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Gender Ambiguity in Manic States

chesya

chesya

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Sep 9, 2008
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95% of the time I am very comfortable with my male gender and body image, but in some manic states I feel as if I am a woman.

I am comfortable with this, and represent myself as a woman in a lot of my art without it interfering with my basic everyday gender stability.

I wondered if anyone else had fundamental changes in their identity during manic or hypomanic states.
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
I like Jungian ideas concerning the Anima & the Animus

http://www.innerexplorations.com/psytext/anima.htm

Without stereotyping; I am aware of my rational, logical, assertive & aggressive side; as well as a more mysterious, intuitive, emotional & receptive side - or more female aspects to myself as well as the male. Actually I feel quite balanced between both natures or sides to myself. I once did a very in depth assessment, which gauged whether our "thinking" & perception was either more male or more female; the result was exactly bang in the middle of the scale, with 50/50 each way. Maybe there is more "Femininity" within men these days, & more "Masculinity" within women?

I found it interesting what you said about being a male & wanting to have a baby by the woman you fancied. I have wondered what sex would be like from the perspective of a woman/ or being entered - not in a bottom sex way, but with the right bits. I hope that's not too explicit for the forum.

I have felt "like a woman" at certain times in psychotic states. I think gender alteration in perception; is common in ASC's - as everything has the potential to be altered in such states. In all other respects I am very "male". Personally I think you would have to go back at least 250-300 years to find a "real" or typically gender specific male &/or female; I do think the lines have become quite blurred over the past 200 years. I don't know if that is necessarily a good thing?
 
Last edited:
chesya

chesya

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 9, 2008
Messages
86
Location
Cornwall
Yes, I like the Jungian ideas on this too and thanks for the link.

About a year ago I went into a hypomanic phase where I became over-reactive and very irritable. I'd lash out at people and then feel terrible remorse. It felt like depression but I came out into a kind of mania in which I either felt myself or actually believed myself to be a woman.

I crashed out of it when my artwork was recognised on a site where I had previously registered as a man. I wasn't so deluded that I could reprocess the nastiness of people's reactions and I went into depression followed by an unpleasant hypomanic phase leading to a hospitalisation.

Regarding wanting a woman I fancy to be the 'father' of my children, we have or rather had :( a weird realtionship. We erotic role played on the net without specific sex acts but with her as a six inch woman and me a normal sized woman.

I think it's great to be able to explore our gender potential, but I think there's a lot to be said for getting rooted in real life and real life relationships. I hid in the Internet as a refuge from my wife. Now I've left her it's hard getting back into reality. And in reality I'm firmly and clearly a man.
 
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