Friends?

D

drowning-in-myself

Active member
Joined
Dec 1, 2018
Messages
34
Location
UK
#1
I was bullied in high school which meant I had no friends. And I think I was bullied in one of the worst ways.

There was this group of people who pretended to be my friend so that they could bully me without getting into trouble.
So, they would act like friends to my face then say stuff about me behind my back. Has anyone else been bullied like this?

I left high school because my supposed friends made me feel invisible. I tried to make friends in college but that didn't work out. I know because of high school, I've ended up not understanding how friendships work properly.

I would like to have a few friends that I hung out with on the weekends and talked too regularly, like through the week.
I would like to sit with friends without the anxiety and knowing that they actually liked me and wanted to hang out. I'd like my friends to be like-minded and have common interests, y'know like the same music. To have friends that check up on you & stuff like that.

Is that too much to ask for? Do I have a warped few of how friendships should be? Can anyone relate?

p.s. I'm posting this in the depression forum because this is really getting me down and has been for years.
 
Soul_Deeps

Soul_Deeps

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 31, 2017
Messages
151
Location
Germany
#2
I think if you can find true friends you belong to the lucky few.

I am sorry you had / have to endure bullying and loneliness.
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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Dec 26, 2015
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basketville
#3
Sorry that you were bullied. People can be so cruel. Sounds like these individuals didn’t have much about them. people do this when they are insecure.

However to change this it will take a little time do. Self esteem and assertiveness sound like they would be helpful to you. Are there any evening classes or community groups that are doing this in your local area?

I found that you have to start to be c0mfortable in your own skin which then acts like fly repellent to the would be bullies. And to be comfortable in your own skin means starting to learn about things like self esteem and assertiveness
 
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drowning-in-myself

Active member
Joined
Dec 1, 2018
Messages
34
Location
UK
#4
I think if you can find true friends you belong to the lucky few.

I am sorry you had / have to endure bullying and loneliness.
Yeah it does seem like that. Thank you, it's hard, but I guess I've been through worse.
 
D

drowning-in-myself

Active member
Joined
Dec 1, 2018
Messages
34
Location
UK
#6
Sorry that you were bullied. People can be so cruel. Sounds like these individuals didn’t have much about them. people do this when they are insecure.

However to change this it will take a little time do. Self esteem and assertiveness sound like they would be helpful to you. Are there any evening classes or community groups that are doing this in your local area?

I found that you have to start to be c0mfortable in your own skin which then acts like fly repellent to the would be bullies. And to be comfortable in your own skin means starting to learn about things like self esteem and assertiveness
Yes I have really low self-esteem and I literally just looked up 'assertiveness' as I kind of knew what it was but yes if I was more assertive, I'd be able to say what I thought without being overly anxious about it.

I'm extrememly uncomfortable in my skin... I don't if there are any local groups but I could start with self help stuff? Thanks for this reply, it's given me something to think about.
 

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