Hi SS
I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so low.
As a distraction why don't you try writing a thread about distractions on this forum that you recall from the last forum, and add to it when you remember some more? There are a few threads on here about distractions too if you haven't read them yet? You might find some ones you haven't come across before that may help.
I wrote one about a self harm emergency box. If you haven't made one already it might be worth distracting yourself by making yourself one, then using it. It can carry on distracting you, as you can keep changing the contents, or decorate a new box to pop all your things in. Practical things you can do to help you.
The thread is here if you haven't read it already?
http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/showthread.php?t=4791
I'm so sorry to hear about what happened on your last forum. But sometimes these things that seem so negative at the time can have positive repercussions. Here you will get the opportunity to meet new friends, and perhaps help others by using some of what you have learned from your previous forum here. You may find this site helpful because we talk about a whole range of MH issues, not just self harm and often SH is a part of other MH issues, that you may not have had an opportunity to discuss there.
I know you said that you don't want to go through introductions again, but a positive in this is that again writing a bit about yourself and the help you are receiving might serve as a good distraction.
We have a 'two pence worth' forum on here too, where people discuss a whole variety of issues. I find it useful if I want to have a chat about something that can be completely unrelated to MH as a bit of fresh air and again as a distraction. Sometimes these chats really stretch my brain and can while away a good hour or two if it is about a topic I am really interested in, or passionate about!
With regards to your implements in your room. Is there anywhere else you can keep them, so you are not tempted to use them when you want to sleep? For me a step forward to stopping my SH was getting rid of all my implements. I did it one by one, step by step. I kept saying to myself that I can always get more if I need them again. But having to go to the shops or going looking for them really helped because it allowed me more time to really think about what I was doing, and to change my mind, or speak with others about my feelings. Having them on hand, made it all to easy for me, and harder to give it up. Perhaps you can replace your implements with your SH emergency box which contains your distractions.
I think it is so great that you want to stop SH-ing though, that is such a good step, half the battle is being ready to change and to try healthier alternatives to coping. It IS possible to stop SH-ing. I haven't self harmed in over ten years, but I still do get the occassional urges, where I have to purposefully apply the techniques and distractions to prevent myself from doing it. But for me it does get easier to not do it the longer I go without doing it, and using healthier strategies to cope with my feelings.
I hope that helps in some way
