S
swan
Well-known member
Hello, I just joined.
I'm interested in knowing what people think about a couple of issues I have..I'm 20 and have been experiencing some scary emotions over the past year or so. I occasionally get uncontrollably angry at myself and am terrified that I'll lash out and hurt people I love, or even strangers in the street. It used to come on every couple of days but it seems to have calmed down a bit. I also go through spells of intense sadness and self-loathing and feel as though nothing I do can possibly ease it. When this happens I sometimes hit myself in the face/bash my head on things and cut myself as a way of dissipating the negativity. This lasts 2 days at most and the rest of the time I feel fine, sometimes better than fine, like I am superior to everyone and everything on earth, infallible.
I have been keeping a diary in the hope that I'll see a pattern in these moods but there doesn't seem to be one. I was convinced it was just severe pmt but it doesn't seem to correlate.
It's been driving me crazy because after a bad spell I'll feel as though I should go to a doctor and try and figure out what's going on but it never lasts long enough to seem like it's of any significance, so haven't ever gone (doesn't help that I'm scared of doctors and of being put on medication). Recently I've also been having suicidal thoughts and they've really scared me. I'd love to feel as though I'm not just making a big deal out of something that's normal but I can't see what could be wrong.
Any insight would be a great help.
Thanks,
Swan
I'm interested in knowing what people think about a couple of issues I have..I'm 20 and have been experiencing some scary emotions over the past year or so. I occasionally get uncontrollably angry at myself and am terrified that I'll lash out and hurt people I love, or even strangers in the street. It used to come on every couple of days but it seems to have calmed down a bit. I also go through spells of intense sadness and self-loathing and feel as though nothing I do can possibly ease it. When this happens I sometimes hit myself in the face/bash my head on things and cut myself as a way of dissipating the negativity. This lasts 2 days at most and the rest of the time I feel fine, sometimes better than fine, like I am superior to everyone and everything on earth, infallible.
I have been keeping a diary in the hope that I'll see a pattern in these moods but there doesn't seem to be one. I was convinced it was just severe pmt but it doesn't seem to correlate.
It's been driving me crazy because after a bad spell I'll feel as though I should go to a doctor and try and figure out what's going on but it never lasts long enough to seem like it's of any significance, so haven't ever gone (doesn't help that I'm scared of doctors and of being put on medication). Recently I've also been having suicidal thoughts and they've really scared me. I'd love to feel as though I'm not just making a big deal out of something that's normal but I can't see what could be wrong.
Any insight would be a great help.
Thanks,
Swan