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Feeling so lonely in my relationship

L

lola43

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2013
Messages
5
Please can anyone give me some advise.
My 2 year partner and I have recently moved to a new country to start a fresh life. We had a few issues back home with girls calling him in the night and text messages at all hours, my boyfriend is really hot and a body builder so he knows he is, however he is a very gentle and kind man and that's who I fell in love with.
I have seen messages from girls on his phone and his replies which really hurt but I don't think he actually cheated on me as he was always where he said he would be, when I checked. I just cant get the jealousy out of my head, I know girls look at him all the time and they are always touching his arms cos they are so big, but it hurts me and I feel so insecure about losing him. I hate feeling jealous its not my way but I cant break this cycle. Every time he goes out the door im wondering what is he doing ,where is he, who is he with.
please, please help me.:low:
 
B

BennyB

Guest
Is he upset with your behaviour ? I only ask because I'm trying to under stand something
 
L

lola43

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2013
Messages
5
Is he upset with your behaviour ? I only ask because I'm trying to under stand something
Yes he gets very angry and tries to pass the problem back to being my fault. then he just changes the subject
 
B

BennyB

Guest
I have a misses that is jealous and I think it's cos she cares about me :) but you need to think if he's going to cheat then he will find a way so it's not worth worrying about . If he loves you and you love him that's all that matters , he might just be a flirt and it's natural for him to look for approval from other people but that does not mean that he loves you less or that he will ever cheat
 
L

lola43

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2013
Messages
5
I have a misses that is jealous and I think it's cos she cares about me :) but you need to think if he's going to cheat then he will find a way so it's not worth worrying about . If he loves you and you love him that's all that matters , he might just be a flirt and it's natural for him to look for approval from other people but that does not mean that he loves you less or that he will ever cheat
I thank you for that, it's nice to get a man's perspective on it. How do I stop feeling so bad though. it's pushing us further apart, he is a flirt and he loves the attention I am struggling learning how to deal with it. what I don't see doesn't hurt me, but when it comes into our home I don't know how to deal with that.:(:confused:
 
B

BennyB

Guest
It is a very hard thing to deal with. But maybe tell him that your trying to not be so jealous but he needs to try not to act like that around you to make it easier for you not to be . Hopefully it will make him happier if he thinks that your not blaming him and that your trying to make things better . But for people like that they don't see there self doing it so maybe tell him how you thing he is doing it to :)
 
L

lola43

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2013
Messages
5
It is a very hard thing to deal with. But maybe tell him that your trying to not be so jealous but he needs to try not to act like that around you to make it easier for you not to be . Hopefully it will make him happier if he thinks that your not blaming him and that your trying to make things better . But for people like that they don't see there self doing it so maybe tell him how you thing he is doing it to :)
Thank you, your very kind to offer advise to me. I will try my best. :thanks:
 
mrlaurel

mrlaurel

Well-known member
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6,378
Location
west mids
Every time he goes out the door im wondering what is he doing ,where is he, who is he with.
please, please help me.:low:
hi,

many people go through this, the only way forwards is by giving him the trust he wants and needs.

It seem drastic moving to another country and running away can't fix it. People choose if they want to cheat, and being in the UK or the USA (sorry no idea where you are) won't change that.

I would look at why you feel so jealous? and explain to him what it dose andhow it makes you feel.

what ages are you? as you get older in my world I have gotton less jealous and even though I still ahve to hadle it in my head I try and give women the repsect/distance they need for their own lives, if that makes any sense. MY jealousy if my problem, not thiers.

I do wish you the best of luck and I hope you get that life you clearly both want..

good luck.
 
L

lola43

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2013
Messages
5
hi,

many people go through this, the only way forwards is by giving him the trust he wants and needs.

It seem drastic moving to another country and running away can't fix it. People choose if they want to cheat, and being in the UK or the USA (sorry no idea where you are) won't change that.

I would look at why you feel so jealous? and explain to him what it dose andhow it makes you feel.

what ages are you? as you get older in my world I have gotton less jealous and even though I still ahve to hadle it in my head I try and give women the repsect/distance they need for their own lives, if that makes any sense. MY jealousy if my problem, not thiers.

I do wish you the best of luck and I hope you get that life you clearly both want..

good luck.
I know what your saying ! we are both in our 40's, so I feel so stupid feeling this way, I should know better right. I just cant get the thought of him with another woman out of my head as I love him so much, it eats away at me, it's like I play little scenarios out in my head then I start to feel sick and my heart just sinks. I have been hurt so many times in the past I am really struggling to accept he wont do it too.
 
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