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Feeling terrible

S

Still Scarred

Guest
Well as I said in my intro post the main reason I am here is because i lost my entire support system in one go.
It was a self harm help forum. I'd been on there for more than two years and all my friends were on there.

So I am left without support and I feel like I am drowning.

I don't have a job right now so all day everyday I am just sitting and doing nothing because there isn't anything to do in my town.

I'm really struggling and not really sure where to go from here. Yesterday I cried like all day and I'm just really not coping.

Please, if anyone is online now, please help me! :cry:
 
L

lonelyandlost

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2009
Messages
233
Location
Bradford
Hi
I am sorry you feel so alone and that everything has been wiped away from you. I hope you find friends here.

Can you go to your GP/Dr and get some support in place to get you through the hardest times?
 
S

Still Scarred

Guest
Thank you so much for replying.

I don't have a job at the moment so I can't afford my GP.

I am starting to take St John's Wort again. It didn't do anything last time but it can't hurt right? And we had it in the cupboard so its free.

I'm trying to keep busy today but I still feel awful.

I'm trying to stay away from my implements but it is hard. :(
 
L

lonelyandlost

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2009
Messages
233
Location
Bradford
St John's Wort is good and hope it does work for you this time.
Well done for keeping away from things that hurt you

What is a good form of distraction for you? I enjoy making things and drawing. I can't raw, but it does release some tensions for me..

Maybe try writing al your feelings down and get them out of your system for a while..

I see you are in Australia.. is it night there yet? Are you able to get some rest...also try and do something for you, have a soak

Do you meditate? That is free and you can learn it yourself, it could also be a distraction finding out how to do it

hugs
 
S

Still Scarred

Guest
Thank yo uso much for replying. I have been distracting all day but I feel no better. I am just putting off the inevitable.

I don't mean to be mean, I'm sure you guys are lovely, and I will stick around here, but I miss my old forum. I haven't cried today but I've been so lonely without all my friends from there. This is so unfair. I was unfairly banned and it is making me so depressed to be without my only support system. :cry:

I'm sorry to be so pathetic. This place is just so different. Not bad or anything. But the old forum was my home. It was my safe haven. I'd been there over two years and knew the place inside out.

It also have like a 6 page distraction list which I can't access anymore :cry: When I was feeling this bad I used to go through every single distraction.

It had information on where to get help. It had a million distracting games we all used to play together, a chat section, and the forums were broken down into "Crisis" and other less immediate ones. Here I just have no idea. And when I'm this triggered I usually stay away from the crisis ones because I find them hard to deal with.

And also, despite you people being incredibly lovely, I'm finding it hard to answer all the questions being asked. On the old forum people knew me so they didn't have to ask where I was from or what professional help I have.

Sorry I'm just finding this incredibly difficult.
Sorry I'm so pathetic and horrible. :cry:

xSSx
 
S

Still Scarred

Guest
Please is anyone around? I'm just struggling massively.

I'm trying not to cut because my cousin is coming on sunday and i don't want her to see me with wounds.

I distracted and distracted but I feel no better. Especially having lost my support.

I'm not sure I can live for much longer feeling as bad as i do.

I need to sleep but I'm terrified of going to my room because all my implements are there.

Please help me :cry:
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Hi SS

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so low.

As a distraction why don't you try writing a thread about distractions on this forum that you recall from the last forum, and add to it when you remember some more? There are a few threads on here about distractions too if you haven't read them yet? You might find some ones you haven't come across before that may help.

I wrote one about a self harm emergency box. If you haven't made one already it might be worth distracting yourself by making yourself one, then using it. It can carry on distracting you, as you can keep changing the contents, or decorate a new box to pop all your things in. Practical things you can do to help you.

The thread is here if you haven't read it already?

http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/showthread.php?t=4791

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened on your last forum. But sometimes these things that seem so negative at the time can have positive repercussions. Here you will get the opportunity to meet new friends, and perhaps help others by using some of what you have learned from your previous forum here. You may find this site helpful because we talk about a whole range of MH issues, not just self harm and often SH is a part of other MH issues, that you may not have had an opportunity to discuss there.

I know you said that you don't want to go through introductions again, but a positive in this is that again writing a bit about yourself and the help you are receiving might serve as a good distraction.

We have a 'two pence worth' forum on here too, where people discuss a whole variety of issues. I find it useful if I want to have a chat about something that can be completely unrelated to MH as a bit of fresh air and again as a distraction. Sometimes these chats really stretch my brain and can while away a good hour or two if it is about a topic I am really interested in, or passionate about!

With regards to your implements in your room. Is there anywhere else you can keep them, so you are not tempted to use them when you want to sleep? For me a step forward to stopping my SH was getting rid of all my implements. I did it one by one, step by step. I kept saying to myself that I can always get more if I need them again. But having to go to the shops or going looking for them really helped because it allowed me more time to really think about what I was doing, and to change my mind, or speak with others about my feelings. Having them on hand, made it all to easy for me, and harder to give it up. Perhaps you can replace your implements with your SH emergency box which contains your distractions.

I think it is so great that you want to stop SH-ing though, that is such a good step, half the battle is being ready to change and to try healthier alternatives to coping. It IS possible to stop SH-ing. I haven't self harmed in over ten years, but I still do get the occassional urges, where I have to purposefully apply the techniques and distractions to prevent myself from doing it. But for me it does get easier to not do it the longer I go without doing it, and using healthier strategies to cope with my feelings.

I hope that helps in some way :)
 
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