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Feeling very suicidal today

C

CKM1234

Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
6
Location
NY
Hi everyone,

hope whoever reads this is doing well.As you can see from the title I’m just not doing well. I’m so tired of living and being in pain.I feel hopeless like no matter how hard I try it’s never enough.

I’m constantly talking down to myself and things are just falling apart in my life. I barely get any sleep and I’m not motivated to do anything.I’m trying to get better but i always end up feeling depressed again
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 9, 2020
Messages
1,778
Location
Canada
low self esteem can cause depression. and then depression can cause even lower self esteem. which can create a black hole you cant get out of. best thing to do if your depressed is make peace with it. you can still do everything you need to, just do it more slowly. acceptance of the current external situation stops the war inside us. then we can regain the power of our intuition and adaptation. which will help us to deal with the problem more effectively. you have to watch out for that sneaky ego, it always grabs onto whatever is happening and tries to create an identity out of it. because it has no answer to the question: who am i? It can't see the real answer, which is: infinity. You are not what happens to you and you are not what you are feeling. you are the infinite being which experiences all that. and has the power to overcome it.
 
V

venusgarci

Active member
Joined
Feb 18, 2020
Messages
29
Location
Mexico
I'm so sorry you feel like this, I've been there and despite not being amazing right now I can say you'll feel better. Please be nice ti yourself. May be you can't sleep but rest, try to be in a comfortable space and reach out
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
418
Location
Philippines
What you are going through is not permanent. There will be better days for you. Create happy moments because happiness is a choice.

Music helps me. Music is therapeutic. Listen to good, uplifting and encouraging music on youtube.

Also, do what you love doing or what you are good at. It will do good to you and make you happy.
 
M

Marianda

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
1,037
Location
South America
Hi everyone,

hope whoever reads this is doing well.As you can see from the title I’m just not doing well. I’m so tired of living and being in pain.I feel hopeless like no matter how hard I try it’s never enough.

I’m constantly talking down to myself and things are just falling apart in my life. I barely get any sleep and I’m not motivated to do anything.I’m trying to get better but i always end up feeling depressed again
Not sleeping is a big problem and might be one of key issues that are making you feel so bad.

I suffer of relentless insomnia. There are days in which I'm only able to sleep 3 or 4 hours and when I wake up I feel depressed, exhausted and feel my world is falling apart and that's when I get these weird ideas of ending my life.

I tried several sleeping pills and I only get 3 or 4 hours of sleep. I don't know what to do.

Are you taking any medication?
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
885
Hi everyone,

hope whoever reads this is doing well.As you can see from the title I’m just not doing well. I’m so tired of living and being in pain.I feel hopeless like no matter how hard I try it’s never enough.

I’m constantly talking down to myself and things are just falling apart in my life. I barely get any sleep and I’m not motivated to do anything.I’m trying to get better but i always end up feeling depressed again
i know how tough depression is but you have to remember that the depression does and will pass.....i went throught periods of severe depression and i thought it would never get better and like you i was suicidal.....but what i would have wanted then is to know that depression will and does pass.....jsut take it easy as much as you can, watch the tv, relax and keep posting here on the forums for support
 
G

George10111

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2017
Messages
388
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. When I read posts like this I relate so much. I don’t have much but I’m going through the same thing in my own way. It’s beyond hard and for reasons even we may not understand. It’s important to reach out to your family or online community. That way someone can at least hear what you’re going through and you aren’t alone and so you can touch others who have or are going through the same
 
G

George10111

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2017
Messages
388
Don’t give up hope. I told my mom today that the things that keep me going are the little bits of good in my life, the trickle of light in this dark cold wet cave. Despite all the pain, I try to enjoy everything that’s good that I can, even chewing a piece of gum ‘my life has been and currently is to the point where even gum has brought me joy’ anything really can help. One day we will strike a path of prosperity in our unique individual ways and we’ll realize it was all worth it to hang in there for help.
 
Tawny

Tawny

Taking a break
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
5,928
Location
England
Hi everyone,

hope whoever reads this is doing well.As you can see from the title I’m just not doing well. I’m so tired of living and being in pain.I feel hopeless like no matter how hard I try it’s never enough.

I’m constantly talking down to myself and things are just falling apart in my life. I barely get any sleep and I’m not motivated to do anything.I’m trying to get better but i always end up feeling depressed again
How are you feeling today?
 
M

Marianda

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
1,037
Location
South America
i know how tough depression is but you have to remember that the depression does and will pass.....i went throught periods of severe depression and i thought it would never get better and like you i was suicidal.....but what i would have wanted then is to know that depression will and does pass.....jsut take it easy as much as you can, watch the tv, relax and keep posting here on the forums for support
For some people depression never pass. It becomes your "companion" for the rest of your life and you just have to learn to coexist with depression.

I've been living with depression and anxiety for more than half of my life. I don't think it will ever go away. There is some broken cable in my brain which is beyond repair. Anyway I managed to get a university degree and work and be functional but it has been very difficult.
 
C

CKM1234

Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
6
Location
NY
How are you feeling today?
I’m still not feeling to well honestly but I’m trying to take it a day at a time. I appreciate you for asking how I’m doing though
 
C

CKM1234

Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
6
Location
NY
Not sleeping is a big problem and might be one of key issues that are making you feel so bad.

I suffer of relentless insomnia. There are days in which I'm only able to sleep 3 or 4 hours and when I wake up I feel depressed, exhausted and feel my world is falling apart and that's when I get these weird ideas of ending my life.

I tried several sleeping pills and I only get 3 or 4 hours of sleep. I don't know what to do.

Are you taking any medication?
I’m sorry that you’re also dealing with this,
currently I’m not taking any medication but I’ve been thinking about going to my doctor about my issue of not getting enough rest.
 
C

CKM1234

Member
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
6
Location
NY
low self esteem can cause depression. and then depression can cause even lower self esteem. which can create a black hole you cant get out of. best thing to do if your depressed is make peace with it. you can still do everything you need to, just do it more slowly. acceptance of the current external situation stops the war inside us. then we can regain the power of our intuition and adaptation. which will help us to deal with the problem more effectively. you have to watch out for that sneaky ego, it always grabs onto whatever is happening and tries to create an identity out of it. because it has no answer to the question: who am i? It can't see the real answer, which is: infinity. You are not what happens to you and you are not what you are feeling. you are the infinite being which experiences all that. and has the power to overcome it.
Thank you I really appreciate it, right now it’s really tough but I’m trying my best to overcome this
 
Tawny

Tawny

Taking a break
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
5,928
Location
England
Medication helps me get through the days. Without it, i cannot cope. Have you tried it before?
 
OmniscientNihilist

OmniscientNihilist

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 9, 2020
Messages
1,778
Location
Canada
right now it’s really tough but I’m trying my best to overcome this
you are not what happens to you, externally or internally. both of those things are happening to you, you are experiencing them, so they cannot be what you are. you are the being that is experiencing those internal and external circumstances. dis-identify from all that stuff. absorb it and relax. ponder it and let the answers come to you naturally. let your natural intelligence and intuition see and experience the problems and they will begin to provide adaptations and solutions. this is how the master "does nothing but leaves nothing undone"
 
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