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Fitting in when you don't drink

N

Neevee

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Very simply put, I don't drink. I have drank. I drank a handful of times this year. Nonetheless, I have no reason to drink. I don't hate the taste. I don't hate being buzzed. It just seems so pointless to me and so sad to use substances for fun or for social gatherings. I don't hate people who do, but I sincerely cannot be comfortable with anyone who does. It will take a lot for me to be around them. Being close to anyone who does it is off the table. I have tried, but it makes me feel like an outcast. I feel like I can't be myself or I can't be a part of their social activities. It just doesn't work for me. I know it's not impossible to find people who have similar mindsets to me, but 21 in college makes it hard. It's exhausting. That doesn't even get to dating. South side of chicago is party central. Alcohol goes with quite literally everything here. I'm not really asking a question more just ranting to the void. I try my best, but being uncomfortable with something that seems like a necessity for a vast majority of people my age in my area takes its toll.
 
Bluejay7500

Bluejay7500

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Drinking is just a waste of time and money, it also makes me feel bad about myself. I def agree with you here.

🔹
 
P

Purpleplum

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I was you (long time ago) and drank due to peer pressure. Then one day I got mad....mad that I had to spend my money on something I didn't want and drink things I didn't want...all to please other people and make THEM feel more comfortable. It was then that I stopped.

Don't do anything you don't want to do.

You need to show you don't care and that it doesn't bother you not to drink around them. If it bothers them that you're not drinking, then THEY have the problem.
 
Moonlight_Day

Moonlight_Day

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There is a college not far from me and I see some of them in the coffee shops on weekend evenings.. Do you ever go there to meet others? Might be worth checking out if not. Even if most drink and party, there is always a few that don't.
 
N

Neevee

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There is a college not far from me and I see some of them in the coffee shops on weekend evenings.. Do you ever go there to meet others? Might be worth checking out if not. Even if most drink and party, there is always a few that don't.
That is the current plan. Covid kind of put a stop to making progress ya know?
 
Moonlight_Day

Moonlight_Day

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Yep, I know. New lockdown started here today. When I was in school online was nothing like it is today so I am curious.. is there no kind of forum or social place for a college? I assumed there would be but no idea. If not someone could make a fortune developing some kind of chat forums for individual colleges and universities.. that's how Facebook basically started out. That is off topic but I don't get why there isn't an online discussion place for individual schools to meet others from the same school, like minded and other discussions. I assumed there was, surprised there's not by now.
 
fragrant_violet

fragrant_violet

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Drinkers rarely have a problem with non-drinkers. I stopped drinking experimentally once. The only real problem I had was finding something to drink that wasn't soda. And of course, bars don't like non drinkers so prices of soda are not much different to alcoholic drinks.

The other problem I remember was trying to make conversation with guys what got drunk and silly. Yeah it does make you feel left out.

At least some bars got alcohol free beer these days which don't taste too bad. So you can bee in a bar and it looks to everyone that your drinking
 
N

Neevee

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Chicago
Drinkers rarely have a problem with non-drinkers. I stopped drinking experimentally once. The only real problem I had was finding something to drink that wasn't soda. And of course, bars don't like non drinkers so prices of soda are not much different to alcoholic drinks.

The other problem I remember was trying to make conversation with guys what got drunk and silly. Yeah it does make you feel left out.

At least some bars got alcohol free beer these days which don't taste too bad. So you can bee in a bar and it looks to everyone that your drinking
I rather not conform to what everyone else wants to fit in. I rather fight through the shit and just find some people who don't go to bars. I'll go every once in a while, but rarely.
 
N

Neevee

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Location
Chicago
Yep, I know. New lockdown started here today. When I was in school online was nothing like it is today so I am curious.. is there no kind of forum or social place for a college? I assumed there would be but no idea. If not someone could make a fortune developing some kind of chat forums for individual colleges and universities.. that's how Facebook basically started out. That is off topic but I don't get why there isn't an online discussion place for individual schools to meet others from the same school, like minded and other discussions. I assumed there was, surprised there's not by now.
I was looking this week. I think I found one, but they meet when I work sadly.
 
fragrant_violet

fragrant_violet

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There must be clubs you can join which are not bar centred
 
fragrant_violet

fragrant_violet

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Cringe liberal is a new one for me

I was not thinking about political clubs but kinda hobby stuff. Chess, bridge, drama, that kinda gig
 
N

Neevee

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Cringe liberal is a new one for me

I was not thinking about political clubs but kinda hobby stuff. Chess, bridge, drama, that kinda gig
Well first of all it's still commonplace for the type of people I don't get along with to be there, but I still try. Chess was not fun. Band was toxic. Time to go to church haha
 
fragrant_violet

fragrant_violet

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Now church yeah, there's an idea. A lot of folk who go won't be heavy drinkers. Especially Mormons and JW. You might actually meet a nice girl at bible study. She might be there for the same reason.
 
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