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Feeling trapped by my parents due to Covid-19

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Pikibi

Member
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
5
Location
India
Hi,

I am a working professional from India (22, Female). I recently graduated and got a really good job in a really good city I interned in during college.

A little bit of background:
I have struggled with anxiety and severe depression for half my life. Been on medication twice. I’ve been better fo a couple of years, but right now the anxiety has started weighing on me again.

I have grown up in a very strict household. Being a girl, my parents have always been very paranoid about my safety. And have gotten very less freedom. Because of this I have grown very reluctant towards staying at home or constantly being told what to do.

When I was in school I kept looking forward to being able to go to university and stay in a hostel away from my parents. The freedom I got there was still really great but the down parts were: night curfews (8 pm), I was broke most the times, food sucked. But still preferred being in hostel than home. I made really good friends, made loads of memories, studied hard, got a really good job. I thought I had it all and was finally about to live my dream life - independent and free.

Guess what happened next? Corona. Freaking.Virus.

I was in my last semester when the pandemic began. came home. And since then haven’t had an ounce of happiness. Well maybe for a little while when I started WFH and bought lots of stuff. I have no friends here, its been 8 months. I’m 22 and I’m still not allowed to go out of the house on my own(new house, new area, indian parents).

I keep on waiting for something to happen, so as to end this pandemic. But there is no end in sight. My parents just won’t let me move out. I know they want the best for me. But it has been 8 months since I’ve interacted with anyone other than my parents.

And my parents are very stubborn and will not listen to me whatsoever. That has led me to find work arounds and be a rebel. Talking to them doesn’t help

What shall I do? Just accept defeat and give up the idea of freedom? Because I don’t see the pandemic ending anytime soon.
 
P

Pikibi

Member
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
5
Location
India
I take it your lost your job because of the pandemic and are therefore not economically independent?
I have my job, I’m working from home. I’m financially independent but I’m physically trapped at home
 
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Pikibi

Member
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
5
Location
India
I don’t mean that I wanna go out and roam around and risk my health. It’s just that I don’t wanna be bossed around the entire time. And my house is very noisy and very loud. It makes me very anxious. I just wanna live alone for once and get some peace, with nobody sitting on my head the whole time.
 
S

Sugold

Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2020
Messages
17
Location
Switzerland
Hi,

I am a working professional from India (22, Female). I recently graduated and got a really good job in a really good city I interned in during college.

A little bit of background:
I have struggled with anxiety and severe depression for half my life. Been on medication twice. I’ve been better fo a couple of years, but right now the anxiety has started weighing on me again.

I have grown up in a very strict household. Being a girl, my parents have always been very paranoid about my safety. And have gotten very less freedom. Because of this I have grown very reluctant towards staying at home or constantly being told what to do.

When I was in school I kept looking forward to being able to go to university and stay in a hostel away from my parents. The freedom I got there was still really great but the down parts were: night curfews (8 pm), I was broke most the times, food sucked. But still preferred being in hostel than home. I made really good friends, made loads of memories, studied hard, got a really good job. I thought I had it all and was finally about to live my dream life - independent and free.

Guess what happened next? Corona. Freaking.Virus.

I was in my last semester when the pandemic began. came home. And since then haven’t had an ounce of happiness. Well maybe for a little while when I started WFH and bought lots of stuff. I have no friends here, its been 8 months. I’m 22 and I’m still not allowed to go out of the house on my own(new house, new area, indian parents).

I keep on waiting for something to happen, so as to end this pandemic. But there is no end in sight. My parents just won’t let me move out. I know they want the best for me. But it has been 8 months since I’ve interacted with anyone other than my parents.

And my parents are very stubborn and will not listen to me whatsoever. That has led me to find work arounds and be a rebel. Talking to them doesn’t help

What shall I do? Just accept defeat and give up the idea of freedom? Because I don’t see the pandemic ending anytime soon.
You will get nowhere if you only keep waiting for something good to happen (like the pandemic stopping itself like magic). I also come from a similar culture in which it is not made easy for the child to stand up against the parents, so I get that it must be a lot more of a struggle to you. But if you really wish to make your life, your situation ANY better - you must STAND for what you want and what you wish to change. And I'm really sorry to say this beforehand, but you might be left there alone to solve this issue (if you have friends who support you, that's nice but still). It will depend all on you to face this challenge. Yes it probably will turn ugly. Yes, it probably will hurt a lot. Yes, someone will be (verbally or emotionally) hurt in the process. But do not forget that it is your life, your damn right and that you take responsibility as an adult for yourself. I wish you all the best and all luck out there.
 
Intareseid

Intareseid

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 7, 2020
Messages
82
Location
Somewhere I don't belong.
I have my job, I’m working from home. I’m financially independent but I’m physically trapped at home
Then there's something I'm not understanding here.

When you say "physically" do you mean that literally? as in you would be physically prevented from leaving if you tried to?

If not, then if money is not the issue, what's preventing you from just leaving and renting out some place?
 
P

Pikibi

Member
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
5
Location
India
Then there's something I'm not understanding here.

When you say "physically" do you mean that literally? as in you would be physically prevented from leaving if you tried to?

If not, then if money is not the issue, what's preventing you from just leaving and renting out some place?
My parents. They are scared of the pandemic and they think if I stay at home with them then I'll be safe. They want me to keep staying with them until "the situation gets better".

If I just choose to walk out, they will create a HUGE deal out of it. They say things like "Oh, she doesn't like living with us, she can't tolerate us anymore" when I talk about leaving. And if I do leave against their wishes they probably might just disown me and brand me as a "disrespectful" "child".
 
P

Pikibi

Member
Joined
Nov 21, 2020
Messages
5
Location
India
My parents. They are scared of the pandemic and they think if I stay at home with them then I'll be safe. They want me to keep staying with them until "the situation gets better".

If I just choose to walk out, they will create a HUGE deal out of it. They say things like "Oh, she doesn't like living with us, she can't tolerate us anymore" when I talk about leaving. And if I do leave against their wishes they probably might just disown me and brand me as a "disrespectful" "child".
So yeah it would be the same thing as being physically trapped. The amount of crap they'll put on me for this is insane. You can't imagine the things they have said for the silliest of things. And always made me feel that I'm the one at fault and forced me to apologize (even when I was physically unwell due to my depression). That has triggered so much self-hatred in me.
I don't know if choosing to walk out would be worth all the pain that is to follow.
 
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