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Frustrated

S

SomeGirl15153

Member
Joined
Jun 15, 2020
Messages
21
Location
California
I’m really frustrated because I’m exhibiting signs of ptsd but my psychologist isn’t listening to me and says “I MIGHT have some trauma” and in turn, I’m crying everyday for hours and no one will help me. I’ve basically been suffering for a long time. I was an alcoholic drinking everyday to numb the flashbacks and just recently have been trying to stop because I received 2 DUIs.



This is exactly what happens:

I’ll be going through my day and someone can say something or I can see something on television and it’ll trigger traumatic flashbacks. I start crying uncontrollably and I’ll start re-living what happened



I have flashbacks of me being put on an involuntary hold for a 5150/5250 at the same hospital that I INTERNED AT! My nursing school friends were there working at the same hospital! I was so humiliated!



Then to make matters worse I ended up failing my last class of nursing school and had no way to pay for 180,000$ in student loans.



I have psychosis and I think I have ptsd from my psychosis episodes.



I felt like when I started hearing stuff that I was going to die because I kept hearing these military helicopters and the military men telling me “Go back to the Philippines!” Over and over and over again. I felt like I was going to die because I was so confused with where this was all coming from.



I remember being so confused because I am a U.S. citizen and I was only a year old when I came to the United States and I don’t even remember anything about the Philippines.



I was up all night for weeks trying to figure out where the voices were coming from. I was so confused I was basically trying to take apart cable boxes trying to figure out if the voices were coming from there.



I thought I was a targeted individual and that wearing leather jackets would somehow protect me, that these necklaces I found on eBay would stop the electromagnetic radiation, that wearing silver crosses would somehow protect me and my family.



I was so sick that during the 5150/5250 involuntary hold I refused to take any medication because I believed that the pharmaceutical companies were out to kill everyone because one of my last memories of before I had psychosis were of me studying about the side effects of medication.



my psychologist thinks “I might have some trauma.”



Is she joking?! She’s taking it so lightly when I feel like I really need help.



I feel like I freeze up during my therapy sessions and she doesn’t know the extent of the suffering. I don’t know what to do.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
13,016
Location
England
Hi,
Welcome to the forum
You are very brave sharing your story.
I'm sorry you've been struggling.
I'm also sorry you failed your last class, can you retake when your better?
I used to be a nurse, so I understand.
Hugs
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
2,847
Location
Nashua NH
I’m really frustrated because I’m exhibiting signs of ptsd but my psychologist isn’t listening to me and says “I MIGHT have some trauma” and in turn, I’m crying everyday for hours and no one will help me. I’ve basically been suffering for a long time. I was an alcoholic drinking everyday to numb the flashbacks and just recently have been trying to stop because I received 2 DUIs.



This is exactly what happens:

I’ll be going through my day and someone can say something or I can see something on television and it’ll trigger traumatic flashbacks. I start crying uncontrollably and I’ll start re-living what happened



I have flashbacks of me being put on an involuntary hold for a 5150/5250 at the same hospital that I INTERNED AT! My nursing school friends were there working at the same hospital! I was so humiliated!



Then to make matters worse I ended up failing my last class of nursing school and had no way to pay for 180,000$ in student loans.



I have psychosis and I think I have ptsd from my psychosis episodes.



I felt like when I started hearing stuff that I was going to die because I kept hearing these military helicopters and the military men telling me “Go back to the Philippines!” Over and over and over again. I felt like I was going to die because I was so confused with where this was all coming from.



I remember being so confused because I am a U.S. citizen and I was only a year old when I came to the United States and I don’t even remember anything about the Philippines.



I was up all night for weeks trying to figure out where the voices were coming from. I was so confused I was basically trying to take apart cable boxes trying to figure out if the voices were coming from there.



I thought I was a targeted individual and that wearing leather jackets would somehow protect me, that these necklaces I found on eBay would stop the electromagnetic radiation, that wearing silver crosses would somehow protect me and my family.



I was so sick that during the 5150/5250 involuntary hold I refused to take any medication because I believed that the pharmaceutical companies were out to kill everyone because one of my last memories of before I had psychosis were of me studying about the side effects of medication.



my psychologist thinks “I might have some trauma.”



Is she joking?! She’s taking it so lightly when I feel like I really need help.



I feel like I freeze up during my therapy sessions and she doesn’t know the extent of the suffering. I don’t know what to do.
Hi Somegirl, I’m really sorry you are going through this. In my experience it’s not unusual to be misunderstood by our providers. I have a hard time opening up and communicating with my provider too. I wonder if it might be easier to put into writing your thoughts, experiences and how you are feeling about them and hand the sheet to her. Everything you have written here is very clear to understand and also very scary. In case she has been having difficulty understanding you reading this should make it much easier. I hope this is helpful and that things improve for you soon. xo, j
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
3,383
Location
USA
Hi there @SomeGirl15153

Have you said this to your psychologist?

I think I have ptsd from my psychosis episodes
If not that might be the best thing to do and hear what her response is.

Hugs
 
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