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Freaked Out Today

R

rheasmum

New member
Joined
Aug 25, 2021
Messages
1
Location
Glasgow, UK
I'm at such a scary point in my life right now. Last month I had a baby girl who tragically passed away and now we are living with my boyfriends parents who do not understand my agoraphobia, and they're concerned that their son is with me.

So with that in mind, and the fact that I want to make my girl proud, I'm really trying to fight this. This morning I went out for the first time on my own - granted it was a taxi to the dentists which is an 8 minute walk away - but I did it and was fine at my appointment. Coming back home on a high, I said to my partner we should go do something fun - bowling.

So we go to a bowling alley that I went to once some years ago and for the first game everything was fine. I was sweating a lot because it was hot, and did have horrible thoughts about how I looked etc but I managed to swipe them away. Then I realised that they hadn't delivered the juice I ordered to us with our food, so I went to go and get it - and half way on my way to the bar, the panic kicks in.

I froze. I went back to our alley and did some breathing with my partner. For a few minutes it seemed like it might be manageable... but then it REALLY hit me. I ended up sitting on the floor, feeling like I was going to pass out and telling my partner that all I felt was terror and that I was going to die. I had no idea how I'd make it back outside to get a taxi but I ended up just running out with some panic freezes mixed in.

I'm so sick of being like this. It makes me hate myself, and I get scared that my boyfriend will just leave me in the end because of it. I feel hopeless. Can this get better?!?!
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
12,113
Location
England
:welcome:
I'm sorry you have had such a terrible time lately and that you have these symptoms now that are making life very difficult. Have you discussed it with your nurse/doctor? Going through times of high stress or upset or traumatic experiences, can affect our mental health so much. You will get better, you just need to know what to do and maybe some help.

Would it help to call the nurse/doctor?
 
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