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Feeling unsafe in my head, depressed, anxious and nothing feels the same around me.

G

GabyM

Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Shepperton
On Friday last week, I had a surge of anxiety come over me and felt a wave of darkness fall over me and I felt very unsafe. This happened in my bedroom so now my home and bed feel unsafe to me and everywhere I go, this darkness and feeling of being unsafe follows me. I am so scared all the time and I am terrified I am beyond help and will be like this forever. I have had my anti depressants increased but I am scared they won’t kick in and nothing will ever feel the same. I am so scared all the time and just want I feel safe and like myself again.
 
wollie

wollie

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Sep 29, 2019
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390
Location
warwick
Hi Gaby.
Sorry you are feeling down, I am too, depression can be a bitch, have you tried the usual things like ditration, going for a walk?
Go out and give yourself a treat maybe.
All the best woolie.
 
G

GabyM

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Joined
Oct 20, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Shepperton
I’ve kept myself so busy because I don’t like being at home and I’m trying to stick to a routine as I’m not working as I was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia earlier this year and was hospitalised and my therapist thinks it’s a PTSD reaction to everything that has happened. I am in remission but still have to have treatment. But the treatment is not what is at the forefront of my mind at the moment. I just feel so scared, anxious and like the world feels like a different place. It feels like I am seeing things though different lenses to what I was a week an a half ago and I am just so scared. I have a husband who I love so much and I feel so guilt ridden putting him through this so I keep apologising all the time and I have been asked by the GP and samaritans if I would hurt myself or take my own life and I said I couldn’t because I love my husband too much I just couldn’t do it to him but I am so desperate in my head I just feel hopeless, frightened and that I will never recover.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
just wanted to welcome you to the forum and send you love
I hope you find this place useful
love Lu xxx
 
wollie

wollie

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warwick
Sorry you are feeling this way Gaby , I am not sure what you are scared of, is it the world in general? are you seeing a phyc because it maybe you need some thing to get you better.
One thing that should make you happy is that you are in remission and are going to get well physicaly, post a little more about your self so we can help you more,
all the best woolie.
 
G

GabyM

Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Shepperton
Thank you. Do you have any words of advice that could help me?
 
I

I love people

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Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
30
Location
LEAMINGTON SPA
On Friday last week, I had a surge of anxiety come over me and felt a wave of darkness fall over me and I felt very unsafe. This happened in my bedroom so now my home and bed feel unsafe to me and everywhere I go, this darkness and feeling of being unsafe follows me. I am so scared all the time and I am terrified I am beyond help and will be like this forever. I have had my anti depressants increased but I am scared they won’t kick in and nothing will ever feel the same. I am so scared all the time and just want I feel safe and like myself again.
 
I

I love people

Active member
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
30
Location
LEAMINGTON SPA
You're not alone, I know exactly what you mean. I'm experiencing the same thing. It's terrifying. Check out Dr. Claire Weekes book - 'Peace from Nervous Suffering' she describes this in detail. The meds will work, don't worry it will pass!
 
G

GabyM

Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Shepperton
My therapist and friend says I may be ‘disassociating’ so everything feels so different. The roads I have driven down multiple times feel different and unsafe, my kitchen feels different and unsafe. I am in touch with reality so don’t have psychosis but something in my brain has switched and keeps telling me everything is a threat, everything is dangerous, everything is different. Do you feel this too?
 
