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Feeling sick in a happy relationship

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Ally

Member
Joined
Mar 18, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Germany
I have found a boyfriend not too long ago, and I am very happy, I never felt this comfortable with somebody before. He is caring and accepts me the way I am while trying to help me change what I want to change, but never forces me to do anything.

However, as our relationship got more serious, i started feeling sick a lot. This happened before during other relationships, but this is completely different..
Before i just felt like I was lying to my partner because I didn't really like them the way they seemed to like me (I felt more comfortable as friends), so I felt a little unwell in the morning and just didn't want to eat so much.

This time I am sure, that my feelings are sincere and I do want this kind of relationship. I always enjoy spending time with him, but the more I do, the worse I feel, I couldn't sleep at all last night because I constantly felt like I would have to throw up at any second. And even though I stopped shivering, I still feel extremely nauseous, eventhough, it has been several hours since I came home.

Before, I could at least tell, what the problem was, but right now I have no idea. I am not even scared or worried, and I feel like it isn't his fault at all, so i don't understand what is making me feel this way and what I am supposed to do.
 
H

Helena1

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
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Oct 11, 2014
Messages
10,107
Location
UK
How long have you been feeling this way?
Maybe you just need to take it slow with the amount of time you spend with him.
 
A

Ally

Member
Joined
Mar 18, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Germany
How long have you been feeling this way?
Maybe you just need to take it slow with the amount of time you spend with him.
It started about a week ago and we did see each other every day since then. We won't meet the next two days, so maybe I can see if I just need more time to myself.
Thank you very much :)
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
4,005
Location
Nowhere
yes what Helena said

I can see myself feeling like that in a relationship
ive been on my own for quite a while now
and I might feel overwhelmed
if I was around someone all the time
even if they were ideal for me

if he's the way you've described
he should be fine with you making more space

:loveshower:
 
M

Mary26

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
175
Location
USA
It could be that you don't feel comfortable being happy or you don't feel you deserve it or you don't trust it. Or it could be that the relationship is moving too fast. You're obviously having a strong reaction so what is your body telling you? Maybe turn off your thoughts for a moment so you can just listen.
 
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Sarabi_Gyarados

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
226
Location
UK
See if you can slow things down. It might be that you are afraid of the intensity/speed of the relationship.
 
A

Ally

Member
Joined
Mar 18, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Germany
A little update, I do feel a lot better and completely comfortable around him now.

yes what Helena said

I can see myself feeling like that in a relationship
ive been on my own for quite a while now
and I might feel overwhelmed
if I was around someone all the time
even if they were ideal for me

if he's the way you've described
he should be fine with you making more space

:loveshower:
I did feel overwhelmed, I guess I still do, but I feel a lot better. I told him and he also understands that I need a lot of time to get used to him and new situations in general.

It could be that you don't feel comfortable being happy or you don't feel you deserve it or you don't trust it. Or it could be that the relationship is moving too fast. You're obviously having a strong reaction so what is your body telling you? Maybe turn off your thoughts for a moment so you can just listen.
Actually this is something I often struggle with, it is rather hard to believe in something good if there has been a lot of bad stuff for a long time. Things are going way too well, but I managed to make the decision to think less about what might happen. It doesn't always work, but I feel calmer than I did a couple of days ago.
Also, I think the reaction was this strong because I tried to ignore it instead of listening. But I do know better, now.

See if you can slow things down. It might be that you are afraid of the intensity/speed of the relationship.
It certainly went too fast, but everything is slowing down. I still feel a little pressured, but it's getting better bit by bit. And we are talking a lot about how we want our relationship to go, so I think any kind of unease should disappear, soon.


Thank you all for your responses
 
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