Gaming and Anxiety

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mikedrums

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Hi everyone. I haven't posted anything on here for a bit, but tonight gave me something to post about. Due to my extreme anger issues I decided to cut out online gaming entire except for a game called warframe. This is because I felt like the player vs player games were inciting my anger too much and ramping up my anxiety. Warframe is a free to play player vs environment game so it's generally less pressure and people on your squad either just play and stay quiet or say something simple like "what mission do you want to do next?" Well that was not the case today. I was doing a mission in this game I'd never done and the game may pair you randomly in the beginning or even mid game. For those who don't know this game can be notoriously cryptic and is often very difficult to figure out. Well I was trying to figure out how to complete the objective for a particular mission and the one person on my squad sent a squad mission sending "wtf are you even doing." Seriously? I just don't understand why everyone has to be an internet warrior and such a jerk while playing games. I've now decided to literally not play any online game at all even player vs environment games unless it is with friends because it is ruining my mental health. It really sucks because the gameplay of warframe is really cool and I enjoy it, but I just can't deal with this unbearable toxic gaming community for literally every single game in existence that can be played online. I'm partly venting, but also it frustrates me that I now have to limit my range of fun just because people have to be extremely mean. How do you deal with this if you're a gamer? Thanks.
 
Hopeful313

Hopeful313

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Hi @mikedrums,

I don’t consider myself a gamer but I love PUBG and Bullet Force. There’s lots of interaction and chats between players.

Either you play solo if your games offer that or just learn to ignore rude players.
 
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Ramson mash

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Hi mike,
I agree that there are many toxic players in the gamer community. Trying to understand them, mostly they are angry because they want to finish an objective etc.
My advice is to actually branch out. Games which require more teamwork have better potential for you to meet positive gamers and enjoy your experience.
Dont isolate yourself if you really dont want to. Just have to remember there are many different types of people out there. Some are rude, abusive, angry but its the friends you make that matter.
So make friends and invest in a good mmorpg.
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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Its a online video game people have problems in life then take it out online vs each other we all do i also have given up all video games not because i dont like playing just because its too much of a escape i want to face my issues and not self isolate
 
Anime-Alchemy

Anime-Alchemy

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Hello,

I know off warframe, since people on my friend's list play it. It's easier said than done, try to ignore rude people and make friend's with the nice ones.
 
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mikedrums

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Hi @mikedrums,

I don’t consider myself a gamer but I love PUBG and Bullet Force. There’s lots of interaction and chats between players.

Either you play solo if your games offer that or just learn to ignore rude players.
Honestly I wish I could ignore them, but I just can't. Maybe it's cause I'm from NJ and there are so many rude people here that confrontation is kind of the culture, but when people say something I almost feel the need to fire back and it just instantly triggers my anger. Warframe does allow you to play all the missions totally solo, but at a certain point they become a lot more difficult and some become nearly impossible by yourself. I play more single player games than online, but I thought this was the one online game that I could play with people and just have fun not worrying about competition and while that may be true there are still people who apparently feel the need to be mean to other players.
 
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mikedrums

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Hi mike,
I agree that there are many toxic players in the gamer community. Trying to understand them, mostly they are angry because they want to finish an objective etc.
My advice is to actually branch out. Games which require more teamwork have better potential for you to meet positive gamers and enjoy your experience.
Dont isolate yourself if you really dont want to. Just have to remember there are many different types of people out there. Some are rude, abusive, angry but its the friends you make that matter.
So make friends and invest in a good mmorpg.
There are way too many toxic gamers. It's actually insane. The increase in popularity of online gaming has just made everyone a douchebag it seems. I'm literally scared to play any online game now because I don't want to trigger my anger, but at the same time I want to be able to play those games because they can be a lot of fun. I don't have many friends that are really into gaming or not the same types of games as me either so that makes it harder. Idk what to do really. I still enjoy my single player games and all, but I hate limiting myself to only that.
 
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EstherRose94

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I would just advise you to try not to take what they say personally. I think that you could have taken it as frustration towards the game instead of towards you and responded with something like “well heck idk what do you think we should do” I understand that the language they used made it sound really angry but maybe it wasn’t.

It’s a generally good skill to learn in life to not assume the worst intentions from others. It’s HARD though I know 🙈
 
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mikedrums

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Its a online video game people have problems in life then take it out online vs each other we all do i also have given up all video games not because i dont like playing just because its too much of a escape i want to face my issues and not self isolate
You're definitely right about people projecting their frustration onto others. I have plenty of issues myself, but when I'm playing a game I'll never do that to someone because I just want everyone to have fun. It really sucks because most of the issues with gaming have nothing to do with the game developers or gameplay it's just the people that ruin everything. I just like to play to have fun and people have almost ruined everything other than single player games for me at this point.
 
