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Friends self harm escalating...so worried!



New member
Aug 4, 2014
My friend (who I have known for just over a year) has self harmed since I met him.

They self harming used to be fairly superficial, but they are getting steadily worse. About 2 months ago he hurt himself really badly, and last week came round my house with even more serious marks on his arm.

I am beside myself with worry, and I just don't know what to do to help. In the past 5 months our relationship has been more then just friendship, and his SH seems to have gotten worse the more we have bonded. I am concerned that I am triggering it, and that is the last thing I want as I love him very much.

I've tried to talk about it, but he really doesn't want to discuss it. He either tries to be flippant, or tells me he is sorry. I am finding it really hard to deal with as I also self harmed for many years, so been around someone in the throes of it is very triggering for me! You would have thought knowing what he is going though would make it easier for me to deal with, but it is having the opposite effect. I cant stand the thought of him being in so much emotional distress. It is breaking my heart, and any advice anyone can offer on how to proceed would be much appreciated.
Last edited by a moderator:
Toasted Crumpet

Toasted Crumpet

Feb 11, 2013
under the Forum Troll bridge
Hi Fallingstar,

I am really really sorry you have not had a reply to your post.

You sound like you care very much about your friend, and I can see how it must be distressing seeing someone you care for hurt themselves.

I'm afraid I don't have any advice to give you other than to support him and encourage him to get help, but also to make sure you take care of yourself, which might mean you need some boundaries so that you are not getting triggered yourself.

I hope someone else will see this and be able to offer you their advice.