- Dec 20, 2014
My boyfriend broke up with me three months ago because he was suffering from depression and didn't feel he was able to be in a relationship. We had been very happy so it was a difficult sudden blow. I told him I would be there for him but avoided contacting him for a month, to give him space. I realised his depression was not helped by my constant need for contact with him, and I used the time to explore why I felt such deep attachment, and why I couldn't handle the break up very well. After a month I felt clearer and got in touch. We've met up a few times since then, as friends, and he said he really values me as an ally. He clearly cares about me, and I still care about him, but he's going away travelling for 4 months to figure himself out. So I know I just have to be a friend right now. When we're together we're very close, and we both obviously enjoy being together, as friends if nothing more, but when we part ways I have a panic attack. I am short of breath, want to cry, want to be near him again, and cannot work out why I like this. I'm a reasonable and independent person, I don't feel jealous or suspicious of him but this clearly looks like attachment anxiety. We're meeting up one more time before he goes travelling and I just don't know how I will handle that ensuing panic attack. It's taken weeks to get to a therapist via my GP so that won't happen until the new year. I don't want to push this man away by revealing any of my symptoms so am just trying to ride out the feelings alone. How can I get over this?