Food addicted.

[feather423]

I always feel like my addiction isn't as tragic as drug addictions. But the truth is...my addiction to food is killing me. I can't tell if I'm addicted to food itself or if I'm addicted to eating. or how it feels when I'm eating.
I've had an eating disorder since I was 13. I am 38 now, and I can only in the last few years admit to myself that It IS an addiction. Ican't stop. I find myself in a constant battle in my own head all day long. and if I am in a situation where I am tempted.... I get physically affected. Like, at a church group where they have desserts spread out on a table. I have decided that I will not eat a dessert, but I can see them, smell them. watching everyone else eat them... I start bouncing my knee, biting my nails. I can't focus on anything else.
I eat more when I am alone. I find myself hurrying up and eating when my husband or kids aren't around. Like I don't want anyone to see me eat like that.
I am a diabetic and currently in kedoacidosis. So I am quite literally killing myself slowly. I know what it will take to help myself. It isn't that I don't know what to do. I know I have to count carbs and warch what I eat. I know I have to exercise regularly. I have done all of that before. I have buckled down and made it happen. Lost 60 lbs. got taken off all meds. Then I fall back. This time so far that I don't think I can save myself because something in my brain won't let me.
......Why Can't I stop!!???? I eat and cry! I eat until I am physically sick! I hate myself for it. But why can't I stop?????

 

[Foxjo]

Hi and welcome to the forum!
I understand how you feel. You are not alone in how you act. Food is addictive. It makes us happy temporally until the guilt kicks in and we are feeling bad again. It's a vicious circle that I too am stuck in. I wish I had an answer for you. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone.
Hugs
Fox

 

[feather423]

Thank you! Its good to know that other people are in the same boat!

 

[LORD BURT]

Love of food is not a bad thing. The important thing is to avoid cholesterol-rich foods which cause heart disease.

Cholesterol and Heart Disease

Learn more from WebMD about "good" and "bad" cholesterol, and how they affect your risk of developing heart disease.

www.webmd.com

Be a smart eater.

 

[feather423]

Love of food is not a bad thing. The important thing is to avoid cholesterol-rich foods which cause heart disease.

Cholesterol and Heart Disease

Learn more from WebMD about "good" and "bad" cholesterol, and how they affect your risk of developing heart disease.

www.webmd.com

Be a smart eater.

Thats just it. Easy to say. Its not so much a problem that I love food. Its the feeling.... Its an actual addiction. Its a struggle.

 

[LORD BURT]

Thats just it. Easy to say. Its not so much a problem that I love food. Its the feeling.... Its an actual addiction. Its a struggle.

I am telling you how it is. No sugar pill here. Take the first step in the right direction.

 

[goodgollymiss]

What about black bean burgers

 

[princesscookie19]

Drink some water

 

[TulipIceCream]

Drinking water is good. How about making low calorie soup? Some broth and vegetables? You will fill up on the 90% water content and you will not be able to eat anymore but still be nourished. Diabetes is a big issue here. Can you cut out all sugar, bread and pasta?

 

[dixied]

I always feel like my addiction isn't as tragic as drug addictions. But the truth is...my addiction to food is killing me. I can't tell if I'm addicted to food itself or if I'm addicted to eating. or how it feels when I'm eating.
I've had an eating disorder since I was 13. I am 38 now, and I can only in the last few years admit to myself that It IS an addiction. Ican't stop. I find myself in a constant battle in my own head all day long. and if I am in a situation where I am tempted.... I get physically affected. Like, at a church group where they have desserts spread out on a table. I have decided that I will not eat a dessert, but I can see them, smell them. watching everyone else eat them... I start bouncing my knee, biting my nails. I can't focus on anything else.
I eat more when I am alone. I find myself hurrying up and eating when my husband or kids aren't around. Like I don't want anyone to see me eat like that.
I am a diabetic and currently in kedoacidosis. So I am quite literally killing myself slowly. I know what it will take to help myself. It isn't that I don't know what to do. I know I have to count carbs and warch what I eat. I know I have to exercise regularly. I have done all of that before. I have buckled down and made it happen. Lost 60 lbs. got taken off all meds. Then I fall back. This time so far that I don't think I can save myself because something in my brain won't let me.
......Why Can't I stop!!???? I eat and cry! I eat until I am physically sick! I hate myself for it. But why can't I stop?????

Hello,
I just wanted to tell you that I understand you. I can't stop thinking about eating and I know if I'm left alone I will find somewhere to eat. I can't travel to work alone because I will stop on the way to get food. I'm rarely even hungry, I just can't think of anything else.
I actually spent many of my years with undereating disorders as a professional dancer, then one day I swung the other way and have now ruined my career.
I know exactly what I should be eating, and do eat exactly those things when people are around, but as soon as I am alone I change.
I don't know how to manage my own brain into finding this easy, so I definitely don't know what to say to trigger it for you, but all I know is that we do have it inside us to change.
Maybe try making a photo board of why you would like to get in control of this with photos of things that motivate you to want to be the best version of yourself xx