Frustrated with "therapy"

[Astrid]

Had visit with therapist today and am so aggravated I really just need to vent. Have only gone to this person a few times but I get the feeling he doesn't have much interest in helping me. He always seems to want to cut sessions short, probably my own fault since it's very hard for me to talk about my problems, or to talk at all really. Or to even have any eye contact for that matter. I can answer questions but when I'm expected to just "talk" without prompting I just don't know what to say, I just sit there and stare at the wall.
Probably shouldn't have shown him records from my last therapist as I kind of feel I am being written off for having a PD. He wants me to see the psychiatrist there for possible meds but I really hate the idea of medication, I feel like it just masks the problem. Also I know a lot of the meds for MH problems can cause weight gain, if I gained any weight that would only make me more depressed.
I know I need help but I don't know how to get it when I don't even know what I want in this life. I have no goals and no motivation, I just feel like my life is pointless. I want to be "happy" but I don't even know what that really means, much less how to obtain it. I just feel like no one can help me and I'm really frustrated right now. Unfortunately I dont have insurance so looking for another therapist isn't an option, I am stuck going to the state-funded dumps.
Sorry for the long post.

 

[dib4uk]

Awwww sorry to hear that your therapy isnt going too well. The only thing I would suggest is to give it another try, keep at it, and over time it will be easier to talk to a stranger about your problems.

The feelings that you have are perfectly normal to have maybe seeing a psychiatrist would help you, and not all drugs help to put weight on, as a larger woman i said that to my psychiatrist as it also helps my depression along with weight gain.

Also remember that these things takes time, but change can come!

 

[Ainsworth]

Dibs is right in her opinion of try and carry on with therapy if you can.

you sound the same as me, its very hard to talk and i will avoid eye contact but after a time you may just open up. your not comfortable atm, give it abit more time to see if that easies.

if you sit in the room and say nothing or very few words, that is your right to do. therapy like anything needs trust and it has to be built.

i think the worse thing is to feel the therapist isnt interested in your care and that will impact on the rapport between you both.

if they already have the background of you with your PD then they should realise how hard it is for you, sadly (some) therapists are just bad at their jobs. also if you dont want meds then thats fine also. my meds dont help with my PD, helps the depression and other things.
maybe you need a different type of therapy and a psych can help with that. i didnt gain weight with an anti-d but did with a mood stablizer.

good luck