Finding it hard to accept love today

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Sarabi_Gyarados

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Whether it's my BPD or me, I'm finding it hard to believe I am lovable today. I feel ugly, bloated, tired, low and not exciting or fun enough to be worthy of love. I just want a hug and to know I am worthy of love.
 
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Lunar Lady

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Whether it's my BPD or me, I'm finding it hard to believe I am lovable today. I feel ugly, bloated, tired, low and not exciting or fun enough to be worthy of love. I just want a hug and to know I am worthy of love.
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You deserve love and you deserve a hug.

You are a wonderful human being. xxx
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

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Thank you so much. What a beautiful picture. The love, support and kindness on this forum continues to surprise me. It is such a warm and safe environment to seek love when I need it. Thank you.
 
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Lunar Lady

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The feeling will pass, Sarabi.

I woke up 'low' this morning and had to work at it.

Not sure if it might help you...but this is what I do. I sit outside, close my eyes and picture myself rising up in a hot air balloon. The higher it goes, the more I can see...children laughing...ambulances rushing to emergencies...trees swaying in the breeze...babies being born screaming...life support machines giving a long and final monotonous bleep..higher and higher until I can feel all the joy and sadness, beauty and misery of this planet as I breathe in and out. I keep going up in the hot air balloon until the planet is a speck beneath me...and my life is an even smaller speck...and anything I may think or feel about myself is of no significance...isn't something real or valid. It makes me feel connected with everyone - just a stitch in this colourful tapestry called life but valuable in my own way to hold it all together....

Award yourself a delicious nap for a couple of hours - tiredness makes everything worse. Then start again...it's gonna be okay. x

 
Lunus

Lunus

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Whether it's my BPD or me, I'm finding it hard to believe I am lovable today. I feel ugly, bloated, tired, low and not exciting or fun enough to be worthy of love. I just want a hug and to know I am worthy of love.
Always remember a feeling leads to a thought. So that’s all it is, a thought. Probably a thought that is not even true, a cognitive distortion maybe. It’s not YOU it’s your brain. Try to acknowledge any thoughts, recognise your limitations on what is factual and what isn’t. Then just wait for that thought to peak and fade away.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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you are definitely worthy of love x everyone is
and because you are so kind caring and lovely you most certainly are
love Lu xxx
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

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Hi all

Thank you so much for your beautiful responses.

Perhaps this is a BPD line of thought, but I start to feel I am not worthy of love because the way we love is changing. Polyamory is becoming more common, hookup culture is rampant, relationships and family are not valued or protected in our society, instead being an eternal teenager is rewarded. So I feel that grown up, mature love is not really possible for most people, that kind of deep fiery passion that keeps burning with time is not possible, and if I can't have that kind of love, then I must not be deserving of it.

The crazy thing is I am in a relationship and I am loved, but it's like I can't believe it or accept it to be true. I always think I'll be left or replaced or that the love will end. I can't believe in this world of casual love that someone would choose to love me.
 
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