- Jan 31, 2021
If we do something to harm or upset somebody, I don't think we should say, "Oh, please forgive me!" Instead, we should say, "Don't forgive me!", or words to that effect. Because by begging for forgiveness, we're actually validating the wrong thing that we did. If we were genuinely contrite, we'd want punishment of some kind, not forgiveness. Forgiveness is like the person saying, "It's all right, you didn't do anything wrong." If we get that message, we go on our way happily, but without having made amends. If we're conscientious people, we will later suffer even deeper regret. And that can lead to self harm, I think.