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Find it difficult talking to people personally

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Naomi9

Member
Joined
Dec 1, 2019
Messages
21
Location
United Kingdom
Hi all,

I have difficulty talking. I work and am ok with speaking in my role there. However when I go for training courses/when I'm with a friend/dating and any activities really I have trouble talking about personal things, like stories about my life. People usually share their stories & I don't always share mine. Plus when they're talking it feels like too much information to take in sometimes. On a good day I'll talk to people, listen to them, even have fun with it. On a bad day I'll listen, struggle to concentrate on what they've said, struggle with answering questions in detail, avoid chatting and more. I might have a worrying though go through my mind but then it feels like I'm far away (maybe dissociated idk) or that my mind can't think.

I do have trouble with anxiety, not sure exactly how that is related to this. Though when I'm anxious the above gets a whole lot worst. In my work I can keep busy and take a minute alone if I need to. In my personal life its debilitating. People do like being listened to, but it seems like I don't have enough to give really. Any thoughts?
 
calypso

calypso

Well-known member
Admin
Moderator
Joined
Jan 5, 2011
Messages
44,744
Location
Lancashire
I used to get like this and its debilitating at times isn't it? Are you on any medication for the anxiety? My son used to have some pills just for when it got really bad and he could take one and get through the moment. As for talking with people, you mention a stray thought here and there which interferes with your concentration. Can you use Mindfulness to draw your mind back to the situation you are in gently but not try to block the thought, just recognise it and then tell yourself that its just a thought and come back to the conversation.

It strikes me that you say you can manage at work because you have a role to play. Can you imagine yourself in a role at social gatherings, invent one, which you can identify with and pretend. You know the old adage, "fake it till you make it" sort of thing.

 
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Naomi9

Member
Joined
Dec 1, 2019
Messages
21
Location
United Kingdom
Thanks for your reply calpyso. I'm taking Valerian Root Extract, nothing prescribed. I'm thinking about talking to gp about this, like to ask for something like what your son used, for temporary relief. I'll try recognising the worrying thought, I guess my mind sees it coming & goes off somewhere knowing that it's not a helpful thought.

Not sure what role I can play, will think on that. I've tried being the listener, tried being the supportive one, the upbeat cheerful one, the sporty one. Maybe I can use a few depending on the situation. I suppose its the wanting to be what's needed at the time that makes me feel not enough.

I wish it was ok to be the quiet one trying to figure things out!
 
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