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Forever fearing the worst case scenarios

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Adroberts4816382

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2021
Messages
21
Location
West Midlands
Hi everyone,

Relatively new here, but I am really struggling with mental health and the fear of worst case scenarios (see other posts of mine)

Does anyone else suffer with this? I invent a scenario in my head, of something that could have happened and then obsess over it, and worry myself silly.

latest theme is previous mad nights out and sexual partners etc, mad one night stands that I have hazy memories of

Feeling like I’m a bad person for this.

anyone feel similar?
 
jajingna

jajingna

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3,685
Location
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I guess you know this anyway, but sounds like you are "catastrophizing" things, a common cognitive distortion. We all do it sometimes. Fear and anxiety can make things seem awful. Chances are they aren't that bad really, that's why they call it a distortion.

Why would you be a bad person for having a one night stand? There's nothing wrong with those, in my opinion.

First we need to be calm somehow. So hard to do when anxiety takes over. I get a lot of it too and it takes practice to calm down. I try to remind myself 'I'm safe' and nothing bad is actually happening, just the feelings and thoughts are shitty, but no bad events are taking place and I am in no danger. No one has been hurt. Nothing bad will happen. Mine is more about social anxiety, so this stuff helps me cope with that. I've had obsessive thoughts too. Ugh.

Maybe something like this can help diminish the "catastrophe" -- you have done nothing wrong, you're not a bad person.
 
manicmonday

manicmonday

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When this happens to me I remind myself that it's all just in my imagination and I don't need to be afraid of that. I'm yet to have a worst case scenario come true despite the time I've spent obsessing over them.
 
A

Adroberts4816382

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2021
Messages
21
Location
West Midlands
I guess you know this anyway, but sounds like you are "catastrophizing" things, a common cognitive distortion. We all do it sometimes. Fear and anxiety can make things seem awful. Chances are they aren't that bad really, that's why they call it a distortion.

Why would you be a bad person for having a one night stand? There's nothing wrong with those, in my opinion.

First we need to be calm somehow. So hard to do when anxiety takes over. I get a lot of it too and it takes practice to calm down. I try to remind myself 'I'm safe' and nothing bad is actually happening, just the feelings and thoughts are shitty, but no bad events are taking place and I am in no danger. No one has been hurt. Nothing bad will happen. Mine is more about social anxiety, so this stuff helps me cope with that. I've had obsessive thoughts too. Ugh.

Maybe something like this can help diminish the "catastrophe" -- you have done nothing wrong, you're not a bad person.
thank you for your response, I think my obsession comes from the fact that the night I’m remembering was never meant to be a one night stand, it started as just a shared taxi ride home, but then the girl in question didn’t want to carry on in the taxi without me (my stop was first) and she ended up staying with me

She instigated things and to be honest I didn’t really want to but being naive, 18 and carefree I just let the whole thing carry on.

I look back and worry about her making a complaint against me, accusing me of horrible taboo things, even though I know most of it was her

It’s just worrying about the absolute worst case possible, this was about 12/13 years ago so I would have no idea who she even is now!

all it takes is for me to see something horrible in the news and it triggers me :-(

It’s the fear of what could be said instead of the actual act itself
 
A

Adroberts4816382

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2021
Messages
21
Location
West Midlands
When this happens to me I remind myself that it's all just in my imagination and I don't need to be afraid of that. I'm yet to have a worst case scenario come true despite the time I've spent obsessing over them.
Likewise, ive worried over kids being abducted, being accused of things, getting sacked, lots and lots of stuff and it’s nearly always turned out to be a huge waste of energy

But my latest worry/scenario is so taboo that it’s horrible
 
A

Adroberts4816382

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Joined
Feb 14, 2021
Messages
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Location
West Midlands
I hear ya. I've been saddled with memory/fantasy obsessions a long time, some of the events are years ago
Do you have similar obsessions? It’s an awful feeling, because I haven’t attacked anyone! And I never would, I’ve never even been in a physical fight or anything ever!
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Do you have similar obsessions?
Well, not like yours really, in content, as of course I have different memories. But how much does the damn content matter? Not much I reckon. It's the freaking anxiety is the problem. That's how I see it. If you can fix your anxiety the obsessive thinking will ... maybe not just go away just like that ... but be less often and less intense over time perhaps. (maybe)
 
A

Adroberts4816382

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Joined
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Messages
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West Midlands
Well, not like yours really, in content, as of course I have different memories. But how much does the damn content matter? Not much I reckon. It's the freaking anxiety is the problem. That's how I see it. If you can fix your anxiety the obsessive thinking will ... maybe not just go away just like that ... but be less often and less intense over time perhaps. (maybe)
Of course, I just meant as in obscure worries, I’ve worried about the kids being kidnapped, me becoming sick, losing my job, accused of things, all sorts, and it’s all based on very little at all, but it still feels real.

