Getting a proper diagnosis. - Trigger warning

PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

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#1
Hi all,

In April I was sent back to the mental health team as I wasn’t coping in the hope that I would get a more full diagnosis and new meds. This is the 3/4 time I have been, each time I go over the years they skim over traumatic events in my life, abuse (mental, physical, sexual), my extreme mood swings, urges to self harm, suicide attempt and so much more. Each time I go I get anything from “mild” anxiety/depression (after a suicide attempt no less) to anxiety, depression and mild agoraphobia on my last time there. My issue is, other than taking my fiancé with me, who is more than willing, do I get these people to listen to me and understand my actual issues and not just down play things and insinuating I’m exaggerating? It’s almost like because my GP 14+ years ago said it sounded like depression and or anxiety but needed a second opinion they’ve just taken it as that and never bothered to look further. Let me explain some symptoms and if anyone could tell me how they pushed for an actual diagnosis on the NHS that would be great!

1) I’m highly emotional and my moods can change in an instant. I can go from happy and smiling to crying hysterically and screaming wanting to hurt myself in moments. If someone near me cries, I cry even if it has nothing to do with me or if I don’t even know them or why they are crying. I have extreme highs and extreme lows that can come out of nowhere. I can also at times feel both happy and depressed at the same time.

2) When it comes to hobbies and likes it’s pretty much all or nothing for me. I’m doing things constantly or nothing at all. E.g gaming till 3/4am or not gaming at all for weeks.

3) I’ve had sleep issues for as long as I can remember including insomnia, night terrors and more. I also have chronic fatigue as part of my fibromyalgia diagnosis.

4) When it comes to being intimate with my fiancé, or precious partners it’s a feast or a famine. No in between.

5) My feelings about my appearance change rapidly. I can start out the day feeling amazing about myself and then by later on I feel fat and ugly.

6) I either talk too much or nearly not at all, in groups, with family etc.

7) I usually need to be doing something. Like in school (when I wasn’t daydreaming) I’d doodle when we were meant to be listening or I was finished my work and waiting on others. I can’t just sit and watch TV, I need to be on my phone, colouring, crochet or something as well.

8) Even when I’m home alone I feel like I’m being judged for everything I do. When I’m out I feel like everyone is looking at and judging me. When I was in school in exams and class even when everyone else was working I felt like they weren’t and we’re watching, talking about and judging me.

9) My attention span and how much I get absorbed in things also varies. I’m either hyper focused or really distracted. Expert at multitasking or can barely handle one task at a time.

I know that’s a lot of info and there’s more I could give, but I just feel it’s not as simple as fibromyalgia with anxiety, depression and mild agoraphobia that it’s fibromyalgia and something more. Something I need help with? It’s as if because I haven’t self harmed in 4 years as I now have a young child in my life, that they dismiss many/most my symptoms even though it takes all my strength not to and I do it in different ways like not taking pain meds, not eating and such.

I’m just at a loss, I want to get help and diagnosed properly but it seems impossible unless I just give in and let myself self destruct and risk loosing access to my step-child (certainly alone)
 
calypso

calypso

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#2
We can't diagnose on a forum like this I'm afraid as we don't really know you. The list has things in it that I wouldn't think were that relevant, but others are worrying. When you say you are hyper happy what do you mean? Can you explain that more? I would say that you need to hone the list down to the essentials of what is mental illness and focus in on that. Look things up on the internet to see what they are interested in reacting to.

If you say you feel depressed, then I fail to see why they ignore you. Look up a depression test on line and see how you score. Look at the signs they are looking for and ask yourself honestly if you have those and tell them those if you do. They have a mental check list in their brains so you need to trigger them with the words that they recognise. That is if you are in fact in a serious depression or not.

Lastly I would suggest that you look into getting some therapy to help you understand what is going on for you. It might help you.
 
PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

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Northern Ireland
#3
Sorry I wasn’t looking for a diagnosis, I was looking for advise on how to get the psychiatrist I’ve been sent to to actually listen to me. He kept twisting my words when I was there last time, saying I didn’t mean what I was saying I actually meant something else. This has happened pretty much every time I’ve been referred to the mental health team here via the NHS. They’ve “corrected” me on what I mean and dismissed what I have actually said.

I’ve done numerous tests accredited by UK Psych organisations and the NHS and beyond. All rate me high for depression, anxiety as well as PTSD among others. All the things I’ve mentioned relate to things in these tests and questions I have been asked by the psychiatrists, psychologists etc over the years. But they all have downplayed what I say and made out I’ve been being melodramatic and making myself out to be worse than I am.

When I say extreme mood swings with extreme highs and lows, I mean exactly that. I get properly giddy and almost childlike to the point it annoys people and can come crashing right down.

Again I am more looking for advise from those who have successfully got diagnosed, gotten the right medication and therapy on the NHS as I’ve been struggling for 14 years or more to do so. (Before anyone says I can’t go private as I cannot afford it, especially living on disability. And outside of private or the NHS I can only get a limited number of free sessions via charities and counsellors)
I don’t know if this is relevant or not to anyone, but I am in my 30s. I’m not a kid myself or anything as I’ve had issues with that before. I do come across as a lot younger than I am though on most occasions
 
PinkCandyFloss

PinkCandyFloss

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#4
I don’t think anyone is really looking at this thread but update: GP listened to me and also thinks there is something more than “just anxiety and depression” and something more deep seeded. Has filed a report to the mental health team and I’m to get my fiancé to phone and see why I’ve not been called back and ask for a change of psych to someone who will listen and take me seriously so fingers crossed
 
S

so sad

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#5
Hi

I really hope that you get this sorted and get a diagnosis that is meaningful and leads to the right treatment.

x
 
C

Confusedandanxious

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#6
Hey. You sound quite similar to me. I also had the same battle of trying to get them to listen to me instead of brushing it off as anxiety and depression.

They listened, agreed, but then still focused on anxiety and depression. It frustrated me until I actually stepped back and looked at the situation from a different perspective.

I could then see that my anxiety is the thing that triggers a lot of my other symptoms. So by focusing on the anxiety and getting that under control, it helps alleviate the other symptoms.

It may or may not be the case for you, but thought I'd share incase it is helpful.

My diagnosis is more than anxiety and depression, but I'm mainly treat for anxiety.
 
T

Trekster33

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#7
It took me 24 years to get my complex PTSD diagnosed and then I had my autism diagnosis taken away a few years later. Your symptoms are very similar to mine and PTSD/cptsd often occurs alongside fibromyalgia. The wild mood swings you're describing and also some childlike behaviours can be a part of cptsd.

But your symptoms also resemble ADHD, bpd, bipolar and autism as well. I'm not a doctor though so I am only basing these on what I've observed and what my friends who have these disabilities experience.

Northern Ireland has a few charities I've just found, lifeline 0808 808 8000 is a crisis line you might try ringing.

'helplines network NI' is another organisation which could bring up a list of helplines you can try in your area.

There's an organisation for carers called 'cause' 0845 60 30 29 1 which is for carers to help with advocacy for other carers.

There's also the mind infoline [email protected] or 0300 123 3393 to ask about help in getting your needs met. They could refer you to an advocacy service in your area. You are not alone we are here with you in a virtual way.

Hope you find someone who can help you. (Sorry most of this post is in bold writing I'm typing on my phone).
 
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