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Freaking out 😭 is this really OCD????

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Logo102110

New member
Joined
Dec 20, 2021
Messages
1
Location
Chicago
Hi guys.. I’ve always been told to face uncertainty when it comes to OCD…. Months ago I started to have intrusive thoughts about harming myself and others… it got so bad that I had severe urges to hurt myself and others but I didn’t want to at all. I was on and off meds for a few months. Now the thoughts came back with a vengeance.. I have visuals of harming myself or whoever is near me repeatedly.. . it is never towards anybody specific…. These urges are scaring me…I feel like I’m going to act out on it but I don’t want to… it is so severe. I could be standing next to my boyfriend and just have the terrible urge to hurt him.. 😭😭😭😭 Why is this happening? I was in the hospital once… they just told me harm ocd… I can’t do this I’m going crazy… 😭 anybody else have similar stories ?? One day I woke up and they appeared out of nowhere
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
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Nov 10, 2019
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13,312
Location
England
I used to think that it was good to be scared by these thoughts because that is what stops us doing them. Many people, maybe all people, have a fleeting thought of doing something they must not do, whether it be stripping off naked, a quick silly thought, what would happen if i...

There are worse ones of course. It is good they upset us. Maybe your thoughts have become stuck for some reason?
 
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BlueWater

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Joined
Jul 29, 2021
Messages
876
Location
Earth
Your thoughts are stuck because of OCD. It's a loop we get stuck in. We get an intrusive thought but unlike other people who can quickly let go of a thought, we can't. We then begin to assume that we are the worst person ever, that we must do everything we can to prevent harming ourselves or others even if that means hiding the scissors, knives, etc. so that we do not do something spontaneously. My OCD is more mental and less outwardly obvious. I don't hide anything from myself. But the thoughts directed at me are very real and bothersome lately. I saw a video that said one of the best things we OCDers can do is learn to be a friend to ourselves, to be kind to ourselves. We put the weight of the world on our shoulders and spend our lives proving that we are not thieves, murderers, drug addicts, untrustworthy, etc. The only thing I know to tell you to do right now is to distract yourself when the thought arises. When the thoughts arise, go do something positive for you: go to the gym, call a friend, eat a treat, dedicate yourself to a hobby that engrosses your mind. That's CBT talking and it only works so well. ERP is supposed to be the gold standard for conquering OCD. If you can find an ERP therapist, that might be best for you.
 
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Ocean117

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 12, 2022
Messages
50
Location
Australia
@Logo102110 100% use to happen to me all the time ! It’s so natural as it your thinking so hard all the time about not wanting to do something your body will make you feel as though u want to do it to get rid of it ! But you don’t actually want to do the thing and it’s like a false feeling. It’s like if I said don’t think about something and you naturally want to think about it but you might not actually want to think about the content . The urges can hence happen in any situation that you are scared of ! :) it went away for me when I stopped worrying about them
 
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Ocean117

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 12, 2022
Messages
50
Location
Australia
Also anybody would have this same response if you try so hard and worry so much about doing something . It’s like your mind makes you feel the opposite ! You won’t do anything bad and your in control best to let the urge sit and think snout something else ! I don’t know if you’ve noticed but the more anxious you are the stronger the urge feels . It’s like if I tell someone not to stick the finger up and it’s their worst fear they will feel like sticking the finger up ( although if you do that urge that’s fine ahhah ) but you’ll realise it doesn’t help
 
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