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Feeling stuck in therapy

StillFighting

StillFighting

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Messages
508
Hi, I'm not even sure if this is the right forum to post this, didn't know where to post it.. but I think it does have to do with getting my life back.

About a year ago I was diagnosed by my (then) psychologist with generalized anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder. He referred me to a psychotherapist, because he was only trained for short-term therapy, and apparently I was a more difficult case.

I've been seeing this psychotherapist for about 9 months. When I asked him about my diagnosis recently, he said I have issues with anxiety, stress, mixed with depressive episodes. I didn't get a clear reply about the borderline, but anyway... that's not the issue.

The issue is.. I don't feel like I'm being helped. It's been 9 months, and I don't really feel like we're progressing. And I've been so afraid to admit it.. but I think this might have something to do with the fact that I don't really like him. I can't pinpoint it exactly.. but sometimes I'm wondering if we're not a good match.

I didn't want to admit this... even to myself... because I hated the idea of changing therapists. The last 6 years I have switched many different therapists; and every time, it was dismaying, starting from the beginning, all over again. I was tired of this; I was really really tired. And because of that.. I never, not once, did I allow myself to think/examine if we're a good match, if I can work with him, if I believe this will lead me somewhere.

And I hate to admit this also.. but I went to this psychotherapist thinking "This is the last one I'll ever have. I'm never changing again, so I'll have to work with him".

But I'm not sure I can figure out a way to work with him. He often makes me angry, and I don't even feel comfortable sharing these emotions with him. I don't feel comfortable sharing many other things with him, and.. I'm not even sure why.

I feel stuck. There's a lot more to it.. but it's all so mixed in my head.. that's all I can say right now.
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
I know you're reluctant to but, from what you've said, it does sound like you need to change therapists.

You can't say you've not given it a good try but really, after nine months of it not working, I don't see that it's going to get better.

I suppose it depends on whether you can cope with a new therapist and the thought of starting over again. I know it doesn't sound appealing but it still seems like a better option than continuing with one with whom you don't really get along.

I hope you manage to get things sorted.
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

ACCOUNT CLOSED
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Jul 28, 2010
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I am so sorry you are struggling with your therapist. I think that Purple Chaos is right. You do need to find a therapist that fits with your personality, someone you can get along with. If your current therapist makes you feel angry, that is only going to cause you more stress and hinder your healing process. I had a psychiatrist for 7 years that I really didn't like, but my gp wouldn't refer me to a different psychiatrist, and I know it didn't benefit me one bit. I now have a wonderful psychiatrist and a fabulous therapist, and compared to where I was at emotionally last summer, I am progressing in leaps and bounds. I know it is hard to keep looking for a therapist, and to keep re-telling your story. In fact, it's plain exhausting. But once you do find a therapist who is the right fit, it will all be worth it. I really hope you can find someone who is the right fit for you. It really can make all the difference in the world.
 
StillFighting

StillFighting

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Messages
508
Thank you both for your replies. I realize that change may be for the best. These are my thoughts:

- I am needed reluctant to start over, have to tell my story again to someone else, and so on. Yes, it would be exhausting; I'm not so hesitant because of this I think.

- Most psychotherapists in my country have long waiting lists. Not all of them, but a lot. It would require some energy to contact them and find out who hasn't and who I can see immediately. That's one reason I am hesitant.

- What if I do not find someone immediately? What if this requires changing multiple therapists, and a long period of time? I am in the process of looking for a job, and I am stuck there too; I'm afraid that if I'm in the process of finding therapists, it may hinder me further in the job hunting too. (However, I am not very active in that now anyway...). Hm... is this some kind of manifestation of my anxiety? I wonder...

- I am terrified of telling my current psychotherapist I want to leave :/ I'm sorry if it sounds stupid, but I have no idea how to tell him. I don't know if this is another manifestation of my anxiety...
 
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