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First manic episode, advice needed please

M

Minimac

Member
Joined
Apr 25, 2010
Messages
5
Location
Glasgow, Scotland
Hi all, I also posted this in the bipolar forum, but thought this might be better as some of you may have experience in dealing with manic episodes.

I am new to this forum and have joined as one of my oldest friends has just be diagnosed bipolar. She is experiencing her first Manic / psychotic episode whilst in America and myself and other friends and family are trying to help her from back in the UK. She is delusional and making very very bad decisions, ones that when she is normal she would never make and do. She has got married to a complete stranger and keeps delaying her return home, she phoned up and quit her new job that she had tried really hard to get and is talking of selling her house. The guy she married is telling her she is not unwell, even though she was sectioned for 18 days and told she was psychotic and left being manic but thankfully with medication.

For now all of her friends and family have been going along with what she is saying so we don't upset her and encourage her to come back home. We are hoping she is flying back this Thursday. My question here is when someone is in a manic state can they be reasoned with at all? We have tried with my friend but it doesn't seem to make any difference. She doesn't think she is unwell and this guy is backing her up. When she comes home should we tell her she is unwell and don't agree with the marriage, or will that make matters worse if she decides to no longer trust and talk to us?

I am scared worried and at a complete loss as what to do. She has booked a venue for a blessing back her in Scotland for a months time and expects us to be bridesmaids and for people to support this new marriage. I can assure you she is not acting rationally and not like herself at all. Any help or ideas would be greatly appreciated.
 
cloudberry

cloudberry

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Jan 26, 2008
Messages
409
Location
North Lincolnshire
This is very difficult. I remember my sisters first manic episode. we didnt have a clue what was going on. You do, but sorry, there isnt a lot you can do. Its the worst possible thing to know it and no one else even does anything.

The mental health services seem to take the attitude "what we dont see isnt a problem". Alex, my sister has been manic bi polar for 19 years now and we see this time and again. No one does anything. We as the family try and cope, but trying to get her sectioned when she is violent even to her own children is impossible. they closed all the hospitals in Thatchers time and ther simply is not the places to put people when they are manic, mad and vulnerable like there used to be.

What do we do? We step back and worry like hell but know we cant do anything. Even her own GP just smiles and says it will pass. As she smashes up her neighbours windows and takes a cordless drill to their cars. Now that is madness.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but dont expect anything from "the services". Then at least you wont be disappointed.

Just tell her you love her no matter what.

cloudberry
 
M

Minimac

Member
Joined
Apr 25, 2010
Messages
5
Location
Glasgow, Scotland
Thank you cloudberry for your reply. Every time we talk to her we try and reinforce how much we miss her and love her. Just doesn't seem enough when we are all in such a panic about this guy that seems to have such a hold over her but blatantly does not care for her well fare, just that he has a pretty young wife. If he cared then he wouldn't be trying to prevent her from coming home, or telling her to come off her lithium so that they can have a baby! They only met a few weeks ago. I know that at some point the mania has to end and then we will be there for her to help sort out the problems she has made for herself during this period. I just really hope by this point she isn't pregnant and isn't back in America, I have no idea how the new husband will deal with her depression as he has only ever known the manic person.

Anyway I know there is never going to be an easy answer. It is just good to talk to people that have been through the same thing. Thank you.
 
C

Charlie123

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 17, 2010
Messages
48
It is good that you are asking for help. I wouldnt know where to turn or what to do! I would be speaking to a mental health officer at Glasgow Council and ask if they can do anything. If anything, they will assess her on here return. Sounds as if she needs help.
 
T

TherapyTribe

Member
Joined
May 15, 2010
Messages
16
HI



I have read what u have written i must agree with cloud berry as she said don't expect anything from "the services".




thanks
 
M

Minimac

Member
Joined
Apr 25, 2010
Messages
5
Location
Glasgow, Scotland
It seems you are sadly right :( The doctors don't seem to be able to do anything. As she isn't a threat to herself or anyone else and can hold a normal conversation then if you didn't know her you would think she was fine. She went back to America today to live with her 'husband'. Although her sister and I were in tears telling her we didn't want her to go she didn't seem at all fussed. It does seem that I m unable to get through to her on any level. I am just going to stay in touch via email and hope that she wants to come home soon. Doesn't seem like there is anything else I can do.

Thank you for the advce though, it helps to talk about it and hear about other peoples experiences.
 
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