crackle of noses going out of joint!

Every Fucking Time!!!

And, every time, I'll hear the sly, spiteful whispers. Some merchant skulking behind the throne. Hissing and spitting about me. Claws out. Maybe thinking themselves some latter day Rasputin figure?

Only, Grigori Rasputin had a beard like mine. He also bore a certain semblance to an arab donkey, and functioned like a sewing machine. Sort of man that I could look straight in the eye then.

No. The 'Snowflakes' and the 'Mary Whitehouse Appreciation Society' types just can't fucking stomach the attitude of the sort of bloke who knows how to use a rifle.

They'll always prove the better sniper. Smirking, self importantly, from behind their keyboards.

I was born, long ago, in the real world. I'll die, in the real world. The receding, Internet World? Well; Just Look at what they're doing to it.


Incoming!!!!!
 
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