Thank you for your kind words
 
P

prsn

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Of course, I just meant as in obscure worries, I’ve worried about the kids being kidnapped, me becoming sick, losing my job, accused of things, all sorts, and it’s all based on very little at all, but it still feels real.

Thank you for your kind words
Hi,
Sounds really like it is a difficult time for you at the moment has anything happened in your day to day life recently that might have triggered higher than normal (remember normal is different for us all) levels of anxiety? I always find my mind races through lots of bad stuff when my own anxiety levels are high, but have often found once I can identify what it is I am really anxious about it can help releave some of this. Often this identification process just means taking a step back and working out what it is that has changed recently in my life or what I perceive as having changed even! it can be something small or something big, but is often something connected to a change from the 'normal' day to day routine for me. Hope this helps atb
 
A

Adroberts4816382

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2021
Messages
21
Location
West Midlands
Hi,
Sounds really like it is a difficult time for you at the moment has anything happened in your day to day life recently that might have triggered higher than normal (remember normal is different for us all) levels of anxiety? I always find my mind races through lots of bad stuff when my own anxiety levels are high, but have often found once I can identify what it is I am really anxious about it can help releave some of this. Often this identification process just means taking a step back and working out what it is that has changed recently in my life or what I perceive as having changed even! it can be something small or something big, but is often something connected to a change from the 'normal' day to day routine for me. Hope this helps atb
Yes it does make sense, it’s always worst case scenarios that I worry about, and I focus on the negative points of things rather than the reality, if it’s of no risk I don’t spend time on it, I invent scenarios that don’t exist and then worry about them
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
293
Location
Orleans vermont.
Hi everyone,

Relatively new here, but I am really struggling with mental health and the fear of worst case scenarios (see other posts of mine)

Does anyone else suffer with this? I invent a scenario in my head, of something that could have happened and then obsess over it, and worry myself silly.

latest theme is previous mad nights out and sexual partners etc, mad one night stands that I have hazy memories of

Feeling like I’m a bad person for this.

anyone feel similar?
I do that all the time. Its super annoying honestly. If someone is a minute late i think they died in some asteroid impact or something. I worry if someone is not in earshot because they might fall. I wont play my volume loud in case someone is sneaking into my house and i cant hear them. I come up with strange things.
 
A

Adroberts4816382

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2021
Messages
21
Location
West Midlands
I do that all the time. Its super annoying honestly. If someone is a minute late i think they died in some asteroid impact or something. I worry if someone is not in earshot because they might fall. I wont play my volume loud in case someone is sneaking into my house and i cant hear them. I come up with strange things.
Yeah, I’ve come up with bizarre scenarios all my life, it’s awful, and recently I’ve connected these whacky scenarios to real life events which makes it harder to see past them
 
E

EclipticNight

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Joined
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Messages
293
Location
Orleans vermont.
Its crazy what kind of strange stuff we come up with. I've had some doozies too. Once i had this huge kidnapping thing with a girlfriend, i was so onto it i was arming up to go find her ala the movie taken. It was however before that movie came out. Even had aliens once.my logical mind keeps saying "aliens!? Whats more likely, aliens took her or her phone died?" But it just happens anyway and ill obsess until whatever im obsessing over is fixed.
 
A

Adroberts4816382

Member
Joined
Feb 14, 2021
Messages
21
Location
West Midlands
Its crazy what kind of strange stuff we come up with. I've had some doozies too. Once i had this huge kidnapping thing with a girlfriend, i was so onto it i was arming up to go find her ala the movie taken. It was however before that movie came out. Even had aliens once.my logical mind keeps saying "aliens!? Whats more likely, aliens took her or her phone died?" But it just happens anyway and ill obsess until whatever im obsessing over is fixed.
Certainly is, the hardest bit for me is that I’m worried about how a 1 night stand feels about what happened, (she instigated things towards me, but we were both drunk)

but to your point, because i have no idea who this person is now I will never know which means I can’t make the obsession “over” if that makes sense
 

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