Friends, Family and Support

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gam9147

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
150
Location
Delaware, USA
#1
I'm curious how many close folks in your life do you have, that you are comfortable enough sharing your anxiety with? Up until recently I worked very crazy long hours and so I didn't have much in my life outside of my mom and my wife, I have friends but none very close, and a lot of my friends are virtual I know from online games. My wife also has mental health issues so sometimes she will withdraw from me and she doesn't handle my anxieties that great if I'm having an attack etc I kind of have to deal with it myself.

My therapist had identified this as a potential area that I guess politely 'needs improvement' in my life, but of course its not easy to make friends, and I have some (way more minor than folks here probably) social anxieties, specifically around being far from home or with large groups of people with few or no bathrooms. So all of these reasons have made it so I have fewer friends than I used to, and I put a lot more into my close relationships with my mom and my wife. Don't have any kids or pets atm, so our family unit is pretty insulated.

As soon as I talked about this, it threw me into a series of anxiety attacks for a week or so still potentially ongoing. I'm not even sure why, Maybe its shoulding? I should go out more I should be more social etc etc.

Sometimes I feel better feeling like I'm more normal, and I know many of us have are not social buffer-flies given our problems. What feel's "normal" to you with friends and supports?
 
somedaymaybe

somedaymaybe

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Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
208
Location
Australia
#2
I don't have any friends, and haven't since I was fourteen years old and I'm now an adult. I guess like you, I've had "friends" online, but they only lasted a certain period of time and typically I don't think virtual friendships are the best case for people with social anxiety; it doesn't exactly encourage us to go out and meet people in person.

For me, I had support from my therapist, parents, and now from my partner who also has experiences with anxiety. I think my biggest supporters are my Dad and partner; their support, if and when I need it, is enough for me. Of course it'd be nice to be able to have a friend or friends that I can be comfortable enough with, where they accept my anxiety and what comes with it, but I accepted a long time ago that it wasn't going to happen and have just found a way to be grateful for the support I do receive from loved ones.
 
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gam9147

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
150
Location
Delaware, USA
#3
Thank you for responding, that's a great attitude to have and I think we can all learn from you! Definitely need to work on being grateful.

Therapists don't always seem to think virtual relationships areas good as in person ones but I've found differently in many cases, the online game community is very collaborative just like if you were on a sports team, voice chats and what not, I think its a 'reasonable' substitute for those who have more trouble in person or are just more physically isolated due to geography.
 
somedaymaybe

somedaymaybe

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Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
208
Location
Australia
#4
I definitely agree that virtual friendships are a nice substitute. People online have helped me immensely with a lot of things in life, and other times it was just nice to talk about everything and anything. But I don't believe that we should feel the need to rely on it; we need to find more reasons to face the social anxiety, because being online isn't going to do that unfortunately.
 
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gam9147

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
150
Location
Delaware, USA
#5
Oh absolutely I feel we should face our phobias and I certainly have, but having moved around a lot, a lot of my friends are hours away from me or sometimes further, so 'in person' isn't as much of an option a lot of times. Doesn't mean I don't go out and do things but that's different than establishing new physical friendships especially if you are (like me) middle aged and are self employed so there aren't as many frequent interactions with the same people.
 
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gam9147

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Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
150
Location
Delaware, USA
#6
I'm really curious anyone else feel like sharing their coping techniques with regard to support? Do you deal with anxiety issues / panic attacks on your own or do you use a significant other, parent, friend? or both?
 
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Jules5

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Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
415
Location
Florida
#7
I have severe psychosis. I deal mostly with myself on panic attacks. I have a great bonding family but I do not get along with them right now. Just my mum. I have another friend of 35 years and she is Psychotic too. Just she does not know it.

I had a great life earlier and then all at once I fell apart-shortly after I was robbed and injuried-surgery and all.

I was on my mental meds when I was robbed and then they prescribed pain killers meds. I went crazy with the combination. Have not been right at all since.

I started drinking alcohol again after 7 years of no alcohol. Alcohol seems to curb the side effects from meds and isolation.

Sure wish I could help others as I am dying here.
 
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gam9147

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
150
Location
Delaware, USA
#8
thanks for sharing, your at least helping me with some perspective if nothing else. But do take care of yourself. I don't know your whole story but it sounds very overwhelming and I am not sure I'd be any different than you in your situation.
 
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Remo

New member
Joined
Feb 23, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Atlanta, GA
#9
I have found therapy in developing an exercise habit. It represents personal time where i am able to not only think and gain perspective, but also get a boost from endorphins and the self confidence that comes with improved body composition. I also recommend checking out Robert Green's book The Law's of Human Nature, specifically chapter 8 on attitude. May seem simple but it has helped me tremendously.
 
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Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
415
Location
Florida
#10
thanks for sharing, your at least helping me with some perspective if nothing else. But do take care of yourself. I don't know your whole story but it sounds very overwhelming and I am not sure I'd be any different than you in your situation.
I want to thank you for knowing and feeling how overwhelmed I really was.

It would of helped so much during these down times to have a refreshing connection with someone. I am glad I found this site as I need these affirmations.

It is kinda like a dog eat dog world. If you feel weak at anytime you will get ate up....hugs
 
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gam9147

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 18, 2019
Messages
150
Location
Delaware, USA
#11
It does help to know others are going through what your going through (and right now even!). Sometimes you forget that even going to a therapist or talking to others that care but they may not know exactly what it feels like.

Exercise does help, I would highly recommend that to everyone as well. I was just curious about how many 'anxiety support' people most folks had, since I feel deficient in this area and other's I've talked to without anxiety disorders seem to have a better handle on this, but it feels off to me... you don't want to lay your anxieties on people you don't know very closely.. or at least to me it feels that way.