First post 😬 Need some advice on going back to work.

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882020

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Hi everyone, basically trying to keep it short, I’ve been suffering with anxiety and depression for the last couple of years, but recently the last few months it got worse and ended up getting signed of work for a month.

The first week I was worrying about work and whether they’ll try and use any excuse to get rid of me, maybe paranoia? The next couple of weeks I did somewhat forget that and improved, but now I go back on Tuesday and becoming more and more anxious about it, I know that thru speaking to a colleague that some people know what I was signed off with, I know I shouldn’t care because it is what it is, just looking for advice as to how I handle going back, do I just try pretend like nothing happened and just try keep my head down as best I can, or be pretty open about it 🤔

If anyone’s been in a similar position and has advice please share, Thanks for reading :)
 
Lilbubble

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Hi and :welcome: to the forum

I know it's difficult but well done on taking the step to get back to work (y)

There is no right or wrong answer to what you tell your colleagues, other than it's what ever you are comfortable with them knowing. Don't feel you need to tell them anything or explain yourself - You don't !

Here's the link to a recent thread about returning to work, you might find it helpful - https://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/thread181562.html

Whatever you do, good luck on Tuesday and let us know how it goes

Stay Strong :)

Lilbubble x
 
Mayfair

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:welcome: to the forums 88,

Well, really I think just go to work as normal. Some people may say something, or ask if you better, and you can just say (truth or lie) that you are feeling better, then they should stop asking.

(it's really none of their business, and is gossip, when it comes down to it) - but this is what happens in work places.

Sorry not great advice
 
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882020

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Thanks both :) I looked thru the link cheers it was helpful, think I’m just thinking too much of it, like you say it’s none of their business, once I get the first day back out the way it should become old news again hopefully, just need to try switch of from it untill Tuesday.

Thanks again :)
 
Mayfair

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Thanks both :) I looked thru the link cheers it was helpful, think I’m just thinking too much of it, like you say it’s none of their business, once I get the first day back out the way it should become old news again hopefully, just need to try switch of from it untill Tuesday.

Thanks again :)
Yes, I think the important thing is don't stress over it, otherwise you will end up back in same position.

I remember in 1991 I had a week off, and the doctor's letter said on it 'stress related', and I remember my boss (in front of all her supervisors) said quite loudly 'Mayfair dear, we all get stressed love, but don't have time off work for it' (in the most patronising manner too!)

I can clearly remember my thoughts on this at the time, but best not write them here :LOL:
 
Lilbubble

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once I get the first day back out the way it should become old news again hopefully,
As the saying goes........ today's newspaper is tomorrow's chip paper ! :D
 
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882020

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yeah going to try and forget about it and just deal with it Tuesday, I don’t blame you people can be out of order! I think that’s another thing that’s bothering me, whether I’ll get any comments like what was said to you, Wasn’t very happy that people found out about the note, I said to keep the reason between just the people that need to know, which maximum is two people, but someone’s been careless with the note, or just told people that didn’t need to know, my friend that works at the same place got it word for word what was on the note, not sure what to do about that either just ride it out, or ask them why that happened and how, but that could make things worse 🤔
 
Lilbubble

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Yes, I think the important thing is don't stress over it, otherwise you will end up back in same position.

I remember in 1991 I had a week off, and the doctor's letter said on it 'stress related', and I remember my boss (in front of all her supervisors) said quite loudly 'Mayfair dear, we all get stressed love, but don't have time off work for it' (in the most patronising manner too!)

I can clearly remember my thoughts on this at the time, but best not write them here :LOL:
Oh I've encountered this sort of attitude a few times over the years, I might have been quiet and embarrassed in response years ago but my response in later years has been unsuitable for a public forum also ....:LOL:
 
Lilbubble

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yeah going to try and forget about it and just deal with it Tuesday, I don’t blame you people can be out of order! I think that’s another thing that’s bothering me, whether I’ll get any comments like what was said to you, Wasn’t very happy that people found out about the note, I said to keep the reason between just the people that need to know, which maximum is two people, but someone’s been careless with the note, or just told people that didn’t need to know, my friend that works at the same place got it word for word what was on the note, not sure what to do about that either just ride it out, or ask them why that happened and how, but that could make things worse 🤔
Personally, I would raise this issue (privately) even if it purely to make them aware you know they have not kept your personal information private and confidential which they duty bound to do as part of data protection. They might not be so loose lipped or careless again.
 
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882020

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Yeah don’t think I’ll be able to not raise it, but like you say do it privately to the ones who had to know in the first place. ����
 
Lilbubble

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Yeah don’t think I’ll be able to not raise it, but like you say do it privately to the ones who had to know in the first place. ����
Either them or above depends on how much it troubles you.
 
Tired Daisy

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As the saying goes........ today's newspaper is tomorrow's chip paper ! :D
In my case its the chip paper that was never read or something like that... I'm stuck in the past and its like being in hell because nothing can be changed and my life is a mess.
 
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Mayfair

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yeah going to try and forget about it and just deal with it Tuesday, I don’t blame you people can be out of order! I think that’s another thing that’s bothering me, whether I’ll get any comments like what was said to you, Wasn’t very happy that people found out about the note, I said to keep the reason between just the people that need to know, which maximum is two people, but someone’s been careless with the note, or just told people that didn’t need to know, my friend that works at the same place got it word for word what was on the note, not sure what to do about that either just ride it out, or ask them why that happened and how, but that could make things worse ��
From this 88, I would say this...

(purely IMO) forget who spread the note. Note or not, news spreads regardless. I think bringing up who spread it will make situation work. I know this sounds quite defeatist, but I just write what I would do, using previous experience.

I also agree, it will be yesterday's news. The only way it won't be, I think (thinking from own perspective) is if you give them anything to build more on. (like bringing up note)

I'd just say, 'had a few personal problems*, but sorted now and ready for work! - they'll leave it then.

(*perhaps add with family or at home or something that is vague but near truth, so you don't have to worry about lying)
 
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882020

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Yeah, good point that’s probably the best option to just ignore it going forward, maybe it might be better if some of them know what’s up, Who knows they could be really good about it only time will tell :) thanks for the advice :)
 
R_Sxo

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Hi 8820202,

It's great to hear that you're able to go back to work, but what you're concerned about isn't uncommon - many people are atleast somewhat concerned about what others will think about your absence. The truth is, most people will have been busy at work so won't have been judging you gone - they'll simply be happy that you're back.

In my experience, pretending that nothing happened doesn't work, particularly because some people at work already know. It's best to be concise but honest - for example, "My mental wellbeing was really poor, so I felt I had to take some time away from work to address it". Simple honesty answers the question directly without hiding anything.

For you, just focus on the job again and doing your work right, but this time keeping your mental wellbeing in check as well. After all, that's the main reason you're going back, not to hold a mental wellbeing-based press conference! :)

Much love <3
 
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