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Feeling to not be in myself.

memeLRXDD

memeLRXDD

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AHHH. I woke up this morning, feeling "itchy"
Not a skin scratching, but I feel like I can't be me today. I feel like Want to dig out my Self from a Situation I feel so trapped in. It can't Change or move. I want to go for a Drive. let let me Find a Ounce of Peace at least. but I can't, I have no money, car or friends. Stuck living with a Toxic parent, I just want to move! I really can't 😭 I just can't deal with everything anymore. I feel like a loser. I just can't do anything right. I'm just holding on for my kids, I feel like a failure. I'm desperately Hanging on to Hope. I'm so tired.😭😭 Idn what to do. anymore. I feel so sick. I just😭😭
 
M

MK123

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please hold on, your kids need you, I lost my mum to suicide, and I'm literally not surviving without her, and your not a failure at all your clearly amazing dealing with your kids and dealing with a toxic parent
you sound like a super-parent- the best of luck gorgeous xx
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Hi Meme, it sounds like you are having a really hard time at the moment. Are you suicidal or self-harming?

You are right to keep holding on to hope for your children. Do you live with your parent/s and children also? It sounds like it is difficult living with your parents.

Are you able to go for walks on your own or with the children?
 
Tawny

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I wonder if itchy is stress? sometimes our body can feel strange when we are stressed. I have developed spots before due to stress so it can have a big impact on the body. Try to take deep breaths, slow breaths in 1 2 3 out 1 2 3 when you are laying there feeling itchy, that is what i do and sometimes it helps.
 
Tawny

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  • Lifeline: 645 2800 (868) 645 2800

This is a suicide line in Trinidad, i don't know if there is someone you can talk to anonymously. We have the samaritans in the UK and they just listen when people are struggling and try to help.
 
memeLRXDD

memeLRXDD

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please hold on, your kids need you, I lost my mum to suicide, and I'm literally not surviving without her, and your not a failure at all your clearly amazing dealing with your kids and dealing with a toxic parent
you sound like a super-parent- the best of luck gorgeous xx
Thank you. I'm really trying. Holding on to my dearest
 
memeLRXDD

memeLRXDD

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Trinidad
Hi Meme, it sounds like you are having a really hard time at the moment. Are you suicidal or self-harming?

You are right to keep holding on to hope for your children. Do you live with your parent/s and children also? It sounds like it is difficult living with your parents.

Are you able to go for walks on your own or with the children?
Only my dad. my mom has passed away. 1 year ago. My dad is extremely difficult. He lies to everyone about me, Talks about me all the time. in a bad way. Something I do, even if its nothing, bothers him. He convinces everyone to be on his side, so they can say what they want to me. it really frustrating. I still try to be kind but its always something & it drives me insane. They seek for me on Social media. if i move, All how they reach to get in Contact with me, to know where I am. I'm 24
I always feel stalked ( not physically) & followed. All this nonsense because my husband is not the person of the same race as me, Black. I'm only here by him because after my mother death, I thought he changed. Opened his eyes a Bit. but like it has only gone for worst.He invited me here. I say maybe we can mend our fall outs & try to live as one & say Family Values for the kids. But it can't be so. He always implies how I'm homeless or have nothing. its difficult as hell
 
memeLRXDD

memeLRXDD

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Messages
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Location
Trinidad
Only my dad. my mom has passed away. 1 year ago. My dad is extremely difficult. He lies to everyone about me, Talks about me all the time. in a bad way. Something I do, even if its nothing, bothers him. He convinces everyone to be on his side, so they can say what they want to me. it really frustrating. I still try to be kind but its always something & it drives me insane. They seek for me on Social media. if i move, All how they reach to get in Contact with me, to know where I am. I'm 24
I always feel stalked ( not physically) & followed. All this nonsense because my husband is not the person of the same race as me, Black. I'm only here by him because after my mother death, I thought he changed. Opened his eyes a Bit. but like it has only gone for worst.He invited me here. I say maybe we can mend our fall outs & try to live as one & say Family Values for the kids. But it can't be so. He always implies how I'm homeless or have nothing. its difficult as hell

I'm not self harming but i do feel suicidal. It remains a thought, an impulsive feeling. I can't face harming myself because my son will ask why. It may make him sad. So I go to the bathroom & cry it out.
 
memeLRXDD

memeLRXDD

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Messages
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Location
Trinidad
I wonder if itchy is stress? sometimes our body can feel strange when we are stressed. I have developed spots before due to stress so it can have a big impact on the body. Try to take deep breaths, slow breaths in 1 2 3 out 1 2 3 when you are laying there feeling itchy, that is what i do and sometimes it helps.
Thanks You🙏
 
NWiddi

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I don't know how helpful these links will be but we're concerned so I'll post them all the same.

It may help to have a look at these two pages on the forum: Suicidal Crisis and Mental Health Forum - Getting Help about what to do if you're feeling suicidal, or if you need emergency help. I hope you can use the forum for support during this difficult time.

If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.

For Trinidad and Tobago I've found this website.


Which I took from this page Directory Search | Befrienders
 
Tawny

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Is there something you could do to make life better for you?
It is a difficult situation, i cannot think what to suggest
 
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