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Feeling really down

HauntedWitch

HauntedWitch

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Jul 9, 2019
Messages
501
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somewhere between here and there
@HauntedWitch, sorry for the late reply. Yes that's a good idea, I found an old diary a couple of weeks ago about something I'd been worrying about, so hopefully that will help. I feel guilty about a lot of things which is the hardest to deal with.
Good luck with the diary! I know a lot about guilt, having let myself down. I have never lived up to anyone's expectations.

I'm taking a 'vacation from guilt' -- an idea I developed as a result of research. I'm saying 'no' to people projecting emotions onto me, and I'm stopping 'should' thoughts. The 'vacation' isn't about condoning bad behavior. It's about feeling what I want to feel and accepting it, instead of suppressing it. It's about not feeling what I don't want to feel, and not judging myself. It's about acknowledging whether what I did or said really was wrong or not, and moving on from it, instead of wallowing in regret. The purpose is to find the real me, which was buried under somebody else's rules.
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
@HauntedWitch, Thank you. I've noticed people like to project their inadequates and failings onto you and also like to keep you in your place and tell you how you should live your life. I've got a habit of feeling guilty for things that other people wouldn't bother about but then they're the things that maybe I should feel bad for.

Think writing it down will help me work out what parts I'm responsible for because sometimes I just get a guilty feeling and I'm sure if I'm remembering it right.
 
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Sarah63689

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Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
@NWiddi, could you tell me please how to add the 'hugs', I worked out how to do the thumbs up, but can't find that one. Not sure if it's because I've got an old phone :):)
 
HauntedWitch

HauntedWitch

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
501
Location
somewhere between here and there
@HauntedWitch,Think writing it down will help me work out what parts I'm responsible for because sometimes I just get a guilty feeling and I'm sure if I'm remembering it right.
That's an idea. When something is on paper, then you can kind of underline exactly where you're taking on too much responsibility for something, if that's what is happening. Maybe there's a pattern to when and why it happens too.
 
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Sarah63689

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Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
Hi, I'm meeting a friend this afternoon, does anyone know what I should say about the situation with my Dad (him being emotionally abusive?) He knows a bit about it but don't want to talk about it too much. I just need something to say about it. Thank you
 
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Sarah63689

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Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
Still waiting for counselling, sent an email a few weeks ago and not heard back, they don't seem to answer their emails or voice mails. Got to see my Dad soon, have something that I borrowed from him before the holiday. Have seen a few friends but felt very anxious and didn't have enough to talk about. Hope this improves because it's upsetting me. Have been on walks to try to feel better and trying to think of other things to do.
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
I saw my Dad a few weeks ago now and it was a bit better, seeing him a lot less which is helping.

Have been looking into private counselling because they don't seem to respond to my messages at Cruse and not sure how long I'll have to wait.

Had a call from the cancer care centre today to see if I want another appointment to talk to them which is good but am very nervous.

Also seeing a friend I haven't seen in a while and have to have an inspection on my house for scaffolding to be put up which I'm dreading. So the anxiety's started a bit again. Still having trouble seeing friends and going out so hope to find something to help soon.
 
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Sarah63689

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Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
I found a counsellor, had a chat with her on the phone which went okay, feeling more positive at the moment. Hope to continue feeling better, not sure which way things will go.
 
KittenVonDoom

KittenVonDoom

Member
Joined
Oct 2, 2019
Messages
14
Location
hobe sound, fl 33455
I am very sorry for your loss. My mother passed 3 years ago yesterday. The pain does lessen as time goes by. Please hang in there. You are not alone. :)
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
Thank you. I'm sorry for the loss of your mother, anniversaries are hard. I lost my mum 16 years ago, I still miss her a lot but it does get easier as time passes as you say.
 
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Sarah63689

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Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
Feeling really down, can't sleep. Feel lonely and fed up.
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
Feel better again, sort of. Still lonely, have managed to feel better for today. My cat helped, she's sat on my knee now. Want the loneliness to stop soon.
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
Have the counselling appt tomorrow, am nervous about explaining everything. The appt at the cancer care centre went Ok, they said I can do one of the therapies so I chose aromatherapy which sounds good.

Met a friend on Friday, it was good to see him but still felt anxious and got upset afterwards. Have been on my own since then which is difficult, not sure if it's going to change.
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
Just got back from the counselling, she was really nice, wish I'd found her before but hope it will help now. Found it hard to talk about things though. I think I got everything across but stumbled on words and felt nervous. That's why I'm going though to help with anxiety. Feel like I wish the anxiety hadn't got so bad so I would have made a better impression because it's frustrating not been able to communicate properly. Anyway, will try not to dwell on it. It's hard to talk about my Dad and boyfriend.
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
83
Location
UK
Weekend alone again, try to get to the gym tomorrow. Am meeting a friend on Wednesday, still feel like I don't have much to talk about. Feel a bit better that I found a counsellor but not sure if it's going to help because it's hard to talk about things, which won't help the anxiety. Don't know how I can stop feeling lonely, sometimes I feel a bit more positive but then there's too much time on my own and finding it difficult to connect with people so feel lonely when I'm not on my own.
 
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