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Feeling shunned by sister and past friends

  • Thread starter Mister_Fabulous formerly BetaMale
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M

Mister_Fabulous formerly BetaMale

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  • I had this good friend who I made during my first year at university. We used to spend a lot of time together during that year and continued to text long after that, but I once made the mistake of texting him while I was psychotic. We still kept in touch but one day he just stopped replying to my texts. I can kinda see his point of view, that the relationship may have outlived its natural lifespan and had become toxic to him.
  • I had another friend from high school who I'd sent a Facebook friend request to sometime last year. He didn't accept it, so I decided to email him instead to which he replied immediately in a cordial manner. I later resent the Facebook friend request but he didn't accept it again. A few days ago, I looked at his Facebook page and the button "Add friend" is no longer there. Apparently, he has blocked me from sending him further friend requests. I just don't understand: if he doesn't want to be in touch with me, why bother to reply to my email?
  • Last year, I'd added my younger sister, who was on my Facebook friends list, as my family member. Facebook requires that the claimed family member confirm the relationship, which my sister never did. It's as if she's ashamed of having a brother with a mental illness. When I questioned her about this, she claimed to have never received the notification for confirming our relationship, which I just don't buy.
These three things are weighing on my mind today and I'd like to know if I'm right to be upset.
 
H

hipchick

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I think it's quite normal to feel the way you do in these situations, but by my experience, when I am undergoing an episode, I am more sensitive to such situations, and have similar feelings myself at the moment about some of my friendships.
Treat yourself with tender loving care at the moment
 
M

MinnieMoo

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Hey

I think that if you friend request someone and they haven’t yet responded (because they haven’t noticed, haven’t logged on, or whatever the reason) then you can’t resend the request.

loads of people lose contact with their school friends, for whatever reason, it’s pretty common. Some adults don’t bother much at all with friendships (I do but my current and previous partners have not!). Do you have any hobbies where you meet people that have similar current interests?

there is a lovely person I met recently but have I not accepted their request, I just don’t want to and it’s absolutely no reflection on them, I just prefer them to be real life friends.

I think if your sister said that it’s best to just accept it. It might not be true but it sounds very feasible to me and it’s not worth worrying about when it’s could definitely be true and it’s nothing. Facebook does some really weird things sometimes. Is she mostly there for you when you really need her? Is she decent enough to you when you see her? If not then that’s different.

try to find other things to focus on, you could even stay right off Facebook at these times if it helps. Concentrate on things that make you feel happy and relaxed.
 
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Mister_Fabulous formerly BetaMale

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Do you have any hobbies where you meet people that have similar current interests?
Thank you so much for your kind response. :hug:
I sure have some interests: math, physics, chess, meditation, mental health but I'm a loner. I used to be part of chess clubs in the past but right now, I live with my parents and the only other people I interact with are my doctors. I spend some of my time taking online courses on Coursera, which I usually enjoy. Now that I'm unemployed, I don't like meeting people in public as I'd have to disclose my (un)employment situation and the reason behind it. It's far easier to shut myself at home except when I go for my daily walk in the park. However, I must add that my mental health is actually improving despite all this; my OCD and depression (except for today) have been getting better. I didn't sleep well last night, which may be why I've been having these thoughts today.

I think if your sister said that it’s best to just accept it. It might not be true but it sounds very feasible to me and it’s not worth worrying about when it’s could definitely be true and it’s nothing. Facebook does some really weird things sometimes. Is she mostly there for you when you really need her? Is she decent enough to you when you see her?
She's doing med school in another state. When she comes home during vacations, we're good friends and chat a lot. I rarely text her but when I do, she usually responds within a day.
 
M

MinnieMoo

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Have you considered volunteering as a way to meet people and get back into something? Mental illness is not something you should feel ashamed of. I would think people working in a charity would be more sympathetic than some. If you are having a bad day you don’t have to go in. You say you are a loner but you also miss those friendships :)
 
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