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Flashbacks and uneasy feelings after hospital operation

M

Mali38

New member
Joined
May 10, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Hereford
Hi, not sure if I have a problem but since having had major surgery and 5 day stay in hospital I often replay moments of it all in my head and it makes me feel scared thinking about what happened and that I never want it to happen again. I was scared stiff and had white coat syndrome to start with and never ever thought I would have to go to hospital, then aged 49 I had no choice. All went well, I had full hysterectomy and removal of massive tumour which turned out to be non cancerous thankfully. I have had no real pain and it was not a bad experience in hospital but one that I don't ever want to go through again. I can remember everything from getting up morning of operation through to when I fell asleep and then all from when I woke up after op. It makes me shiver at the thought of what happened. I have a long scar low as possible up past my belly button. I imagine myself laying on operating table and how it would of looked etc etc and it horrified me. I tell myself to shut up stop thinking of it. I am fine, it's all over and now I can carry on. Sometimes my scar freaks me out. If I think too much about it all it freaks me out. My bf tries to help by telling me it's all over and I am fine. He is fine with my scar. It was in October when had op. I was offered post op therapy by macmillan as they had treated diagnosis as probably cancerous, even though it turned out as not, but they still offered help. I panicked when they rang and offered help, I said but I didn't have cancer, I'm fine, I have my family to help. My first thought was oh god I got it wrong, I have got cancer and they offering help. I panicked. When I am not thinking about what I went through, everything is fine, I am happy, love my house and garden, loving bf and two cats, great family...... But then I go cold and scared when I think about hospital and my op.
Do I have a problem or will I eventually let it go and not worry anymore??
 
I

iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH3

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2020
Messages
787
Location
USA
:welcome: to the forum. How are you now? :hug:
 
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