- Jan 10, 2021
I finally had my meeting with my psychiatrist to discuss what’s going on and my medication. I told her about how my paranoia is becoming really difficult to deal with and about all the people who are trying to get to me and performing tests and scans on me. But at the end of the meeting she suddenly comes out telling me about how depressed she thinks I am, despite me saying multiple times that I do not feel depressed and barely express much inner emotion. Therefore she decides to increase my anti depressant rather than increasing my anti psychotic which I thought she was going to do. I just don’t understand peoples inability to listen, it’s like shes implanting ideas into my head trying to convince me of a false truth like a Jedi mind trick or something. The way she talks about me is that I only FEEL like people are trying to get to me, whereas I actually KNOW that these people are trying to get to me. I’m just so sick of her doing this because I actually start to believe her and start to tell myself that I must be depressed despite not ever feeling depressed so these mind tricks that’s shes playing are actually working. I just don’t know what to believe anymore, my mind is all over the place. I hope I’m not annoying anyone I’m just not in a great place at the moment.