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forcing myself to eat

lonelyclove

lonelyclove

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 9, 2020
Messages
203
Location
south europe
i have always been a picky eater and there was a big part of.my.childhood where eating was literally such a disgusting thing for me to do. something that would make me feel dirty and depressed. but when i hit puberty or a bit after it started becoming an emotional grounding ritual. i did it in a place i felt safe with people i felt safe with and it was a way to forget my traumatizing day at school. however when i hit 20s it just went out of proportion. i think it started with my stomach making loud noises in high school and it gave me panic attacks so i started overeating thinking it would prevent my stomach problems. when i went to university i already knew i had a problem and i couldnt eat in front of people anymore. this kept me in fear all the time for the stomach reasons and for the social anxiety of the whole thing and around a time people already knew i had a problem and were actually laughing and gossiping about me. little after i dropped out because i was just so overwhelmed since i already have so many other problems. of course my family didnt understand or care. they dont even know anythung about me. even if i try to explain them 50 times. the thing is before i dropped out or around the time i started binge eating like crazy (i was already overeating) but then it went insane. dont know the reason tbh. but i still feel very sick even tho i eat a lot less now i still overeat a little. and im just concerned in general
 
D

DC1

Active member
Joined
Dec 12, 2019
Messages
38
Location
England
There is nothing wrong with eating by ourself. Try drinking a little cider or wine for your digestion.
 
lonelyclove

lonelyclove

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 9, 2020
Messages
203
Location
south europe
oh gosh winee never grosss lol but 7up is a good idea? haha xp
 
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