Feeling unloved and completely alone in this world

I

indigo6

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 30, 2019
Messages
195
Location
UK
Just about everything is down to your parents. Biological isnt issue. It happens when biological too. Its that they have run out of patience, have their own issues and shortcomings character wise. I know someone who is 40 and her father is her servant. She makes use of that to. I have termed a crude expression...she cant go to the bathroom without him sitting outside it with the toilet paper. She speaks to him like hes the Butler. She has a mother. A fantastic fella who gives her an amzing life. a beautiful child. Its how it is.
You dont have the luxury of this, neither do nor did I and maybe a few others on here.
Our parents are to answer for alot in life. Thats absolute fact. You can read that anywhere.
The amount of times you mention them, the constant forgiving or accepting of the. In 2 minds almost but do understand that they love you, have materially supported you but are emotionally negligent. We can love people but we may not like them. I have been like this too. Its ok to say this.
Then as you are aware you have mh issues which havent been addressed consistantly? wouldyou say? Meds for 7 years isnt the holy grail.
Friends, you didnt miss much from what I see in socially successful outgoing so called normal people...they often have fake friends and good time buddies. Human relationships are so difficult.
The nicest people can struggle to find genuine people and in fact can often attract the very opposite.
I have often in my ponderings thought about being adopted, how those children feel. I have shed a tear for them. i had been an unplanned pregnancy a begrudged one.
All my years of thinking I know that just because a person is a parent, doesnt mean theyre grown up. That our parents and early years are crucial and its the luck of the draw-go back to the spoilt madam I mentioned. And just how is that your fault? It isnt.
Please find the right help and support. Do you have wellbing prescribers at your GP surgery? If so ask for one
 
Saffire

Saffire

Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Uk
Just about everything is down to your parents. Biological isnt issue. It happens when biological too. Its that they have run out of patience, have their own issues and shortcomings character wise. I know someone who is 40 and her father is her servant. She makes use of that to. I have termed a crude expression...she cant go to the bathroom without him sitting outside it with the toilet paper. She speaks to him like hes the Butler. She has a mother. A fantastic fella who gives her an amzing life. a beautiful child. Its how it is.
You dont have the luxury of this, neither do nor did I and maybe a few others on here.
Our parents are to answer for alot in life. Thats absolute fact. You can read that anywhere.
The amount of times you mention them, the constant forgiving or accepting of the. In 2 minds almost but do understand that they love you, have materially supported you but are emotionally negligent. We can love people but we may not like them. I have been like this too. Its ok to say this.
Then as you are aware you have mh issues which havent been addressed consistantly? wouldyou say? Meds for 7 years isnt the holy grail.
Friends, you didnt miss much from what I see in socially successful outgoing so called normal people...they often have fake friends and good time buddies. Human relationships are so difficult.
The nicest people can struggle to find genuine people and in fact can often attract the very opposite.
I have often in my ponderings thought about being adopted, how those children feel. I have shed a tear for them. i had been an unplanned pregnancy a begrudged one.
All my years of thinking I know that just because a person is a parent, doesnt mean theyre grown up. That our parents and early years are crucial and its the luck of the draw-go back to the spoilt madam I mentioned. And just how is that your fault? It isnt.
Please find the right help and support. Do you have wellbing prescribers at your GP surgery? If so ask for one
Thank you for your response!

Yes, I think you are absolutely right. There are no qualifications required to have kids, and there is no training provided on how to parent. So yes, it is pot luck parenting. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

I know intellectually that my parents love me and they worry about me constantly. It does not make me feel loved, valued or understood. I also understand that they have their own hang ups and issues and things that have moulded and shaped them into the somewhat neurotic parents that they are. I appreciate all they have done for me, and I know they really tried. That doesn’t change the fact that damage was done on all sides and that we all hurt immensely.

I have always been better at caring for others than for myself. So I have never been great at going to the doctors or asking for help. I have to be nearly dying before I go to a doctor. And even when you do go, there never seems to be enough time to talk about more than the medical issue you came in for.

I have also been really struggling with my health lately. I’ve had severe and incapacitating abdominal pain on a couple of occasions that makes me break out in fevers, sweats and vomiting. Literally leaves me unable to move as even breathing is painful. I went to the Dr about this last year and about 2 months ago. I had blood tests and an ultrasound but haven’t heard back from my GP. Is this normal? Or is no news good news? I haven’t a clue.

