Feeling so alone

C

Cleopatra_

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Joined
Nov 24, 2018
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39
Location
Ireland
#1
Hi there everyone,

This is my first time posting here. I hope ye are all doing as well as ye can be. I guess I'm posting here because I was recently diagnosed with BPD. I struggle with loneliness and feeling like I don't have anyone in the world, even though I do have a couple of friends and a partner. I spend most of my time checking my phone to see if someone has messaged me and I get agitated when I see that nobody has. On the other hand if I have a few messages at times I feel overwhelmed like everyone wants something from me that I can't give. I guess I'm just looking for someone to say "Yeah I get that".

Thanks,

Cleo
 
BPDevil

BPDevil

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Nov 7, 2018
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798
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Hell
#2
I used to feel and do this all the time, I found that it stemmed from wanting to be wanted by specific people I cared the most about

Usually others associate feeling lonely with wanting more friends, but that wasn't the case. If someone I wasn't that close too talked to me I would still feel incredibly lonely, but if someone I wanted attention from did it would make my day, so I do get it

I guess that's why they say quality over quantity
 
soulsearcher

soulsearcher

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Dec 19, 2016
Messages
1,704
#3
for a start welcome to the forum :)

im married and i have BPD but i also suffer from loneliness,
i think with BPD sometimes you want people around and sometimes you just dont
 
C

Cleopatra_

Active member
Joined
Nov 24, 2018
Messages
39
Location
Ireland
#4
I used to feel and do this all the time, I found that it stemmed from wanting to be wanted by specific people I cared the most about

Usually others associate feeling lonely with wanting more friends, but that wasn't the case. If someone I wasn't that close too talked to me I would still feel incredibly lonely, but if someone I wanted attention from did it would make my day, so I do get it

I guess that's why they say quality over quantity
Thank you so much for your reply BPDevil. You are so right, if someone I don't really want to talk to messages me then I still feel lonely but if it's someone I care about it lifts my whole mood.

for a start welcome to the forum :)

im married and i have BPD but i also suffer from loneliness,
i think with BPD sometimes you want people around and sometimes you just dont
Thank you very much for the welcome Soulsearcher :)
Yeah I guess there are times when I want to hide away from the world and I can't face people but I still feel alone and then there are times that I'm craving attention. Unfortunately it mostly seems to be male attention that I'm craving too :redface:
 
soulsearcher

soulsearcher

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Dec 19, 2016
Messages
1,704
#5
Thank you so much for your reply BPDevil. You are so right, if someone I don't really want to talk to messages me then I still feel lonely but if it's someone I care about it lifts my whole mood.



Thank you very much for the welcome Soulsearcher :)
Yeah I guess there are times when I want to hide away from the world and I can't face people but I still feel alone and then there are times that I'm craving attention. Unfortunately it mostly seems to be male attention that I'm craving too :redface:
i think its human nature to crave attention and to be feel like youre wanted,
but then i also understand the need to have your 'own time'

i think just take it as it comes and take each day at a time
 
C

Cleopatra_

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Joined
Nov 24, 2018
Messages
39
Location
Ireland
#6
i think its human nature to crave attention and to be feel like youre wanted,
but then i also understand the need to have your 'own time'

i think just take it as it comes and take each day at a time
Thank you Soulsearcher. I hope you're feeling a bit better today. I'm trying to keep myself occupied so I stop checking my phone but it's tough. I just hate that my moods depend on who contacts me or who doesn't.
 
soulsearcher

soulsearcher

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Dec 19, 2016
Messages
1,704
#7
Thank you Soulsearcher. I hope you're feeling a bit better today. I'm trying to keep myself occupied so I stop checking my phone but it's tough. I just hate that my moods depend on who contacts me or who doesn't.
i feel like that at times too

im still feeling low and suicidal,
ive always been suicidal since my teens so its not something new
 
tragicpink

tragicpink

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Nov 22, 2018
Messages
45
Location
Canada
#12
hi welcome to the forum<3 i also have bpd and i completely understand this need
 
qwerty1234

qwerty1234

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Joined
Nov 9, 2018
Messages
457
#13
Hi Cleopatra I am so extremely needy lately and check my phone all the time. In my case I have a few friends, no so, and feel like I am clinging to absolutely everyone I meet. The friends I have aren't enough. For a while I was feeling better and my emailing slowed, but now I am just emailing new people to the same level I did earlier.

I need to be allowed to go crazy I guess.... I was bulimic for 15 years and it is like that, way worse than when I was a teenager.

Friends I have emailed before are starting to slow their interaction with me, so like a vampire or zombie I am having to reach farther and farther out to satiate the need.
 

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