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mikedrums

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Hello,

I know off warframe, since people on my friend's list play it. It's easier said than done, try to ignore rude people and make friend's with the nice ones.
It's a tough game to make friends in I think. It's a game where everyone is always trying to get something new and people will often leave squads after a single mission. I've even done it myself sometimes. At this point I'm still deciding whether I want to keep playing it or not. The gameplay is really cool, but I just don't want to run into these kind of people again and playing it solo gets almost impossible at some point due to the increasing difficulty in missions.
 
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mikedrums

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I would just advise you to try not to take what they say personally. I think that you could have taken it as frustration towards the game instead of towards you and responded with something like “well heck idk what do you think we should do” I understand that the language they used made it sound really angry but maybe it wasn’t.

It’s a generally good skill to learn in life to not assume the worst intentions from others. It’s HARD though I know 🙈
I am 100% sure it was malicious intent from this person. Basically the way warframe works is the actual characters are called warframes and there are tons of them with different abilities and playstyles, but the harder to get ones requiring much more gameplay, spending money, or lots of time trading for parts are called prime versions. This person was using a maxed out prime version of a particular warframe, so they were an obvious try-hard type. But yeah I do have a very hard time not taking things personally and when someone is a jerk to me I feel the need to fire back at them. My biggest issue is with anger, so it comes on super fast. I've really had a rough life too and been treated really badly by many people, even supposed friends and family members so it's extremely hard for me not to assume the worst.
 
Anime-Alchemy

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Sounds like a tough game to make friend's in. Is there any other games you could play?
 
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mikedrums

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Sounds like a tough game to make friend's in. Is there any other games you could play?
I play on the switch so the main free to play online games you can play are warframe, fortnite, and paladins. I've tried all of them and I like warframe the most as a game, but idk how to really make friends through online gaming. Like I've made friends from making conversation about gaming, but it's easier to do that in person I think and people can't be keyboard warriors face to face. Also it's a little harder to communicate on the switch than other systems or pc and either way I'm still scared to communicate with people too much like that in fear that my anger will flare up if they decide to be a troll or flat out mean. It's tough.
 
Parayana

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@mikedrums, I'm a hardcore gamer, played Warframe - it's a damned good game. I've switched back to playing on PC rather than Xbox live as there are less arseholes. I mainly play MMOs and I am in a couple of good guilds. We had a guy the other night join and then start spamming chat with abuse because no-one wanted to do pledges in ESO at 2 in the morning, the officers kicked him out straight away. There are definitely a lot of toxic people in the gaming scene. I'm 50 now and have been playing video games since the first machines in the late seventies and it's getting worse. I can't remember what guilds are called in Warframe but find a good one and stick with it.
 
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mikedrums

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@mikedrums, I'm a hardcore gamer, played Warframe - it's a damned good game. I've switched back to playing on PC rather than Xbox live as there are less arseholes. I mainly play MMOs and I am in a couple of good guilds. We had a guy the other night join and then start spamming chat with abuse because no-one wanted to do pledges in ESO at 2 in the morning, the officers kicked him out straight away. There are definitely a lot of toxic people in the gaming scene. I'm 50 now and have been playing video games since the first machines in the late seventies and it's getting worse. I can't remember what guilds are called in Warframe but find a good one and stick with it.
A true OG gamer. It's cool to hear from someone who's been playing for so long and seen the whole evolution of gaming. I'm 28 so I first got into it with stuff like sega genesis and n64. Guilds are just called clans in warframe. Is there anything you do to deal with the idiots and how did you meet the people you play more often with? Also I'm just curious what do you think about how everyone seems to be a keyboard warrior with gaming nowadays? Like I first remember taunting really getting into swing when Halo came out and xbox live first launched and the term "teabagging" became common knowledge. I just don't get it. People still do that to this day even in non-shooting games like super smash ultimate. Makes online play seriously harsh on your mental health sometimes which is why I've started avoiding it more even though it can be fun if everyone is respectful.
 
Parayana

Parayana

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It's just luck that I've fallen in with some good people over the years mike but I look for good recruitment posts on forums usually guilds/clans that say mature gamers, no drama etc. I was ina guild that I played with for seven years in VGSOH the lifespan of the game who recruited me from posts I amde on the official forums. Take a look at the Warframe forums there are some good clan recruitment posts on there.
 
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mikedrums

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It's just luck that I've fallen in with some good people over the years mike but I look for good recruitment posts on forums usually guilds/clans that say mature gamers, no drama etc. I was ina guild that I played with for seven years in VGSOH the lifespan of the game who recruited me from posts I amde on the official forums. Take a look at the Warframe forums there are some good clan recruitment posts on there.
I'll try the forums. Right now I'm just playing solo trying to remind myself why I like playing the game. 7 years huh? That's crazy. Really cool though. Thanks for the advice. I just hate something I love being turned into something that hurts me, so last night really sucked and obviously it wasn't the first time something like that happened. I just want to be able to play when I want to play, have fun, and not worry about people making me feel like I've taken a step back in my mental health recovery.
 

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