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Fiance is addicted to prescribed medication for more than 1 MH issue- please help!

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mrstobe

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Sep 9, 2009
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Fiance is addicted to prescribed medication for more than 1 MH issue- please help!

Hello everybody,

My fiance is being prescribed medication for anxiety, depression and insomnia. He has been on his medication for all three for about 2 years and is addicted to them.

My biggest worry is the sleeping tablets- he now buys more than he is prescribed from the internet and takes more than he should every night.(He is supposed to be trying to come off them although am scared he doesn't actually want to) And during the day his behaviour vary's (sometimes he's manic and sometimes he's quiet and withdrawn) and he's now started having severe memory loss as well as sneaking around the house and coming up with what he thinks are good explanations to his activities. I'm on the verge of having our first child (was due last weekend) and so worried about how this will affect our baby and family life.

I love him so much but don't know what to do- should I write a letter to his GP? (am worried they'll stop his prescription altogether or withdraw help if he's just going to "self prescribe") or I thought about asking him to go to councilling with me as i'm so upset by it all and i'm finding it hard dealing with the fact that sometimes he looks and acts so spaced out and other times he's his usual self, the fact that he is taking medication every night that alters him, let alone the fact these pills will be in the house with our baby.

I would really appreciate any thoughts and advice,

Thank you very much :)
 
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schizolanza

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Have you been able to confront him about the sleeping tablets?
What medication is he taking?
The pills can be put in a safe place out of the reach of your baby.
 
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mrstobe

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yeh have confronted him, he admits he's addicted to them and has said he needs to take two a night but he's sneaking around and I have a feeling he's taking more, the thing is he has a very good reason as to why he was put on them and I know i don't understand but that was two years ago.
He's on Zoplicone, Propanalol and citalopram.

I can hide the tablets, but I can't hide the way "daddy is at night time" and i'm worried about the baby growing up around these things. I'm a teacher and know the damaging effects of learnt behaviour and the effects these can have on kids.

He's absolutely amazing and is going to make the best Dad but as I've said to him, how long does he expect to be on medication for? years? the rest of his life? He has said to me he wants to come off all medication, which deep down I think he does but what with being addicted to it all I'm not sure if he has the will power.

What should i do?
 
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schizolanza

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It must be hard for you having to cope with this at this time before you have your baby.
I can see why you're worried but dont know what to suggest.I think I'd look for his zoplicone bought off the internet and throw it away.I think taking more than the prescribed amount is dangerous.
I have a history of substance abuse myself (alcohol and cannabis).The sites that sell sleeping pills without a prescription usually sell valium and other addictive drugs aswell.Hope he hasn't been tempted to try them.
Has he got a CPN you could speak to?If not then perhaps writing to his GP would be a good idea.
 
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maudikie

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If your G.P. iswell informed about mental illness I should go to see him an/or write and tell him your worries. Otherwise if your partner is incontact with the mental health Team theycould be of help. It is not advisable to buy drugs off the internet. Some of them are not genuine. I hope you and your baby are O.K. has IT arrived yet? Certainly keep all medications out of the way of any children, and if possible locked up - not the children! The pills.:hug:
 
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mrstobe

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Thank you so much for your replies- I know I have not been on here in a LONG time- it's been a tough few years! And have basically been hiding away hoping everything would get better- it's not. I am on the verge of a mental breakdown and really don't know what to do. Since last posting I have found out more about him, his addictions and who he is and the extent of the web of lies he has cast in order to avoid admitting he's taking them and it is just such a horrible position to be in. I never thought this would be my life and now we are married and I feel truely trapped and very fearful, lonely for the future!
 
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ziggy4828

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I totally feel for you mrstobe, what an awful position to be in, esp as your having a baby and you will be needing his full support.

He has made one huge step though in admitting that he is addicted to the medication so that is a huge positive. He has to to truly want to be free of this though isf any progress is to be made. He has to stop buying extra medication off the internet, that really is the 1st step. He must go back to his gp/mh team and tell them whats going on. This doesnt sound like something he can stop on his own, even with your help. He has to be open and honest. I doubt they wil just stop his perscription as they know that will just force him into buying more. I think they are more likely to make a taylor made programme of reduction and hopefully addres whats at the root of the problem.
But these are things HE has todo for himself. You could try speaking to his gp, but in my experience they do little unless the person involved asks for help themselves.
All you can do is to carry on supporting him and encouraging him, but you must look out for you and more importantly your baby. Best of luck xx
 
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mrstobe

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thank you very much,

We have been to his GP together but even then he lied about taking them during the day and he STILL goes ahead and buys them off the internet. I've told him he needs to want to do it but for whatever reason he says he'll stop/ go the GP for extra help/ Go visit an addiction health care professional (and he has promised me this umpteen times, i've lost count!) and it never happens or the more usual he LIES about it- I cannot emphasise how much he lies- about EVERYTHING in his life, even stupid everyday things that there is no reason for lying about! He will say anything and promise everything to just "get me to stop trying to get him to address the issue" the usual cycle goes like this: I notice things are not good, keep it burried inside in the hope that it is just a phase/ he will stop by himself (also don't want to pressure him and by not saying anything hope that this reduces the pressure) until it gets worse or more frequent to the point that I cannot cope anymore, it is too hard living with an addict and it all gets to much and I end up having a conversation with him about how much he needs to get help, how much this is affecting myself and our son and how we can't live like this. he then sometimes admits his addicitons (he will lie even when I have evidence to the contrary like finding little sugar sachets you get in motorway service stations precisely opened, sugar emptied, replaced with tablets and then stuck back together- all so he can take them at work!!!) when I eventually get through to him that the evidence doesn't lie and he then promises he will change etc etc. For a couple of weeks he'sall good and then the cycle starts again. We have gone through this cycle a ridiculous number of times and I finally realised about a month ago after an incident that I don't think he will ever change and I should probably get out of this- the thing is he has made sure I am completley dependant on him so leaving him would be very difficult as I have nothing- even my phone contract is in his name (a surprise gift of a new phone, apparantly!) The thing that gets to me the most is that he will say horrible things about me, that i'm paranoid, crazy, a witch etc etc- make me feel really bad just so he doesn't have to admit the truth! It's litterally killing me. Sorry for the rant but I there is no-one I can talk to about this. He has his web of lies spun so well no-one would believe me (I would never use the proof I have against him, it's not in my nature)

Thank you for listening X
 
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ziggy4828

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Youve just described an addict mrstrobe. Not taking responsibility, doing anything...everything not to be found out, sadly its nothing new. From what youve said it doesnt sound like he is quite ready to get help. Its really sad and frustrating but there is nothing you can do about that. The cycle will probably go on and on. I dont know how to make someone 'wake up' and realise their behaviour. I dont think its that he doesnt love you or your son, its just that right now the tablets...getting them, making sure he has enough of them etc etc are his priority. He is also probably very scared what life would be like without them. Unfortunatly the kind of meds he are taking only work for so long then the dose needs to be increased inorder to get the same effect...the body becomes tolerant, as with most drugs so more is needed.
Only you can decided what to do. But you have much more power then you think. You dont have to put up with this behaviour. Take care x
 
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