Forgive me?

[Iceblock]

If we do something to harm or upset somebody, I don't think we should say, "Oh, please forgive me!" Instead, we should say, "Don't forgive me!", or words to that effect. Because by begging for forgiveness, we're actually validating the wrong thing that we did. If we were genuinely contrite, we'd want punishment of some kind, not forgiveness. Forgiveness is like the person saying, "It's all right, you didn't do anything wrong." If we get that message, we go on our way happily, but without having made amends. If we're conscientious people, we will later suffer even deeper regret. And that can lead to self harm, I think.

 

[Tl24Nz]

everyone sorry deserves forgiveness.

 

[Iceblock]

Well, yes, and I'm not saying that they don't, TI24Nz ... if they're genuinely sorry. But by the same token, if they're genuinely sorry, they may not necessarily feel better when they get forgiveness. Simply receiving forgiveness is not always as beneficial to the person's conscience and mental health as making amends is. That's the point I'm making.