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Feeling very down

P

Peppermint

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I'm having physical health problems and there's a lot of activities I can't do. I had to stop working because of my health. I'm coping as best I can with this.

Today, a friend said some hurtful things, this shocked me. I didn't expect this at all. She brought up some things from the past just to upset me. I feel like this might be the end of our friendship and I'm feeling sad about it. With everything else that's going on I'm really going to miss her friendship.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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Can you tell her politely how hurt you felt about the things she said to you? I think you need to address delicately each hurtful thing she said to you. Respect her feelings as well when you tell her about each hurtful thing she said to you. This friendship might be able to be saved.
 
P

Peppermint

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In her last message she said goodbye and she doesn't want any further contact.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

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In her last message she said goodbye and she doesn't want any further contact.

Might be best to let it go. If someone was just offended by something you did, fine. It happens and friends get over it. But if she wants to terminate the relationship it's best to let it go. In my life I've had people who I thought were friends, but just stopped seeing me. I thought they were GOOD friends, but apparently they weren't.

It hurts, but you'll get over it. And it'll give you more time to find the kind of friends to invest time in-who'll be there for you when you're struggling.
 
Blooming

Blooming

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I am sorry to hear about your struggles. Perhaps you have to wait and see if she gives you an apology (a really good one that makes you trust her). If no apology and you still have this feeling that the friendship is over, let it be so. Don't degrade yourself to be the "one down" in a friendship. I think that losing a friend can be just as hurtful as having a message about the death of a loved one. Try to find articles about grief, so you understand your own feelings in the times to come.

May be it will be difficult for you to find new friends since you have your physical health issues (especially now in the corona time). But perhaps it is your health problems that can help you to find new friends in the long run. People often organize themselves in different patients organizations. If you haven't done that already, try it and go to their meetings when it is safe for you with regard to corona.

You can try to help out in different organizations as well (with the capacity you have) like at a church, Red cross, the Samaritans or similar. :hug1:
 
P

Peppermint

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I am sorry to hear about your struggles. Perhaps you have to wait and see if she gives you an apology (a really good one that makes you trust her). If no apology and you still have this feeling that the friendship is over, let it be so. Don't degrade yourself to be the "one down" in a friendship. I think that losing a friend can be just as hurtful as having a message about the death of a loved one. Try to find articles about grief, so you understand your own feelings in the times to come.

May be it will be difficult for you to find new friends since you have your physical health issues (especially now in the corona time). But perhaps it is your health problems that can help you to find new friends in the long run. People often organize themselves in different patients organizations. If you haven't done that already, try it and go to their meetings when it is safe for you with regard to corona.

You can try to help out in different organizations as well (with the capacity you have) like at a church, Red cross, the Samaritans or similar. :hug1:

Thank you, it does indeed feel a bit like a death. I don't think I didn't anything wrong at all, she just turned nasty. Its probably best if the friendship does end, unless she contacts me I will let it go.

Its quite difficult at the moment to make new friends, with my condition and the pandemic. Yes, I will look at volunteering, in the future.

Thanks again.
 
P

Peppermint

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Might be best to let it go. If someone was just offended by something you did, fine. It happens and friends get over it. But if she wants to terminate the relationship it's best to let it go. In my life I've had people who I thought were friends, but just stopped seeing me. I thought they were GOOD friends, but apparently they weren't.

It hurts, but you'll get over it. And it'll give you more time to find the kind of friends to invest time in-who'll be there for you when you're struggling.

Thanks. Yes, I intend to let it go unless she gets back to me and has a good explanation. I'm hurting a lot right now but I know through time it will get easier. Its just hard to make new friends in my current situation but it feels like I need to let this one go.
 
D

Dispatch

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Thanks. Yes, I intend to let it go unless she gets back to me and has a good explanation. I'm hurting a lot right now but I know through time it will get easier. Its just hard to make new friends in my current situation but it feels like I need to let this one go.
it’s too bad you can’t meet for coffee or something and talk it out ... sorry
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

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Thanks. Yes, I intend to let it go unless she gets back to me and has a good explanation. I'm hurting a lot right now but I know through time it will get easier. Its just hard to make new friends in my current situation but it feels like I need to let this one go.

Once you 'take command' and decide to let go, you'll feel less vulnerable. Everything depends on your actions, not those of somebody else. Whether you in fact make up with this person or go your separate ways, you just learned a painful-but valuable-lesson about dealing with people. They can hurt you, but you determine how long it has to tolerated. Once you decide to move on, you've removed a lot of the hurt.

I wish you the best of luck.
 
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Dispatch

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hmm sometimes it’s easier that way I guess idk ... did you know her long
 
P

Peppermint

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hmm sometimes it’s easier that way I guess idk ... did you know her long

2 years. She said cruel things and idk why. It's not the first time she was like this. Last time she said she was going through a bad time and was drunk and I forgave her. This time I think I better move on.
 
T

treasurebox

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You are hurting and it will be good for you to forgive your friend. Everyone mistakes and your friend may not have been aware that her words have hurt you.

It will be good to have a heart to heart talk with your friend so you can be totally healed and your friendship will get better.
 
P

Peppermint

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You are hurting and it will be good for you to forgive your friend. Everyone mistakes and your friend may not have been aware that her words have hurt you.

It will be good to have a heart to heart talk with your friend so you can be totally healed and your friendship will get better.

She doesn't want to talk or have further contact.
 
N

njmisdesperate

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I went through something similar with someone who was my, 'friend'. Life hurts, but u have to get through it :(
 

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