finally

[jimmy]

well its been 4 months or so now with no help from cmht since i changed my location,and it seemed that it would remain that way... unfortunatley i had a bad 2 weeks or so of high anxiety with large doses of energy confidence and so on, ive applied for work i know i cant normally do (im still going to try as being in a state where im ok to work would be good - although family think otherwise and shouldnt try yet) i got in such a state i basically stopped myself from leaving house and gave family my cards - ive learnt to do this now - and called the crysis team, after 3 days of them visiting twice a day they have finally got someone who seems to be trying to help my situation....which is good, im happy about that and maybe i can start to get myself back to how i was a few years ago -or maybe im being optimistic- dont get me wrong im happy its all begining to take place again (although im dreading going through everything again with yet another team for the third time) im just kind of shocked id been badgering cmht for months and it took me becoming slightly risky for them to organize somthing....thats one thing ive noticed now i think about it....ive been to 3 or 4 diffrent teams, my documents get transfered over, and they new people have no clue of my history and i have to go over it all again which is hard not only due to subject matter but also my memory and or attiude at the time, i always forget and leave stuff out....why if all documents on me from previos teams are sent to them do they not already know all this? anyway wahey good mood as ball is rolling and with their help i can get my life going again

 

[jimmy]

oh and not thier fault but somthing really really annoys me about the new person they have seeing me (well ive only met them once) just somthing about them pisses me off lol......im hoping that was just because of the state i was in....maybe next time i see them ill like them more....it was probably just annoyance at hearing the same long list of questions for the 4th time in 3 days

 

[Desperado]

Hi Jimmy, sorry but in bad place atm but have you thought of writing down what you want/need to say for your next meeting. Sorry to hear of you longstanding troubles, wish I could be of more help...D x

 

[boomer lunar]

Jimmy sorry your having troubles, we are here to listen even late at night. Sending all the support I can muster your way.

 

[Desperado]

Hi jimmy, sounds like a right old mess - hope you get it sorted and get the help you need. Looks like only you and me online now so I'm off to bed - taken my meds now. Take care. D x

 

[jimmy]

im actually alot better atm, yes i was writing alot down...on pc though so im going to have to shock new team with massive wadd of printed paper, but hey suppose its more accurate detials than my recolection would give so better....less energetic now, kinda low i suppose but perfectley controlable/ easy to hide besides being a bit quick to annoy and snap but not in voilent ways so all good, at least this time there where no large delusions/ halucinations / misconceptions so thats all good. the real danger area is over now its just copping with wierd being down zoning out low energy and confusion which im more comftable with as im not worried about what i may do, im controlable not ridiculously over the top and happy scary so wahey thanx 4 support

 

[tiltawhirl]

My sympathies Jimmy. I am going through the exact same things!
I am so angry at the intelllectual level but hurt, shamed, all those sorts of things at the feeling level.
I am very afraid of the depression demon which I can hear chasing me to nip at my heels until it takes me down.

I am even so tired..I don't feel like typing this evening and I am not sure that has EVER happened before.

I hope things get better for you!

 

[megirl]

Hi jimmy hoping you feel better soon.
I feel like telling the mental health team to all piss off at the moment, part of the reason was my psych appt was cancelled. However reality has sunk in and I actually want to tell a few people to fuck off!! Example other people on the road/at the supermarket its kind of funny but kind of not as well. I only feel this way cos of the damn mania so after talking to the support worker (and no I didnt yell at or abuse her) and being honest about the rage etc she can see me on Monday phew! A sense of relief. I ndont want to end up in the place where I was 4 months ago. So to get it sorted sooner rather than later is the best option.