G

GabyM

Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Shepperton
Sorry you are feeling this way Gaby , I am not sure what you are scared of, is it the world in general? are you seeing a phyc because it maybe you need some thing to get you better.
One thing that should make you happy is that you are in remission and are going to get well physicaly, post a little more about your self so we can help you more,
all the best woolie.
Sorry you are feeling this way Gaby , I am not sure what you are scared of, is it the world in general? are you seeing a phyc because it maybe you need some thing to get you better.
One thing that should make you happy is that you are in remission and are going to get well physicaly, post a little more about your self so we can help you more,
all the best woolie.
Hi woolie.
ive been seeing a therapist for a good few years to date for various issues such as low self esteem and earlier trauma. I was admitted to hospital very suddenly back in May with a very rare type of leukemia so I initially panicked and became hysterical but my consultant said it was curable and probably the best leukemia to get. He said the imminent risk was hemorrhage so I needed to be admitted straight away and start treatment. I had all control taken away from me, all my home comforts, my identity had been stripped. I was so sleep deprived and didn’t know how much longer I could keep going as I was just so exhausted mentally and physically. I was convinced I would never leave hospital and felt incarcerated. I was in for three and a half weeks in total which may as well have been six months as time just stands still. It took me a small amount of time to readjust to being back at home but I didn’t feel unsafe in the way I do now. I have been attending treatment regularly at hospital as an outpatient which I don’t enjoy because it makes me feel very sick and there is a lot of waiting around for treatment to start as I have to wait for my blood test results to come back. I have five days of treatment in a row, then twice a week for the next three weeks and then I have a four week break until it starts again. The next round will be round three out of four. I was feeling ok in my head, almost got into the routine of treatment and being home. It’s not like I was vegetating, I was getting out and trying to see people as much as possible but it’s difficult when most people work during the week. The week before it happened, I hadn’t done much on the Tuesday or Wednesday so was feeling a bit low but not overwhelmed. Then on Friday, I went out for lunch with some old colleagues and had a lovely time. Came home and then in the evening I was watching tv in my room and suddenly started to feel very anxious about going blind, getting MS, getting restless legs and I suddenly felt very unsafe, dark and like the world had changed around me. I got my notebook and started writing down I felt like I was having a mental health crisis. My husband kept telling me everything was safe and nothing had changed but something in my head had flipped. I had two nights where I didnt sleep at all. I had erratic lucid thoughts that I found really disturbing like being on a golf course, my therapist being a different person, being on a staircase, being at pizza express. Totally random thoughts but the fact that they were so erratic made me panic so I had multiple panic attacks throughout both nights. I was on 10mg of citalopram and the doctor increased me to the dose I had been on for years (20mg). This was last Monday and have felt no effect. I have been taking diazepam sporadically but am trying to abstain as I don’t want to become dependent and have another issue to battle and I find it isnt it always effective. I’m sitting here writing this trying to control my panic breathing very heavily because I am so scared of the day ahead. I have been increased to 30mg of citalopram but I know they will take a while to work but I just feel like I am in the middle of the darkest of woods with no light anywhere and animals are attacking me telling me all the world around me is unsafe and not what it used to be. I know in my rational mind that everything is safe and nothing has changed but this dark mind is just taking over and telling me different. My friend who has PTSD says it definitely sounds like PTSD but I wasn’t thinking about my ordeal or treatment when it happened. My therapist said it’s like when your back goes. Your back can feel fine but something is happening underneath and then you move in a certain way and your back suddenly just goes. I am so scared of being sectioned or ending up in a psychiatric ward although everyone around me has assured me this won’t happen but I am just consumed with fear, darkness, anxiety and feeling unsafe in my head and that the world around me is unsafe and is not the same that it used to be. I’m so sorry for the long post but you said some more information would be helpful.
 
Hillman hunter

Hillman hunter

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Messages
113
Location
Stourbridge
On Friday last week, I had a surge of anxiety come over me and felt a wave of darkness fall over me and I felt very unsafe. This happened in my bedroom so now my home and bed feel unsafe to me and everywhere I go, this darkness and feeling of being unsafe follows me. I am so scared all the time and I am terrified I am beyond help and will be like this forever. I have had my anti depressants increased but I am scared they won’t kick in and nothing will ever feel the same. I am so scared all the time and just want I feel safe and like myself again.
 
Hillman hunter

Hillman hunter

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 26, 2019
Messages
113
Location
Stourbridge
Hello, that sounds very frightening, anxiety is like a vice around us,
I too get similar feelings,
Its so hard to know how to fight these fears isn't it,
Take care and hope you can find a way out if it,
 
E

EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
1,823
Location
USA
It will get better and you will feel normal again. You’ll forget what this even felt like. Just be kind to yourself and take one moment at a time. You will get through it.
 
G

GabyM

Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2019
Messages
10
Location
Shepperton
Thank you Esther. That’s what everyone is telling but I am in so much darkness I can’t see it. I never want to wake up in the mornings as it is just so unbearable. I just don’t know what is happening to me and want a definitive diagnosis.
 
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