That is the second time I have been to see a GP in about 5 years. Both occasions were for the same abdominal agony.

I haven’t had any medical, psychological or wellbeing support pretty much ever.

I get my sertralin without a prescription from another country, so haven’t had any supervision there either. ( I have always been in charge of my own medication and I have been able to reduce my dose to once a week.
I would ideally like stop taking that too, but honestly I scared of becoming unhinged. So I just keeping my dose to a minimum at the moment.

I’ve been meaning to make a long appointment with my GP, but I go to work for 2 weeks at a time so scheduling is difficult. I literally won’t have time to go to the GP until next month. But I am trying to find help, just not very successfully at the moment.

I live in hope.
 
SunnyDaze

SunnyDaze

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 11, 2017
Messages
1,975
Location
USA
I'm sorry I misjudged @Saffire .I didn't know there was abuse and other things in your childhood.You very well could have CPTSD

I was going by when you said: "I come from a nice normal family, I even had a mostly great childhood".

And I wasn't saying that adoption isn't traumatic,just that according to diagnostic criteria it's not considered the type of trauma that would warrant the diagnosis.

I wish you well on your healing journey
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
380
I am glad things are improving for you. At least you have some connection with some other people, that is good for you. All of us need some type of support system. It is important to have love for your self, although it is somewhat difficult in my case.

It does make a big difference if you feel less isolated. Being isolated is a terrible feeling. I know how it feels, and it is quite bad. It is also not easy sometimes to make connections with others. I am glad you have enjoyed some success. It's great you met some nice people.

Take care, and let me know how you are doing. I am struggling currently.
 
Saffire

Saffire

Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Uk
Thank you for your kind words and support.

Tell me more about what’s going on with you at the moment. Hugs
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
380
I am in a rather difficult situation. I have been quite depressed and anxious. I have been living and working in Prague for the past 20 months. I am somewhat isolated here. I have a Czech wife but our relationship has been difficult. Like most people, she can't understand my depression. She has filed a divorce. I am not sure where I will go or what I will do. My mental state is not very strong, so it is difficult for me to make rational decisions. I have been working here for the past year and a half, although my ability to work has declined due to my poor mental state. I am receiving treatment, and my latest meds seem to help, but I am still not in a strong position. I am just trying to survive, really.

I hope things are far better for you than for me. But, we try to persevere and find some type of peace and solution. Mental health problems are really terrible. They tend to remove any joy one may experience in life.
 
Saffire

Saffire

Member
Joined
Apr 10, 2019
Messages
12
Location
Uk
I am in a rather difficult situation. I have been quite depressed and anxious. I have been living and working in Prague for the past 20 months. I am somewhat isolated here. I have a Czech wife but our relationship has been difficult. Like most people, she can't understand my depression. She has filed a divorce. I am not sure where I will go or what I will do. My mental state is not very strong, so it is difficult for me to make rational decisions. I have been working here for the past year and a half, although my ability to work has declined due to my poor mental state. I am receiving treatment, and my latest meds seem to help, but I am still not in a strong position. I am just trying to survive, really.

I hope things are far better for you than for me. But, we try to persevere and find some type of peace and solution. Mental health problems are really terrible. They tend to remove any joy one may experience in life.

Oh my friend, it sure does sound like things are really tough for you at the moment. I wish I could give you a bit of golden advice that could sort you right out. Unfortunately, it’s never that simple or easy.
All I can recommend is trying to do one or two things a day that you either enjoy or that connects you to others. Try taking a walk, or having a chat with someone while you wait in a queue. I know these aren’t big things, but they are things that help me to feel a little less lonely and isolated. (Sometime I can’t face others because I’m scared that if I talk to someone I may not be able to hold it together and end up breaking down in tears. Just embarrassing. But not every day is like that. )

Know that you have people here who are prepared to listen and understand exactly what you’re going through. Keep talking and keep sharing. Maybe together we can find a little understanding.

Sending you a big hug!
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
380
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I try to reach out to people. Mostly they are too busy to talk to frequently, I suppose you would call them acquaintances. I hope things are better for you! Take care, and thanks for sharing. I feel rather lonely and disconnected, but I keep trying.
 
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