S
StevenGrey
New member
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2010
- Messages
- 1
I feel a bit ridiculous posting this here. I've looked around and everyone seems to have real problems. Although the problem itself is pretty lame it's effects are anything but minor. I can't really talk to anyone about it so the internet seemed like the only option.
The problem is thus. I recently got married to a woman I’ve been with for over a decade. Our wedding day was one of the happiest days of my life. I was so certain it was the right thing to do. It was only a few months down the line that I started to have doubts.
For as long as I can remember I’ve always found it easier to be friends with women than other men. Unfortunately another “quirk” of mine seems to be a pathological ability to have crushes on my female friends. It’s never caused a problem before partly because I knew it was just a crush and partly because I knew it would never go anywhere so I just ignored it until it went away.
I’ve been friends with a woman at work for a few years now. We get along really well and always take our breaks together. Over the years I’ve grown more and more fond of her until now it’s got to the point where I’m thinking about her constantly. In the last few weeks it’s been making me really depressed. I’ve suffered with it before but nothing this bad for a long time.
The problem is that I can’t tell if my feelings are real of just a reaction to my fear of growing old and being trapped in a marriage. I do feel trapped even though I don’t really want to escape.
I haven’t told her about my feelings because it would ruin our friendship and I’m certain she doesn’t feel the same way. She has a partner who she’s been with for a long time; they’re planning to buy a house together soon. I talked to her in broad terms the other day about how I’d been having feelings for someone and it was taking over my life and she was very comforting.
As much as I rationalise the problem I can’t get her out of my head. As much as I know that it’s probably just some pathetic pre-mid-life-crisis I can’t make the feelings stop. Which is all I want. I want it to stop so I can get on with my life.
It’s killing me, pretending every day that I’m not interested in her. Talking about how ridiculous it was: all those rumours about she and I having an affair which were going round the office. Lying to her face about how happy I am that she’s planning a life for herself with her partner. When I see her in the office it actually hurts me. I get that sinking feeling in my chest. Like someone tugging on my heart.
It’s ruining my life. I’m trying to be two people. My sex life is grinding to a halt despite the best efforts of my wife. All I can think about is her. Being with her. Making her coffee in the morning. I can see myself taking holidays with her (something I’ve never wanted to do before). Talking to her in bed on a sunday morning.
I’ve no idea what to do. This is either going to continue and drive me over the brink or she’ll move away, get a new job and I’ll just be left with the thoughts and wishes of what could have been. What the hell am I doing?
The problem is thus. I recently got married to a woman I’ve been with for over a decade. Our wedding day was one of the happiest days of my life. I was so certain it was the right thing to do. It was only a few months down the line that I started to have doubts.
For as long as I can remember I’ve always found it easier to be friends with women than other men. Unfortunately another “quirk” of mine seems to be a pathological ability to have crushes on my female friends. It’s never caused a problem before partly because I knew it was just a crush and partly because I knew it would never go anywhere so I just ignored it until it went away.
I’ve been friends with a woman at work for a few years now. We get along really well and always take our breaks together. Over the years I’ve grown more and more fond of her until now it’s got to the point where I’m thinking about her constantly. In the last few weeks it’s been making me really depressed. I’ve suffered with it before but nothing this bad for a long time.
The problem is that I can’t tell if my feelings are real of just a reaction to my fear of growing old and being trapped in a marriage. I do feel trapped even though I don’t really want to escape.
I haven’t told her about my feelings because it would ruin our friendship and I’m certain she doesn’t feel the same way. She has a partner who she’s been with for a long time; they’re planning to buy a house together soon. I talked to her in broad terms the other day about how I’d been having feelings for someone and it was taking over my life and she was very comforting.
As much as I rationalise the problem I can’t get her out of my head. As much as I know that it’s probably just some pathetic pre-mid-life-crisis I can’t make the feelings stop. Which is all I want. I want it to stop so I can get on with my life.
It’s killing me, pretending every day that I’m not interested in her. Talking about how ridiculous it was: all those rumours about she and I having an affair which were going round the office. Lying to her face about how happy I am that she’s planning a life for herself with her partner. When I see her in the office it actually hurts me. I get that sinking feeling in my chest. Like someone tugging on my heart.
It’s ruining my life. I’m trying to be two people. My sex life is grinding to a halt despite the best efforts of my wife. All I can think about is her. Being with her. Making her coffee in the morning. I can see myself taking holidays with her (something I’ve never wanted to do before). Talking to her in bed on a sunday morning.
I’ve no idea what to do. This is either going to continue and drive me over the brink or she’ll move away, get a new job and I’ll just be left with the thoughts and wishes of what could have been. What the hell am I doing?
