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Feeling really down

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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
94
Location
UK
Hi, my boyfriend died by suicide last year. My Dad has been emotionally abusive and has terminal cancer. Have been struggling to cope lately. In particular having problems with anxiety and getting on with friends because I tried to explain the situation with my Dad. Please could anyone help, am on the waiting list for counselling but it's taking ages to cone through. Thank you
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
94
Location
UK
Hi, thank you for your reply :) I feel really lonely at the moment. Have been trying to work out what to do about my Dad but am losing friends because of the way I've been lately. Keep worrying too much!
 
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Sarah63689

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Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
94
Location
UK
Thank you, I think I will. I talked to my friends about problems and wished I hadn't, it made me feel worse and think it stressed them out and has affected the friendships, esp as they have their own problems. Hoping to put things right somehow.
 
E

EM1

New member
Joined
Jul 6, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Marietta GA
Hi, my boyfriend died by suicide last year. My Dad has been emotionally abusive and has terminal cancer. Have been struggling to cope lately. In particular having problems with anxiety and getting on with friends because I tried to explain the situation with my Dad. Please could anyone help, am on the waiting list for counselling but it's taking ages to cone through. Thank you
I am very encouraging & understanding of what you're going through. Just know that in Jeremiah 29:11 God's got us no matter what happens. I have 5 companies to pay off including Disability insurance debt payments Bi-weekly of 250.00. I lost my disability insurance in December of 2017. Now I live with abusive & controlling parents that blame me for everything at times because their heads are stuck on political issues. Retired military as well.
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
94
Location
UK
Thank you, sorry to hear what you're going through, it must be really stressful. There's always hope I think, that things can get better.
 
Warrior

Warrior

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Jul 23, 2019
Messages
792
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UK
:welcome: @Sarah63689 to the forum..members are a great bunch of people and very helpful :)

Sorry to hear about your boyfriend and to do that something tipped him over the edge :( and regarding your dadbeing emotionally abusive I had a mother like that besides regarding in the hitting lark also, not a pleasant way in life but regarding your dads cancer my thoughts are with you on that aspect..had quite a few in the family besides my dad with it :hug:

It sounds like your own nerves have been tipped over the edge with worry and sent you in to anxiety state, if you don't mind me asking but are you caring for your dad also? as it's a large responsibility :grouphug:
 
HauntedWitch

HauntedWitch

ACCOUNT CLOSED
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Jul 9, 2019
Messages
501
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somewhere between here and there
Hi, my boyfriend died by suicide last year. My Dad has been emotionally abusive and has terminal cancer. Have been struggling to cope lately. In particular having problems with anxiety and getting on with friends because I tried to explain the situation with my Dad. Please could anyone help, am on the waiting list for counselling but it's taking ages to cone through. Thank you
Hi and welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear about your bf and your dad.

I have lost friends also during family health crises. The people you think of as friends sometimes aren't very understanding when the hard times come. I think you will find people on the forum who can totally relate to what is happening to you now though.
 
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Sarah63689

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
94
Location
UK
Thank you @Warrier, yes it was nice to get so many replies 😊

I think the bereavement counselling will help me deal with my feelings.

Sorry you had to put up with your Mum hitting you. I went on a holiday with him and my auntie a couple of months ago and that's where the problems started. He wanted to know where I was all the time and wouldn't believe me when I told him. One day I'd just text him to say I was at the hotel but he reported me missing to the hotel staff. My auntie was really critical of me too which has been upsetting. I got too stressed about the situation and caught up in trying to get some support from my friends.

I saw a counsellor as a one off, he said it was pycological abuse, it's been going on for years really. He was abusive towards my Mum, but since she died I've tried to get on with him, didn't realise how bad it was.

The plan was for me to be his carer but I'm not sure how I can be. Have been trying to arrange something if he needs treatment, he's not had any so far. He has a check-up at the hospital every 2 months, they said he might need chemotherapy. Think if I can get some support for help with his medical needs it might be easier to cope with.

Sorry you've had family who've had cancer, it seems to affect so many people 💜
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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Forum Safety Team
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May 6, 2017
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1,343
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Sheffiield
Welcome Sarah, I hope you get your counselling soon, talking can really help with a situation like yours. CBT was a great help to me. Until then I hope the forum will help you along a little.

Sorry to hear about your dad, I know you have mixed feelings towards him but it still doesn't make it any less painful.

My dad had cancer several years ago but after a lot of radiotherapy he beat it.
 
Warrior

Warrior

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Joined
Jul 23, 2019
Messages
792
Location
UK
Thank you @Warrier, yes it was nice to get so many replies 😊

I think the bereavement counselling will help me deal with my feelings.

Sorry you had to put up with your Mum hitting you. I went on a holiday with him and my auntie a couple of months ago and that's where the problems started. He wanted to know where I was all the time and wouldn't believe me when I told him. One day I'd just text him to say I was at the hotel but he reported me missing to the hotel staff. My auntie was really critical of me too which has been upsetting. I got too stressed about the situation and caught up in trying to get some support from my friends.

I saw a counsellor as a one off, he said it was pycological abuse, it's been going on for years really. He was abusive towards my Mum, but since she died I've tried to get on with him, didn't realise how bad it was.

The plan was for me to be his carer but I'm not sure how I can be. Have been trying to arrange something if he needs treatment, he's not had any so far. He has a check-up at the hospital every 2 months, they said he might need chemotherapy. Think if I can get some support for help with his medical needs it might be easier to cope with.

Sorry you've had family who've had cancer, it seems to affect so many people 💜
Hello Sarah, well I had counselling for 3 yrs solid and helped in some factors 👍

My background still torments me to this day but life goes on all though my thoughts now and again reflect back.

Definitely pycological abuse and your aunt was helping matters and if he did this with your mom, he's in the art of repeating it, it's controlling people around you and it really messes with your mind, I had this with my mom besides hitting and the same with first hubby, it makes you feel as low as the gutter (excuse my expression) but that's how I felt.

Being as I've experienced cancer in my family and how you are at the moment get someone in to help you dad because with his health it can lead to guilt trips on you next if you did look after him and you don't need that on top. :love: Abby X
 
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