Frightened and due to go back to work

[RainbowChild]

Hi

I have BP and have been off work since a major family event triggered a major depressive episode at the end of July. I work teaching hard to engage 14-19 year olds. I need to get back to work as I am now on half pay and am struggling financially but my problem is I am now having mixed episodes and after a large overdose of my medication just over 2 weeks ago I am still in this mixed state, and feeling emotional and tearful one minute and making jokes the next.

Doctor wanted to sign me off for another spell and I managed to negotiate an appointment for this friday to review things with the idea that I will be fine and will be able to return next Monday.

Now I am in this pickle and don't know if I should just shut up and put up, tell the doc I'm fine but run the risk of not lasting on my return or am I just being stupid. I am scared I will be irritable, anxious, the panic attacks will return I still constantly feel like I could take another overdose all the time I havetaken 4 or 5 in the lat 4 months and I don't hear voices but catch things out of the corner of my eye that aren't there.

Sorry for going on but I don't know what to do.......

 

[mad as a hatter]

i know it must be hard with only bein on half pay but the way i c it ur health comes before ne thing and the fact u have took a few overdoses sugests things r still not right for u

 

[trombone_babe]

Hi, I'm in a similar position having been away from my teaching job for 3 months now, not got to the half pay bit yet but I'm due to go back after Christmas. A friend of mine who had also been in the same position advised me not to go back before fully fit, as he had and had great problems as a result.

When you are fit, maybe you could negotiate a staged return to work? I plan to go right back to observing again with a gradual return to teaching, if I can cope with it.

 

[RainbowChild]

Thanks for your replies, work have said that I can have a staged return. Last night I got myself into a real twist and sometimes I think others think I am making how I feel up.

 

[RainbowChild]

GP appointment in the morning..gonna ask him to sign me back onto work and hopefullyu start back on Monday parttime at first..wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!!