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Freindship must be nice

B

bebe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 4, 2008
Messages
284
Friendship is something i use to have but have no more this is because of my MI as i do not trust any one i meet i do not have friends maybe this is quiet bizarre to some of you people out there but not to me and i am guessing i am not the only one who is like this on these forums.

It must be so wonderful to have a close friend who you have known a while and who is so trusting that you can confide in this friend and tell them that you have a MI without them judging you or not being able to understand why you speak or act the way you do. So if you have a friend like this in your life who understands and helps you in life to me you are more lucky than some one who wins the big lottery
Love to you all
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
You will find that you are not alone bebe here at mhf there are alot of people with your experiences, we all find the issue of trust the most difficult one I do believe when you have mi its bloody difficult making friends but it can happen. Take care JD
 
starflower

starflower

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 26, 2009
Messages
418
Yes I agree, but sadly I haven't been able to make any.

Trusting anyone seems so difficult, even those who are helping me with my problems. I had the same CPN for 17yrs and she had to retire due to ill health, it was like loosing my best friend. They replaced her with a support worker, who I see weekly and it was easier her to trust her because she was also a friend of my old CPN and had the same views on the services the mental health team provide. My new CPN a guy, I never see, thank goodness. I saw him once, only because I have to have one as a care co-ordinator.

Before I became ill, I thought I had friends, but they slowly disappeared as the illness progressed !! :(:(
 
T

Tell me I was dreaming

Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2010
Messages
19
Location
Paisley, Scotland
I can relate to that, anyone I've ever trusted has seemed to hurt me, it makes it near impossible to trust anyone new and its almost got me to the point that I simply dont care anymore, how can I? when you see it failing before its started it kinda makes it hard to start, if you know what I mean,
 
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bebe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 4, 2008
Messages
284
Yep i understand everybody replies TRUST is something a person who has a MI finds hard to deal with you never know who to TRUST i do not trust my CPN hence why i break appointments with her she seems over nice if u know what i mean and i hate the writing down she does every time i say something, its nervy and puts me on edge.
I am in my house every day now because i then do not have to put up with the laughing and talking whisper i hear whilst i am out , my doc says its not real but how the heck would she know,,,,,,
 
S

starfish

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2009
Messages
655
Location
country cottage
friends

the last thing i said to my care worker was,:( i wish i had some friends. i have always found it difficult to make friends. dont really know what to do about it.
 
sallyG

sallyG

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 4, 2009
Messages
1,693
Location
Essex England
i find it hard to make friends also..its down to the trust issue again..very few people in this world i trust.
 
Q

quality factor

Guest
I agree with sally and the others, the trust issue is difficult. I thought I had good friends in my workplace, worked with them and got to know them very well over a twenty year period, but soon as I started having mental health issues they dropped off one by one. One colleague has stuck by me all the way and has been a true friend, I think , because she has true understanding of my problems ,having had similar issues herself.
Its the same on here ...friends we make have the understanding.

qf.
 
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Baz

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2010
Messages
48
Location
Torfaen, South Wales
Oooh I have some so called friends like that, you know the types that want to know when it suits them, but when it doesn't they go all quiet on you?

Grown up around users, so i'm quite selective on things now.
 
N

NrLondonGuy

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 3, 2010
Messages
163
Location
Nr London
Yes it really difficuly. Many people with serious mentle health issues often end up alone both because world is scored of them of doesn't/doesn't want to undertsand you. Poeple don't undertsand that all you crave is that company - someone to snuggle up on the spofa with kind of thing or just poeple to talk to

I have lost many friends over years and only have 2 left now but will make an effort to make more when better. A lot got scared oof I think which I feel wasa bit unkind as I am not scarey. One thing that's helped which I read on lonlyness website is that you have to learn the different roles of people then it s easier to make friends and develop and maintain those friendsships. When you feel or are alone you can expect one person to fill every role you feel you are missing then this can overwelm people and they run off. Everyone has a different role. Girlfirend: emotional, friendship and obviously thats the closest role. One friend can be teh one who you can talk to about OCD, another one the one you talk about life problems with but tey don't undertsand OCD, other thats just company and you talk about anything to but not MH, other who is that perosn you just meet up with fo a coffe every now and then and so on. Another may be that person you meet at art groups and doesn't even know you have a MH problem but its still some good company which is better then nothing. If you pile all your feelings and desperaiton to share your life with in one person you can over burden taht perosn and tey run away. Great like first post if you do have a friend like taht who undertsand EVRYTHING and you can talk to about EVERYTHING. Poeple like that can be hard to come by though.
 
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B

bebe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 4, 2008
Messages
284
the last thing i said to my care worker was,:( i wish i had some friends. i have always found it difficult to make friends. dont really know what to do about it.
Hi Starfish,
I have ask for you to be my forum friend i hope this is ok we may not have any friends out there but maybe we could be friends on this forums.:)
 
S

starfish

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 15, 2009
Messages
655
Location
country cottage
friends

hello bebe i havent been on the forum for a few days, have been unwell. i would like to be your friend on here, what do i have to do?:clap:
 
greebobeebo

greebobeebo

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
1,027
Location
north norfolk
I don't do friends because any I have ever had have disappeared on me. Not always through their own fault but still they go. Makes me feel like I'm wearing the wrong deodorant
 
Gail

Gail

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
272
Location
In la la land
i could have writtern the first post in this tread myself I have one friend and thats it, shes been there for me though thick and thin . I dont relate to people at all I dont get on with people i never know wot to say to them i dont do small talk i dont do people at all i worry about saying the wrong thing all the time The list goes on. Its only online that i can say wot i feel
 
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