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Forever alone 💔 😢

dustin001

dustin001

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
79
Location
fort wayne, indiana
Most of my 34 years in this life I have suffered. I do try to keep in mind others have and do suffer worse than me. I'm thankful that the few blessings suffering has afforded me with empathy and compassion for others.

But it's also made it hard to continue on each day. I sit here as a type this crying all alone on this dark cold sunday evening. Once again realizing I'm alone and I'm cursed to be forever alone.

God why have you cursed me the burden of falling in love with married women. And the one that did turn to relationship why couldn't I have just been happy instead of letting my demons take over.

I hate myself everyday. Cursed knowing as the days go by I suffer forever alone.
 
M

Mister_Fabulous formerly BetaMale

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2018
Messages
1,389
Location
India
Well, you won't be alone on this forum; you'll get lots of support. But leave married women alone; you don't want trouble from their husbands.
 
G

Gia Kaysen 02360

Member
Joined
Nov 5, 2020
Messages
23
Location
Massachusetts
You won’t be alone forever. But I know that feeling that you’re just born cursed. Or different from everyone else. It’s not fair I know that’s how I feel. but just keep trying your best that’s all you can do.
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,849
I sit here as a type this crying all alone on this dark cold sunday evening. Once again realizing I'm alone and I'm cursed to be forever alone.
Yeah I have this thought a lot. I have that exact same feeling of being cursed, in this exact same way. Over and over. I push people away, I over think, I think and I don't live, I blame myself, I miss opportunities. The cycle continues.

But through all of this, the thing I learnt MUCH too late is, although the feeling is it's a curse, the reality is this:
People who actually get to be in the relationships they want, have one thing in common: determination. They are determined to get who they want and make it work, they don't sabotage themselves, they invest themselves fully. They don't let their insecurities get the better of them.
Prophecies and deep-seated internal beliefs about whether you deserve to be loved and deserve to be happy: These are self-fulling.

Also another big thing: People tend to gravitate towards each other, when they are mirroring eachother, in terms of their headspace. Like if you are in a bad place somehow you also find some relationship that is bad.
One person sucks the life out of the other; or both parties do so. Toxic relationships begin like this. Just one thing to bear in mind.
 
dustin001

dustin001

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 6, 2020
Messages
79
Location
fort wayne, indiana
Well, you won't be alone on this forum; you'll get lots of support. But leave married women alone; you don't want trouble from their husbands.
While my illness has no boundaries, I personally do. But that isn't the issue. I don't make moves as I know I deserve to suffer and be forever alone.
I had a chance at a real relationship and i couldn't keep my demons in check and fucked it up.
I've given up on any relationships.

I'm the fucking stepping stone for people that are looking for the better healthier relationship because I'm a fuck up.
 
G

Gia Kaysen 02360

Member
Joined
Nov 5, 2020
Messages
23
Location
Massachusetts
I wouldn’t say give up on relationships but mabe take a break is a better term. Work on yourself, learn something new, go someplace exciting, or just do something that makes u happy (something that’s not self destructive) when you focus on your self you get into a better mental state. Make you number 1 because that’s all you got. Trust me people will come and go all the time but you’ll always have yourself
 
G

Gia Kaysen 02360

Member
Joined
Nov 5, 2020
Messages
23
Location
Massachusetts
I also forgot to mention I’m going through something similar. Every time I get a friend I always feel like some how someway I mess it up. They get distant. I want to have friends but I don’t want to be disappointed by every little move they make or don’t make, I’m tired of putting my effort in and they don’t do the same. I’m still deciding on to try and make friends or just give up because I’m always disappointed. Idk 🤷‍♀️
 
Until

Until

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 11, 2020
Messages
271
Location
uk
Most of my 34 years in this life I have suffered. I do try to keep in mind others have and do suffer worse than me. I'm thankful that the few blessings suffering has afforded me with empathy and compassion for others.

But it's also made it hard to continue on each day. I sit here as a type this crying all alone on this dark cold sunday evening. Once again realizing I'm alone and I'm cursed to be forever alone.

God why have you cursed me the burden of falling in love with married women. And the one that did turn to relationship why couldn't I have just been happy instead of letting my demons take over.

I hate myself everyday. Cursed knowing as the days go by I suffer forever alone.
My theory is those in get involved with married people don't want commitment or are scared of it, or can't handle it. or have low self esteem where they think if they can get someone to leave their married partner then they are better than the married partner and it boosts their self esteem but just for a short while.
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,849
My theory is those in get involved with married people don't want commitment or are scared of it, or can't handle it. or have low self esteem where they think if they can get someone to leave their married partner then they are better than the married partner and it boosts their self esteem but just for a short while.
Yeah they do probably believe they are "better" than the married partner and get a boost from it.

I think that some people enjoy the whole challenge of "mate poaching". Also they often believe that the married person would leave their partner for them, but that doesn't end up happening in the end in many cases.
 
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