Finding Support, getting off of the Brain Train.

T

TBSC5000

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Oct 26, 2017
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2
I am 28 years old, I live in London and by all external signals have a good quality of life. I have a well paid job, I have a healthy bank balance, I am not physically unwell and have a partner of 3 years who wants me for me.

Unfortunately I am depressed. I have had persistent depressive episodes since I was around 21 years old, and have been enrolled on three separate courses as an outpatient for an eating disorder, and until recently had been getting better.

I phrased my title the way I did, because I feel like I can't get off of the train of depression. I can see the stops along the way (socials / opportunities to make friends), but my train doesn't stop at these places. I feel utter contempt for myself as a person and do not feel like I am 'living' in a normal human sense.

I feel like I am terrible at my job (office based), I am often stressed and overloaded but also find myself idly browsing the internet instead of tackling anything, it is like I have stopped trying to fight.

I ran a half marathon earlier this month, which was hard to find time to train for but was elation to finish, and since then I have done nothing but relapse (to my ED) and fall into a pit of misery.

I want to find some support groups that I can meet up with / talk to that are not focused on treatment, but on understanding and conversation. It sounds cliche', but I feel like I am the only person in the world that is not striving to live.
 
T

TBSC5000

New member
Joined
Oct 26, 2017
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2
I have seen my GP
I have been to NHS Councilling
I have been to private Councilling
I have been taking SSRIs in the past (I stopped a few years ago as I don't want to drug myself)

nothing seems to help me for more than a few weeks/months
 
nickybow86

nickybow86

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Jul 17, 2017
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Ireland
Hi and welcome to the forum.
This is the perfect place to come and talk to like minded people who completely understand and will support you. I am 31 from Ireland and have suffered with depression since my teens and in the process of being diagnosed with a mood disorder.. unfortunately i am on prozac 40mg and it is helping me at the moment. I understand how you feel about wanting to get off the deppresaion train but just cant. Sometimes it's all we know. Have you tried therapy at all
 
calypso

calypso

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SSRIs never worked for me and I had to be tried on several types of medications before I found the right one. I realise you said you don't want to be drugged but sometimes we all need some help. Counselling isn't very good often enough, rather therapy is better. I would ask you why you are allowing yourself to be over worked and what is going on within you that you can't say anything about it. That is not meant confrontationally just a genuine question.

It sounds as though its around your needing more space for your own life and freedom from the treadmill of your present life. I don't hae answers, but I can listen.
 
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